Please tell me you're not interpreting the descriptions as literal full on descriptions...
Oh right, we can't take the descriptions literally. Where have I heard that before?
Look, if you want to believe that a 2000 year old zombie hippie is your lord and personal savoir, then please, be my guest. It is your prerogative. Please just know that you sound just as ridiculous to everyone else as those who believe an illiterate merchant rode a magical donkey into heaven. When you come here dismissing other faiths as false, don't be alarmed when you raise some eyebrows.
Quick question: What country are you from again?
And what particular brand of delusion do you believe to be true?
See any patterns?