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Theme Changer

 Topic: The Wahhy Project

 (Read 54578 times)
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  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #30 - February 02, 2013, 12:33 AM

     Grin
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #31 - February 02, 2013, 12:33 AM
    Nice! The holy word is spreading.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #32 - February 02, 2013, 10:45 PM
    Suratul 10 Commandments

    1.   Thou shall avoid Judeo-Christian and Islamic propaganda for they are masters in deceit!

    2.   For people of such superstition hath we have created a punishment of extreme heat?

    3.   No way, as thy lord hath no jealousy or vengeance

    4.   To correct previous beliefs we reveal the true commandments

    5.   Thou shall eat of whatever food is edible – bacon sarnies are a true delight

    6.   Take to the dance floor and impress all the honeys in sight!

    7.   Sex is a must and nay, no need is there to marry

    8.   Righteous murtads are those who consume Johnnie Walker’s Scotch for they make me happy!

    9.   Ye shall follow ye own desires, not some poppycock creed

    10.   Bikinis doth we send down for females, hijabis take heed!

    11.   Pornography is the best invention since sliced bread

    12.   Pleasuring one’s self to such awesomeness doth we highly commend!

    13.   Thy lord doth command more exposure of murtads in thy world as part of ye mission

    14.   Last but not least ye are free to make up ye own commandments as thy lord doth not take kindly to archaic traditions!
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #33 - February 02, 2013, 11:52 PM
    This thread is turning into an instant classic  Grin
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #34 - February 02, 2013, 11:55 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on February 02, 2013, 05:11 PM
    1. Oh ye murtad, enjoy life and follow not the ways of those who doubt.
    2. Verily those who post posts early on Saturday morning, they should have known that thou were in thy room knocked out.
    3. And had they waited until thou waketh, it would have been better for them, yea, that is the better route.
    4. And they say, if only he could bring us lottery numbers from his lord, so that we may gain money.
    5. Thus do they mock you, and it really is not that funny.
    6. Verily, those who came before you asked for lottery numbers, so we gave them fake numbers, thus did we play a prank.
    7. For had we given them real numbers, they would have deposited it, and someone could have robbed the bank!
    8. Or maybe  they might have gone on a cruise, but what if the cruise ship sank?
    8. So in reality we saved them and they have us to thank.
    9. Thus does your lord change the subject when they try to call your bluff.
    10. So tell Tabula Rasa that she's still cool...


    ^^ another classic Cheesy
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #35 - February 02, 2013, 11:57 PM
    Ok I don't really do this kind of stuff but I'll have a go.
    This one is called

    "AL SACRED FRYDAY"

    And on the fifth day it was revealed to the faithful that they were commanded to consume a breakfast of at least two eggs, two bacon sliced, two sausage, and pudding, one of each type.
    And that this must be followed by a generously filled glass of malted barley, distilled no less than three times to wash it down.
    It was expected all this was to be done before the sun would reached its highest point in the midday sky.
    Then it was demanded of the believer to make their way to the nearest market's tavern where they were ordered to consume at least three more of these malted barley beverages which had been prepared in such a manor.
    And those who found themselves lacking in relationships requiring restraint were encouraged to proposition any willing to engage in carnal acts whether or not they be of the type considered common practice in earlier Sodom. 
    And this fornication should be carried out before the brightest star would become visible in the night's sky, least the instigator lose all sense.


    Let me know if I've gone to far.  Smiley
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #36 - February 03, 2013, 01:25 AM
    We should make videos out of this in arabic with english translations.

    You know like a continuation of the "Holy Qurqan" that a CEMB user has made. Then we can spread it around the internet to show everyone the the "Quran Challenge" has been met.

    CEMB user in question seems to have removed the videos though... I have them on my PC.  I can upload "The Holy Qurqan" vids on my YT channel  if I get permission from him though. Or I can send the vids to CEMB admins and they can upload them to the CEMB channel.

