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 Topic: Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam

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  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #120 - December 30, 2013, 04:43 PM
    Shampoo your hair, cut your nails and remove pubic hair during the period. My mum told me that you are supposed to do all this after your period is over, within a day wacko. And yes, give a piece of your mind to your bff who slut-shames you because you haven't limited your actions with your ex-boyfriend to kissing, holding hands and hugging, and didn't end up getting a marriage proposal from him!
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #121 - May 12, 2014, 08:58 PM
    So thought about making short term plans. Right now everything is a mess, but hopefully at the end of this year, I've layed the foundation for more awesome experiences to come.

    I've slowly started to express myself as an individual through my clothes. It takes time and money, but everything I wear is my style in which I'm comfortable with. This summer, I'm planning on wearing short shorts, showing off more skin than I've ever done in the last 8 years. I will never again feel self-conscious about my body. Fuck hijab, niqab and Islamic modesty and fuck comparing yourself with photoshopped super models.

    I'm gonna get in the best shape of my life, no more heavy breathing after running or back pain. I've already started on that one.

    After summer, I'm gonna take salsa/rumba/samba classes. I would've done it now, but no new classes untill fall unfortunately.

    By next year, I have moved into a new and bigger apartment. I'm gonna buy a piano and sign up for classes. This is something I really want to do. It's a bit expensive, but it will be my reward to myself if I finnish my studies this year without losing any credits. So there's my motivation Tongue

    Next summer I'm gonna go on a fun vacation, visiting a country I've never been to before. A new adventure!

    And one day before I turn 30, I'm gonna attend the carneval in Rio and dance my ass off. dance

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #122 - May 12, 2014, 10:20 PM
    Great list too, CF. Accomplishing any one of those things would be really awesome. And carnival in Rio just sounds insanely epic. Has anyone here ever been?
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #123 - May 12, 2014, 11:02 PM
    I'm planning on it.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #124 - May 12, 2014, 11:20 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on May 12, 2014, 10:20 PM
    Great list too, CF. Accomplishing any one of those things would be really awesome. And carnival in Rio just sounds insanely epic. Has anyone here ever been?

     

    I just googled the rio carnvial and it sound extremely bad ass. 

    It would be cool if we had an international CEMB forum meetup at a rio carnival.    grin12   


    *TDR adds Rio Carnival to his bucket list *
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #125 - May 12, 2014, 11:30 PM
    Oh I'm sure it lives up to its hype. All the videos I've seen of it just makes it seem essentially like what I would want a completely hedonistic jannah to be like, minus the robberies and occasional murders, of course.

    Brazil in general just seems like a place I need to go to even if only once.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #126 - May 12, 2014, 11:45 PM
    Quote from: TheDarkRebel on May 12, 2014, 11:20 PM


    I just googled the rio carnvial and it sound extremely bad ass. 

    It would be cool if we had an international CEMB forum meetup at a rio carnival.    grin12   


    *TDR adds Rio Carnival to his bucket list *


    Every summer in Coburg, Germany they host the European Samba Festival. Bands from all over the world, including Brazil are there and it is awesome!

    I used to play in a samba school in Manchester and it is one of the most fun things I have ever done. Lots of percussion which is right up my alley. We've played on the football pitch at Old Trafford once (for a rugby match, ironically). So, if Brazil is too far or out of your budget, check out the festival in Germany.   Lots of great music, energy, and scantily clad Samba dancers.
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #127 - May 13, 2014, 01:18 AM
    Quote from: happymurtad on May 12, 2014, 11:30 PM
    Oh I'm sure it lives up to its hype. All the videos I've seen of it just makes it seem essentially like what I would want a completely hedonistic jannah to be like, minus the robberies and occasional murders, of course.

    Brazil in general just seems like a place I need to go to even if only once.

     

    We need to start a separate thread with a list of large scale annual festivals like the rio festival, nuit blanche etc as well as cities in general we should try to visit at some point.

    Might be worth organizing which cities we should visit at various stages in our life. In my twenties and early thirties I want to hit the major party cities.       

