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 Topic: Sick of hiding it

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  • Sick of hiding it
     OP - March 02, 2013, 02:32 PM
    Hello everyone. I'm an 18 year old male living in Australia but I was born and raised in the Middle East. I was a practising Muslim till about the age of 16 until I completely lost my faith by the age of 17 by realising the whole idea religion is a complete joke.

    I'm just sick of hiding the fact I'm an atheist. I know if I told any of my family I would be disowned but I just can't stand it anymore and I feel completely hopeless whenever I think about my future. I'm sure a lot of the members here have gone through the same thing I'm going through. Please offer me advise and tell me it gets better.

    Thanks everyone.
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #1 - March 02, 2013, 02:58 PM
    I totally understand where you are coming from but be smart with your steps. You might feel some relief by openly questioning some things and bringing them up with your parents. You may just need to wait till you can support yourself before you openly say the words "I am an atheist" or "I don't believe". You may have to settle with the words "I have a problem with..." Or openly question some if the most horrid parts of the religion like Safiya being "married" to Muhammad right after he killed her husband and father. Ask your mother if she would marry the man who killed her father and tortured and killed her husband. Openly question the killing if every single male who had reached puberty from that one Jewish tribe. Boys as young as 10 or 11 would have been beheaded.

    You know your situation better than anyone here so feel it out. Feel what you can get away with but don't push too far in this stage of your life. Everything at the right time.
    -------------------
    Believe in yourself
    -------------------
    Strike me down and I'll just become another nail in your coffin
    -------------------
    There's such a thing as sheep in wolfs clothing... religious fanatics
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #2 - March 02, 2013, 04:23 PM
    I understand how you feel bro. I'm in the same boat as you.


    Yes it does get tiring to pretend being a muslim and extremely irritating when they bugger you to pray all the time.

    But just think about it. Your current situation is bad but probably not as bad as living homeless on the streets.


    You just have to keep on pretending until you can go away for uni when you finish high school. Even then don't tell your parents your not a muslim until you have that degree in your hands and a job. '


    And I have to disagree with Pepe on the talking to you parents as if your doubting Islam.

    I tried that route and it just ended up with them putting me in islamic classes and just shoving Islam further down my throat than they already were.

    Just pretend to be pious and when its stressing you out just set aside an hour to take a long walk or listen or music that soothes you.

    Just focus on your school work relax, and just think about going off to uni ad making new non religious friends.

    It's all about patience bro. Take care
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #3 - March 02, 2013, 04:56 PM
    Firstly, welcome bunny parrot 
     I agree with TDR: don't say a word until you're financially independent. You don't want to end up on the streets or worse…
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #4 - March 02, 2013, 05:16 PM
    Ditto on the advice from TheDarkRebel and Al-Alethia - Wait until you are financially independent!

    I've been in your situation and it sucked. It literally sucks the life out of you. However there is very little you can do while you are tied to them. So you have to be patient. And do not voice doubts. TDR is right, it might worsen your situation. You just have to wait it out.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #5 - March 03, 2013, 12:17 AM
    Thanks for the replies everyone! Smiley
    Yeah, I don't think it would be suitable for me to start questioning things, I would just get a lecture on how everything happens for a reason and that God's knowledge is beyond human comprehension. I've been hiding my atheism for about a year now but it's gotten to the point where every time I am interrupted to go pray or something, it just feels like the biggest waste of time and makes me feel so weak.

    I am currently in uni (first day starts tomorrow!) and I just take my mind off these things by studying and going to the gym. The thing is that even though my parents are religious, I really do love them and I feel like they deserve a bit better from me which is why I'll probably never tell them, even if I'm financially stable.
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #6 - March 03, 2013, 07:35 AM
    Yeah, I used to get really annoyed whenever my mum would interrupt me and tell me to pray; I felt like "I don't believe in this, why won't it just go away!".

    Good luck  Afro
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #7 - March 03, 2013, 08:19 AM
    Quote from: WowSignal on March 02, 2013, 02:32 PM
    Hello everyone. I'm an 18 year old male living in Australia but I was born and raised in the Middle East. I was a practising Muslim till about the age of 16 until I completely lost my faith by the age of 17 by realising the whole idea religion is a complete joke.

    I'm just sick of hiding the fact I'm an atheist. I know if I told any of my family I would be disowned but I just can't stand it anymore and I feel completely hopeless whenever I think about my future. I'm sure a lot of the members here have gone through the same thing I'm going through. Please offer me advise and tell me it gets better.

    Thanks everyone.

    Enjoy yourself! You are still young and don't make religion or believing in God(s) a priority... sloshed GoodVsBad Chilling
    Deaf, dumb, and blind, they will not return (to the path). (al-Baqarah 2:18)
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #8 - March 03, 2013, 10:10 AM
    I'm new to this forum so I thought I'd say hi first  Smiley

    I'm in the exact same situation as you guys too. I left Islam last year, after realizing just how much violence and bullshit there really is in it. But of course I come from a moderately religious Pakistani family, and even though I live here in Canada, speaking out or leaving Islam would get me disowned by my family, and ostracized by my friends and community.

