https://www.facebook.com/hosaimojo/posts/675926536411Something has really been troubling me since early this morning. It came out as a result of this whole ordeal in Boston.
A friend of mine had to travel for work to Iowa. She was alone and away from her family. She wears the hijab full-time but because of the tension over the Boston situation she felt scared for her safety and sought the advice of not one but TWO scholars about what to do. They both gave her the permission to remove her hijab if she felt threatened and scared. So she did-TEMPORARILY. She then shared this information publicly as part of a relevant discussion about the increased hostility towards Muslims since the explosions on Monday. Sadly, someone immediately reprimanded her and told her she was wrong for what she did.
This bothered me on SO many levels. First of all, let me say on behalf of every single hijabi out there that NO ONE has the right to tell us how to wear our hijab, when to wear it or when to not wear it! I don't care who you are, it is truly NONE of your business. Just as your prayers, your fasts, your zakat, your dhikr, and all of your other acts of worship are between you and your Lord, so too is the hijab for us. Please respect that.
Secondly, if you have never warn the hijab what gives you the right to talk about it in any capacity? I think it's ridiculous that people presume to know what a hijabi should or shouldn't do when they have never experienced what it's like to walk in our shoes. And I cannot stand the constant scrutiny that hijabis are under ALL the time. Seriously why does it make people feel good to constantly pick on us? Why are we held to an impossible standard of perfection in our community? Why do people assume that because we wear it we can never have a moment of weakness--ever? Are we superhuman because of the hijab? Are we somehow in the ranks of angels? Of course not! We still struggle with spiritual diseases, weaknesses, temptations, etc just as you do, just as the aunty who's been to Hajj 10+ times does, just as the qari who recites the Tarawih at Ramadan does, just as the imam who gave your Jumuah khutba today does!
And subhanAllah, as if it's not hard enough to go out every single day and take the ugly stares, the glares, the CONSTANT prejudice from inside and outside our community. As if it's not hard enough to be pigeonholed as a helpless oppressed foreigner every time we go out. As if it's not hard enough to struggle with the most basic things that others take for granted like: SHOPPING for seasons and occasions, finding a job, finding a mate, meeting new people, interacting with neighbors and strangers on the street or at the coffee shop, traveling, driving, etc!!! I could go on and on...but the point is not to complain about any of that...we are well aware of these struggles and we take them on SOLELY for the sake of God!
Nevertheless, what would make it a whole lot easier on us to deal with the negative elements outside of our community is if we had support, understanding, consideration, encouragement from WITHIN our community.
So, please stop your judgements, your self-righteousness, your need to offer unsolicited advice or admonition to hijabis. Our spiritual practice is NO concern of yours. Whether you see someone wearing a wrap, a hat, with her neck exposed or is shrouded from her head to her toes, LEAVE HER ALONE just as you wish others to leave you alone. Because you have NO idea what her spiritual condition is, what her sense of security/self confidence is, whose counsel she has taken (as the example of my friend who removed her hijab when she felt threatened), etc.
And finally, if you are sincerely concerned about something and the need to offer a nasiha, then do so with sincerity, with care, with mercy, with compassion, with tact, and with respect for that person's honor by doing so in PRIVATE!
Topic: Boston marathon bombing