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Theme Changer

 Topic: The Wahhy Project

 (Read 54452 times)
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  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #120 - February 20, 2013, 02:44 AM
    Quote from: tabularasa on February 20, 2013, 02:29 AM
    Compile the teachings now please.  Let's not just sit around and memorize them now and then scratch them down on palm leaves and compile them 50 years or so after the fact.  We need to learn from history the mistakes of civilizations past.   Wink

    Oh and of course, let's ask Jibreel ahead of time for the holy order in which they are to be compiled once they are in the book, that can be a messy process too....


    Also we do not want to go down Uthman's messy "recension" road. It is very hard to completely wipe cyber material.

    And yes(!!!) PLEASE compile the revelation in CHRONOLOGICAL order. Is that too much to ask???
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #121 - February 20, 2013, 03:40 PM
    Quote
    Compile ?!?


    The revelations are nowhere near finished.... 


    I sure hope they aren't! 

    Let's just make sure we don't f**k it up like the Tabi'in and the Tabi al Tabi'in did.  Get it?
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #122 - February 20, 2013, 03:48 PM
    Yeah, the SWT kinda got the hunch that writing on bones, palm leaves, and animal skins wasn’t exactly the best preservation method. This time around, the revelations will be all digitally archived.  Afro
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #123 - February 20, 2013, 03:52 PM
    Gotta love the Bi'dah of technology!
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #124 - March 01, 2013, 11:10 AM
    LOL; so I guess we don't have to worry about a goat eating any verses then.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #125 - March 01, 2013, 01:25 PM
    Quote
    a goat eating any verses


    Arthur C Clarke and Stephen Baxter I think wrote a novel about time travel via wormholes where you could go back and look at anything.  I propose therefore doing this to look at this scrap before the goat ate it.  The other way would be to track the atoms of this goat - because they contain the thoughts of Allah they should be readily identifiable, like plutonium - we need the equivalent of a geiger counter, a holiness detector!

    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #126 - March 13, 2013, 07:02 PM
    Suratul Oral Sex

    1.   They ask thee concerning the blow job, say “They are a blessing and your lord doth command them.”
    2.   So follow not the ways of those who say that we have banned them
    3.   Indeed, your lord has enjoined blow jobs, so fill them with much slobber
    4.   Thus shall we reward every voluptuous head bobber
    5.   Oh ye Murtads, when ye perform blowjobs on your partners, allow for deep throat penetration.
    6.   And there is no harm if ye decided to use a little extra lubrication.
    7.   So use your tongues, and stroke the staffs, and play with balls beneath
    8.   And curl thy lips as ye go down, and beware of too much teeth
    9.   Verily, those who receive blow jobs in this life shall be rewarded with great orgasms
    10.   So spit out not their cum and persevere through all the spasms
    11.   And the apostates say “Praises be to the SWT for oral sex and the pleasure it doth bring us!”
    12.   Yea, thus does your lord also enjoin upon thee cunnilingus 
    13.   Verily, those who refuse to go down on women have no idea what they are missing.
    14.   So start ye slow between her thighs, then kiss her mound with precious kissing
    15.   And when ye sense that she is moved by thee, and she begins to move her hips
    16.   Move thee faster and use thy tongue and rub her clit between your lips
    17.   And there is no harm upon thee if ye caress the nipples on her tits
    18.   Verily, those who refuse to go down on their woman they really do not respect her
    19.   For blessed is her sweet fragrance and the taste of her sealed nectar
    20.   So enjoy oral sex, oh Murtads, for your lord doth make it lawful
    21.    And do not stop before ye climax, because that’s just bloody awful
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #127 - March 13, 2013, 07:37 PM
     Grin
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #128 - March 13, 2013, 07:37 PM
    but surely it should be Surat al-fellatio?
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #129 - March 13, 2013, 07:45 PM
    Quote from: billy on March 13, 2013, 07:37 PM
    but surely it should be Surat al-fellatio?

    Did you miss the entire half of the surah talking about cunnilingus? Since both fellatio and cunnilingus are described equally (and in vivid detail Grin Afro ), the name as it was revealed is the most appropriate. And the SWT knows best yes
    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
    - 32nd United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #130 - March 13, 2013, 07:50 PM
    Surat al-Qunnilingus
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #131 - March 13, 2013, 09:06 PM
    If there's one thing the Qur'an has taught us, it's that surah names are not necessarily by topic.  Wink
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #132 - March 13, 2013, 10:20 PM
    you know, the more I read of these, eh-hem, "divine revelations" the more I'm convinced that Jibreel is Larry Flynt.
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #133 - March 13, 2013, 10:24 PM
    Blasphemy!!
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #134 - March 13, 2013, 10:26 PM
    Pornographer!   Wink
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #135 - March 13, 2013, 10:28 PM
    You are taking the verses out of context! (You really are though...it was originally in response to the "Are Blowjobs Halal" thread)  Wink

    Besides, don't act like you din't like it.  Cheesy
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #136 - March 13, 2013, 10:42 PM
    you're wrong.  I knew what it was referring to.  I even commented on that thread.  Tsk tsk, how soon we forget.