    It really sucks having to pretend to be something you're not, and keep your mouth shut when you're forced to go the mosque. I'm a few months in my first year of university, so I find just focusing on my work kinda helps in dealing with this, but sometimes I just feel so hopeless and lost about my future. Like I even went on a muslim forum today to talk to some Muslims about apostasy, and all I got was how people who question or leave Islam should be killed: ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?356658-Apostasy-Blasphemy-Punish-by-death-or-tolerate

    Thankfully I came across here, it's kinda relieving to hear from others about being in a similar position  Smiley
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #9 - March 03, 2013, 10:11 AM
    Quote from: S.A.M on March 03, 2013, 08:19 AM
    Enjoy yourself! You are still young and don't make religion or believing in God(s) a priority... sloshed GoodVsBad Chilling


    Astaghfirullah, SAM. No-one knows when Allah will take our souls! Surely you should warn him not to be of the wrongdoers and Polytheists so he can save himself from a "painful torment".
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #10 - March 03, 2013, 12:10 PM
    just had a look at ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?356658-Apostasy-Blasphemy-Punish-by-death-or-tolerate, wow, what a lovely bunch of educated folks over there.
    Welcome WowSignal and freethinking, enjoy your stay here and here we welcome Jahannam cause it is just a figment of our imagination Smiley
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #11 - March 03, 2013, 12:31 PM
    I know how you fell. I would be disowned too, it's sad that your own parents would kick you out because of the stupid ass community, Allah and Muhammed.  Shocked
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #12 - March 03, 2013, 12:43 PM
    Thanks for the welcome. Makes me somewhat happy to know people are on the same boat as me. Thanks for your advice. I guess there really isn't anything to do except wait till I can move out.
    I find it funny how when I was raised, I really thought I had life figured out and I legit thought atheists were bad people. You live and you learn I guess. I wonder what people would think of me if I ever told my muslims friends,
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #13 - March 03, 2013, 01:09 PM
    Quote from: Dr_Zhivago on March 03, 2013, 12:10 PM
    just had a look at ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?356658-Apostasy-Blasphemy-Punish-by-death-or-tolerate, wow, what a lovely bunch of educated folks over there.

    Lovely people, really Roll Eyes

    Quote
    By the way this is exactly why we hate apostates. They come on here and cause other Muslims to doubt the true deen.

    Cheesy
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #14 - March 03, 2013, 04:16 PM
    I hate it too.

    I had to pray Jumua prayer in the mosque last Friday because I was with muslim friends. I didn't eve do wudo.

    Or when I go for a burger I usually order it with bacon, but when my muslim friends are with me it has to be a plain burger.

    Annoying as fuark.
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #15 - March 03, 2013, 05:00 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on March 03, 2013, 10:11 AM
    Astaghfirullah, SAM. No-one knows when Allah will take our souls! Surely you should warn him not to be of the wrongdoers and Polytheists so he can save himself from a "painful torment".

     Allah speaks to everyone at all the time, not only to the Messengers and Prophets’. He speaks to the ears of every heart, but it is not every heart that hears Him but many people did not understand a single word. Why? Because it is an inner language, its words are not the same as the words of the external language.

    Allah tell us the warning signs of when it's time the soul leaves the body. Whether we know it or not.
    Deaf, dumb, and blind, they will not return (to the path). (al-Baqarah 2:18)
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #16 - March 03, 2013, 05:05 PM
    Dammit! Someone messed up and put my ears on my head instead of on my heart!
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #17 - March 03, 2013, 05:19 PM
    Quote from: S.A.M on March 03, 2013, 05:00 PM
    Allah speaks to everyone at all the time, not only to the Messengers and Prophets’. He speaks to the ears of every heart, but it is not every heart that hears Him but many people did not understand a single word. Why? Because it is an inner language, its words are not the same as the words of the external language.

    Are you sure it's not just indigestion?
    Too fucking busy, and vice versa.
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #18 - March 03, 2013, 05:27 PM
    Quote
    Are you sure it's not just indigestion?


    Allah can speak to us in many ways...
    Deaf, dumb, and blind, they will not return (to the path). (al-Baqarah 2:18)
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #19 - March 03, 2013, 05:31 PM
    Quote from: S.A.M on March 03, 2013, 05:27 PM
    Allah can speak to us in many ways...

    He should try audibly.
    Too fucking busy, and vice versa.
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #20 - March 03, 2013, 06:49 PM
    Welcome WowSignal, the others have given great advice and I can attest to the fact it is in your best interest to wait till you are financially and socailly stable position before owning up your apostasy.