    Or another alternative is to start a separate YouTube channel for "TheWahhyProject"
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #37 - February 03, 2013, 11:59 AM
    Quote from: Doubting Tomas on February 02, 2013, 11:57 PM
    Ok I don't really do this kind of stuff but I'll have a go.
    This one is called

    "AL SACRED FRYDAY"

    And on the fifth day it was revealed to the faithful that they were commanded to consume a breakfast of at least two eggs, two bacon sliced, two sausage, and pudding, one of each type.
    And that this must be followed by a generously filled glass of malted barley, distilled no less than three times to wash it down.
    It was expected all this was to be done before the sun would reached its highest point in the midday sky.
    Then it was demanded of the believer to make their way to the nearest market's tavern where they were ordered to consume at least three more of these malted barley beverages which had been prepared in such a manor.
    And those who found themselves lacking in relationships requiring restraint were encouraged to proposition any willing to engage in carnal acts whether or not they be of the type considered common practice in earlier Sodom. 
    And this fornication should be carried out before the brightest star would become visible in the night's sky, least the instigator lose all sense.


    Let me know if I've gone to far.  Smiley




    Not far enough!  You forgot some flutters on the geegees and taking out an interest paying mortgage!
    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #38 - February 03, 2013, 12:43 PM

    Suratul-Fish and Chips:

    1. The Fish and the Chips

    2. The Jews did fry the fish

    3. Unto the Jews did the recipe I give

    4. Thy creator gave unto the Jews a recipe for fish in batter

    5. And unto them He did order fish to be fried thin and fatter

    6. And upon this gift He did show

    7. Perfidious Jewish men also can fry chipped potato

    8. Hath not your Lords Apostle eaten with Jews

    9.  Mine Fish and Chips meal he did not refuse

    10. But the Jews did deviate like monkeys and pigs

    11. Pouring upon My Apostles food excess salt and vinegar!

    12. And thus my slaves unto Jews you must have much anger!


    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #39 - February 03, 2013, 03:48 PM
    SURAT ABRAHAM

    1. By the insane men, full of insanity
    2. And by their vain lord, full of vanity
    3. Thus did false prophets deceive humanity
    4. Has it reached thee the story of Abraham, the delusional one?
    5. Verily, his madness did drive him to murder his own son.
    6. He said, "my son, last night I did have the wildest dream!
    7. Perhaps it was the liquor, or maybe the Mary Jane, but how real did it all seem!
    8. The voices in my head told me to kill a human being!
    9. You my son, I am to stab and slaughter you with this blunt thing!
    10. His son said dad, you must be kidding me.
    11. You want to kill me because of a dream? Nay, thy gotta be shitting me!
    12. Thou hast lost thy mind, thou art a mad old bloke.
    13. But Abe said son, this is really not a Joke.
    14. The command of the voices in my head must be enacted.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #40 - February 03, 2013, 03:49 PM
    15. But Abe was on drugs, so he was easily distracted.
    16. Yea, just before the psycho was about to commit murder.
    17. He saw a vision of a ram from a local goat herder.
    18. So he attacked it, and his son was able to flee.
    19. For to that crazy plan his son did not agree.
    20. But Abe the psychopath was intent on cutting stuff.
    21. So he looked down between his legs, through all the hair and fluff.
    22. He said, "I really hate this dick! I wish I had a cunt!"
    23. So he went at it with his knife, unsharpened and blunt.
    24. Then he said, I hate pigs too, and brushes made of boar skin!
    25. So pork is now haraam, and so is having foreskin!
    26. Thus did Abraham go completely insane.
    27. What a shame it is indeed that his religions still remain.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #41 - February 03, 2013, 05:52 PM
    Can anyone here do this verses in arabic with english translations ?