    That being said, I hereby nominate you (or "Jibreel") for the CEMB Porn Master of the Month.

    and of course I liked it....   smoke 

    you haven't written a bad Surah yet.
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #137 - March 13, 2013, 10:45 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on March 13, 2013, 09:06 PM
    If there's one thing the Qur'an has taught us, it's that surah names are not necessarily by topic.  Wink


    haha very true  Afro
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #138 - March 13, 2013, 10:47 PM
    Quote from: tabularasa on March 13, 2013, 10:42 PM

    you haven't written Jibreel hasn't revealed a bad Surah yet.


    Correction  Afro
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #139 - March 13, 2013, 10:50 PM
    oh yes, Jibreel, that naughty lil angel. 
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #140 - March 13, 2013, 10:55 PM
    surat - l7as teezi ya 3azeei  smoke 


    sadaq al murtad el 7akeem..  runalong
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9vdUjuWxc
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #141 - March 13, 2013, 10:55 PM
    btw, that "Sealed Nectar" line was brilliant.  LOL.  Only ex-Muslims with keen eyes, could catch that one.

    http://compare.ebay.com/like/251232216182?var=lv&ltyp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #142 - March 13, 2013, 10:59 PM
    Hey Nesrin...ha ha!  isn't she the best? -----> smoke

    We really need to use her on this forum more often.
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #143 - March 13, 2013, 11:04 PM
    Will there be any... erm... "hadith" expanding on this surah? Angelic Muslimah 001_wub Nude nerd Embarrassed
    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
    - 32nd United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #144 - March 13, 2013, 11:14 PM
    I just love Jibreel's use of "Verily" in H.M's revelations, for some reason it never ceases to make me lol?  Cheesy
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #145 - March 14, 2013, 05:52 PM
    Surat Yeezevee

    1.   Ignore! In the name of your lord who reveals
    2.   (Who) reveals unto thee exactly how he feels
    3.   Ignore Yeezevee! And cause him no offense
    4.   For his posts simply do not make any sense
    5.   Have ye seen how Yeezevee has transgressed
    6.   As he vandalizes threads like a pest
    7.   With his posts that are lacking in eloquence
    8.   And his random videos of no relevance
    9.   Nay, if he does not cease, he shall be put on a permanent ignore
    10.   An ignore that will block his posts for ever and ever more!
    11.   Nay! Pay no attention to him, disregard his comments, and act like he does not exist!
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #146 - March 14, 2013, 06:49 PM
    I am like a flippin groupie with HM painted on my chest   piggy
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #147 - March 15, 2013, 04:44 AM
    I do remember some stories of big all blanket mo's from kuffar sight.

    shivers*
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #148 - March 15, 2013, 06:05 AM
    Quote from: happymurtad on March 14, 2013, 05:52 PM
    Surat Yeezevee

    1.   Ignore! In the name of your lord who reveals
    2.   (Who) reveals unto thee exactly how he feels
    3.   Ignore Yeezevee! And cause him no offense
    4.   For his posts simply do not make any sense
    5.   Have ye seen how Yeezevee has transgressed
    6.   As he vandalizes threads like a pest
    7.   With his posts that are lacking in eloquence
    8.   And his random videos of no relevance
    9.   Nay, if he does not cease, he shall be put on a permanent ignore
    10.   An ignore that will block his posts for ever and ever more!
    11.   Nay! Pay no attention to him, disregard his comments, and act like he does not exist!



    You should write some of these in Arabic.
    FreeThought Wiki is looking for translators!

    Current projects: Faraj Foda's "al-Haqiqa al Ghaib" (Arabic) and Turan Dursun's "Din Bu I" (Turkish)
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #149 - March 15, 2013, 09:44 AM
    Quote from: happymurtad on February 01, 2013, 04:08 PM
    No. If Muhammad got to write his poems in his language, we get to write ours in our language. This whole “it has to be in 7th century Arabic because that was such a better language” thing is BS. English has the most words of any language and is spoken on every continent. That's why Jibreel uses English when he comes to me.  ;)If Muhammad was able to spit verses in a FOREIGN language, I might be more inclined to believe him. But he used his own, and so will I. 

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