    Quote from: S.A.M on March 03, 2013, 05:00 PM
    Allah speaks to everyone at all the time, not only to the Messengers and Prophets’. He speaks to the ears of every heart, but it is not every heart that hears Him but many people did not understand a single word. Why? Because it is an inner language, its words are not the same as the words of the external language.

    Allah tell us the warning signs of when it's time the soul leaves the body. Whether we know it or not.


    Quote from: S.A.M on March 03, 2013, 05:27 PM
    Allah can speak to us in many ways...


    Oh come on, You are just interpreting these fuzzy feelings to mean what you want them to mean. It's just a form of special pleading on your part to associate this with your particular brand of spirituality/theology.

    Though I understand your analogy with the heart, it really is a pet peeve of mine when people allude to the heart having a bigger capacity than pumping blood. Also could you provide examples how exactly God speaks to you?. IS it audible? etc.
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #21 - March 03, 2013, 07:07 PM
    Welcome WoWsignal and FreeThinking!

     parrot parrot
    "Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
            Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

    - John Keats
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #22 - March 03, 2013, 08:07 PM
    Quote from: S.A.M on March 03, 2013, 05:00 PM
    Allah speaks to everyone at all the time, not only to the Messengers and Prophets’. He speaks to the ears of every heart, but it is not every heart that hears Him but many people did not understand a single word. Why? Because it is an inner language, its words are not the same as the words of the external language.

    Allah tell us the warning signs of when it's time the soul leaves the body. Whether we know it or not.


    Allah just told me you're full of shit.

    Prove me wrong, SAM. Prove me wrong.
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #23 - March 03, 2013, 08:09 PM
    Quote from: S.A.M on March 03, 2013, 05:27 PM
    Allah can speak to us in many ways...


    Except in the way that actually matters.
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #24 - March 03, 2013, 09:33 PM
    I am God, I make the sun rise from the East, can your Allah make it rise from the West? If not then that is a sign for you to believe in me.
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #25 - March 03, 2013, 10:36 PM
    So god is an innate feeling of right or wrong? If so then god is just another word for good or whatever. You are just labelling it god/allah.
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #26 - March 04, 2013, 12:37 AM
    Hey WowSignal  Smiley Hope you're enjoying uni!
    Welcome parrot
    Quote from: ZooBear 

    • Surah Al-Fil: In an epic game of Angry Birds, Allah uses birds (that drop pebbles) to destroy an army riding elephants whose intentions were to destroy the Kaaba. No one has beaten the high score.

  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #27 - March 04, 2013, 01:45 AM
    Quote from: Al-Alethia on March 03, 2013, 07:35 AM
    ^ I start uni tomorrow too! Yeah, I used to get really annoyed whenever my mum would interrupt me and tell me to pray; I felt like "I don't believe in this, why won't it just go away!". I don't know why but for some reason my mum doesn't nag me to pray anymore. I'm not ever going to tell my family either; they're good people and I don't want to hurt them. 
    Good luck  Afro

     


    I feel ya lol


    I the sleep deprived uni student try to get some sleep before I have to wake up early in the morning to commute down to my early morning class.

    Then my parents yell at me to wake up for fajr.

    It wastes half an hour of my already minimal sleep time.   


    Fuck it I can't wait to get my degree and then come out to them. I envy the freedom other uni kids get...

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #28 - March 04, 2013, 05:59 AM
    Quote from: e-raja on March 03, 2013, 06:49 PM
    Welcome WowSignal, the others have given great advice and I can attest to the fact it is in your best interest to wait till you are financially and socailly stable position before owning up your apostasy.

    Oh come on, You are just interpreting these fuzzy feelings to mean what you want them to mean. It's just a form of special pleading on your part to associate this with your particular brand of spirituality/theology.

    Though I understand your analogy with the heart, it really is a pet peeve of mine when people allude to the heart having a bigger capacity than pumping blood. Also could you provide examples how exactly God speaks to you?. IS it audible? etc.

    It is the senses of touch, feel and taste to received the impression of a knowledgeable, positive resource…e.g when we're hungry or thirsty.. it is our body’s ways of letting us know through the senses of touch, feel and taste… the same thing..Warning signs of when it's time the soul leaves the body.

    Audible

    When men were sentenced to death…believe it or not.. is it a word from Allah. All they have to do is surrender to Allah… Islam (submission, surrender).
    Deaf, dumb, and blind, they will not return (to the path). (al-Baqarah 2:18)
  • Sick of hiding it
     Reply #29 - March 04, 2013, 06:05 AM
    Quote from: Hassan on March 03, 2013, 08:07 PM
    Allah just told me you're full of shit.

    Prove me wrong, SAM. Prove me wrong.

    Except in the way that actually matters.

     You'd never heard my (S.A.M) voice.. When I'm talking to you.  You don't even know who I am. It's because you don't know me at all.

    It's the same thing you dont know it was Allah Himself speaking..

    Deaf, dumb, and blind, they will not return (to the path). (al-Baqarah 2:18)
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