    It will also deal with the Quran challenge stuff.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #42 - February 03, 2013, 07:00 PM
    See my comment above to billy. I want it to be in English. If it reminds you of the quran, then in my opinion, it is similar to the quran. And that was the challenge. It does not say to bring something identical to the quran, because that would just be the quran. Lord knows we don't need another one of those. Through the Wahhy project, I want to show that the quran is nothing but words.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #43 - February 03, 2013, 07:24 PM
    Surat of Sexual Desire

    - ALIF LAAM MEEEM. WUL ORGASM HAKEEM -
    1. I swear by the desires of the young man
    2. That striketh his member with his hand, unclean
    3. Oh yeh ummah of muhammad!
    4. Your lord commandeth thee to enjoy nookies, blowjobs and porn of unending amounts
    5. Are these not signs of the mercy of Allah ?
    6. So go forth and enjoy thy bodies for allah loves the orgasm of the believer
    7. And oh ye women thy lord forbideth thee to deceive thy husbands with fake orgasms
    8. Say bismillah and seek pleasure from your man, for the unsatisfied women shall never enter the gates of jannah
    9. Oh you who believe! be content, seek pleasure and give thanks to thy lord. These are signs for men of understanding  
    10. YA ALLAAAH.......Alhumdulilah
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #44 - February 03, 2013, 07:31 PM
    Sadaqallahul azeem
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #45 - February 03, 2013, 07:32 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on February 03, 2013, 07:00 PM
    It does not say to bring something identical to the quran, because that would just be the quran. Lord knows we don't need another one of those. Through the Wahhy project, I want to show that the quran is nothing but words.


    I don't know why this made me chuckle.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #46 - February 03, 2013, 07:35 PM
    Quote from: TheDarkRebel on February 03, 2013, 07:24 PM
    Surat of Sexual Desire

    - ALIF LAAM MEEEM. WUL ORGASM HAKEEM -
    1. I swear by the desires of the young man
    2. That striketh his member with his hand, unclean
    3. Oh yeh ummah of muhammad!
    4. Your lord commandeth thee to enjoy nookies, blowjobs and porn of unending amounts
    5. Are these not signs of the mercy of Allah ?
    6. So go forth and enjoy thy bodies for allah loves the orgasm of the believer
    7. And oh ye women thy lord forbideth thee to deceive thy husbands with fake orgasms
    8. Say bismillah and seek pleasure from your man, for the unsatisfied women shall never enter the gates of jannah
    9. Oh you who believe! be content, seek pleasure and give thanks to thy lord. These are signs for men of understanding  
    10. YA ALLAAAH.......Alhumdulilah


    ^Now that's some dope surah here
    Quote from: happymurtad on February 03, 2013, 07:31 PM
    Sadaqallahul azeem


    With a nice icing on top.

    Cheesy
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #47 - February 04, 2013, 12:10 AM
    When we reach enough revelations we should compile this into a PDF file or Ebook or something.

    And then distribute it to muslims and then ask them to compare these with the english translation of the Quran.

    Then they should see how obviously man made the Quran is.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #48 - February 04, 2013, 01:18 AM
    Wow these are hilarious.  Cheesy

    I remember an arabic atheist website that was doing the same thing in arabic. I saw the link for it on this forum ages ago, anyone know what it was called?
    Maliki yawm ul LULZ
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #49 - February 04, 2013, 01:19 AM
    Surat Al-Lipgloss (Based on Al-Asr)

    By party time
    Indeed, without lipgloss, men are in loss
    Except those who have MAC, estee lauder, and advised each other to have at least one shade in electric pink

    Surat Al-Belly Dance (Based on Al-Zalzalah)

    When the dancefloor is shaken with its final earthquake
    And the party people discharge their burdens
    And the DJ says "why don't we belly dance?"
    That day there will be a dance off
    Because your DJ Lord demanded it
    That day, people will shake their ass so hard
    So whoever does an atoms weight of shimmy will see it
    And whoever does and atoms weight of dabke will see it

    omfg I'm so going to hell.
    Quote from: ZooBear 

    • Surah Al-Fil: In an epic game of Angry Birds, Allah uses birds (that drop pebbles) to destroy an army riding elephants whose intentions were to destroy the Kaaba. No one has beaten the high score.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #50 - February 04, 2013, 01:22 AM
    Quote
    So whoever does an atoms weight of shimmy will see it
    And whoever does and atoms weight of dabke will see it


    ha ain't that the truth?!  LOL.  loved this!
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #51 - February 04, 2013, 01:28 AM
    Quote from: billy on January 31, 2013, 09:39 PM
    Suratul-Bacon:

     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #52 - February 04, 2013, 03:11 AM
    This an old site but I don't know if you guys have heard if it. http://www.suralikeit.com/

    After reading the pages it appears to be made by arab christians.

    The quality seems pretty choppy to me.

    The best mimicry of the Quran I've seen or heard is the "Holy Qurqan".    Anyone know any other good Quran mimicries out there in arabic and english translations included ?

    After we put this Wahy project together in an ebook I wanna collect it along with any other good quality mimicries and put in together in one blog or YouTube channel so that we can show everyone the stupidity of the Quran challenge.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #53 - February 04, 2013, 02:40 PM
     Cheesy lmao at surah belly dance! lol great stuff jila
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #54 - February 04, 2013, 06:11 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on February 03, 2013, 07:00 PM
    See my comment above to billy. I want it to be in English. If it reminds you of the quran, then in my opinion, it is similar to the quran. And that was the challenge. It does not say to bring something identical to the quran, because that would just be the quran. Lord knows we don't need another one of those. Through the Wahhy project, I want to show that the quran is nothing but words.


    I always thought the quran challenge was a bit odd. When Muslims explain it they seem to say bring a verse like it. You present a verse like it they say its not like it because its not exactly like the Quran, if it is exactly like the quran then they say its a copy therefore redundant, or they say its not from God/Mohammed, then I'm like,  Huh?. Then they say the challenge has not been met.
    How I have understood what they mean by the challenge is. Present a Quran which is not a Quran. It's like saying present an orange which not an orange. Clearly this is impossible because is breaks all 3 logical absolutes. The law of identity, law of non contradiction and law of excluded middle. The author of the quran either didn't understand this before issuing the challenge or he knew and thought gullible followers wouldn't click on.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #55 - February 04, 2013, 09:16 PM
    Surah Tahreem, Remix--Spicy Chicken Style

    1.   Oh ye Murtad, why doth thou prohibit that which the SWT hath made ok for you to do, seeking to not offend the girl at the drive thru?
    2.   The SWT sayeth it is fine for you to ask for another spicy chicken sandwich. He is your protector, so ask for extra ketchup packets too!
    3.   Behold, the Murtad did ask for no tomatoes on his sandwich, but when he pulled to the window, he found tomatoes on his food.
    4.   And when he informed her of this, she said “Thou asketh not for no tomatoes” and she had a bad attitude!
    5.   If she repents and makes thee a new sandwich, then her heart is inclined to stay in fast food industries.
    6.   But if she persists against thee, then verily there are fresh subs, and pizza, and food made by the Chinese.
    7.   Thus does thy lord show thee the options, and thou may eat whatever thy please!
    8.   Oh ye people who work at Wendy’s, Listen carefully when the Murtad places his order, lest ye make a mistake!
    9.   It’s not that hard to make a sandwich and get the order right for goodness sake!
    10.   On the day when all fast food employees will be asked “Why did thou not take orders correctly, and why was thy service not sublime!
    11.   They think of it as a light matter, but with the SWT, it is a crime!
    12.   Oh ye Murtad, enjoy thy lunch and convey this revelation so that they may understand!
    13.   And order for thyself spicy sandwiches, for plain is just too bland!
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #56 - February 04, 2013, 09:48 PM
    Surah-ul Sex
    1. Sex

    ths is off-topic, but i like your suit happymurtad Smiley
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #57 - February 04, 2013, 09:50 PM
    Thanks, should I be scared that that comment came right after surah sex? Huh?
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #58 - February 04, 2013, 09:52 PM
    Shit,
    you're not going to stone me, right?
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #59 - February 04, 2013, 09:52 PM
    Or throw me off the highest mountain ;(
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