    I know I also want to visit India at some point just because it is the land of my ancestors but that can wait after I'm done with the party cities.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #128 - May 13, 2014, 01:20 AM
    New Orleans might be an idea of somewhere to start as it's close to home. Mardi Gras looks fun,
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #129 - May 13, 2014, 01:28 AM
    That's a good idea for a thread, TDR.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #130 - May 13, 2014, 10:35 PM
    I know it's just an excuse to look weird and be naked, but I've always entertained the idea of getting elaborately done up and going to the Mermaid Parade...
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #131 - May 14, 2014, 06:03 PM
    Both men and women can do this, but attend a "pride" parade and cheer them on. Smiley
    Someday I'll make up my mind...then I'll have something profound to put here.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #132 - June 08, 2014, 10:46 PM
    Today I went to the park with the kids, and we started a game of tag. Some other kids joined in. Some parents joined in. Some teenagers joined in. Then it became a sort of parkour tag, because we had kid play equipment and a bunch of taller people. I am not tall. It was really hard to catch me. Adult men and teenage boys could not catch me, not running or jumping over stuff. I never, ever, would have done any of that as a Muslimah. It was not dignified, my scarf would have gotten messed up, my skirt would have gotten in the way, I would have fallen over loose pants at the hem. When I was in purdah, my muscles practically atrophied. I was a lump, I could not run, and stamina was a foreign concept. When the tallest guy made a concentrated effort to catch me for five minutes and could not, he proclaimed me a quick young woman and gave up.
    But see, I am older than him. By a significant amount of years. I am so glad I can enjoy my kids. Leaving Islam is one of the best things I have ever done for them.
    That was on my list, running at the park. I think I did one better.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #133 - June 08, 2014, 10:52 PM
    That is great three! I was always outside with the kiddo even as a Muslimah. We went everywhere, but the clothes were always in the way. Now,  I can run around and play hide and seek with her, we go on the swing together and climb trees. We even went and looked for some nice snails to collect. I could've done some of the stuff covered up, but it would've been a hassle and pain in the ass with all the redundant cloth hanging around and the damned niqab getting in the way.
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #134 - June 08, 2014, 10:55 PM
    That's beautiful, three! wacko Would you mind if I threw it up on the CEMB hits thread?
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #135 - June 08, 2014, 10:57 PM
    Yes, I tried to get outside, before, but their father didn't allow it much, and if I did more than sit or walk sedately, he screamed at me to get home and quit showing the world my body through my clothing. I should have worn a box, back then. That would have satisfied all requirements.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #136 - June 08, 2014, 10:58 PM
    Quote from: lua on June 08, 2014, 10:55 PM
    That's beautiful, three! wacko Would you mind if I threw it up on the CEMB hits thread?


    If you like! It's one of those things you never realize you are missing until you do it, so maybe it would be helpful to someone.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #137 - June 08, 2014, 11:13 PM
    - Go to lots and lots of concerts
    - Have a sleep-over at a friends place instead of a relative
    - travel with friends
    - travel solo
    - get a piercing
    - play volleybal/soccer on the beach with shorts and a tank top on
    - sleep outside/on the beach and watch the stars
    - enjoy a campfire
    - go to a karaokebar and sing!
    - wear sleeveless dresses
    - dress-up for a date
    - do a latin dance with some stranger at a restaurant in a latin country

    I just posted the things I haven't seen yet. I am taking dance classes, beginning in september. Can't wait!

    The future is full of thrilling possibilities.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #138 - June 08, 2014, 11:44 PM
    Quote from: three on June 08, 2014, 10:58 PM
    If you like! It's one of those things you never realize you are missing until you do it, so maybe it would be helpful to someone.


    I would! I always hear some Muslims, whether male or female, sort of sneer and talk so derisively when a criticism of women's dress/hijab comes up. Like, is how you dress really that important to you that you wouldn't veil and cover? Is it really that important to wear what you'd like? Or the colors that you like? Do you really need to feel totally comfortable? The sun on your back? Breeze on your skin? But that's such an oversimplification of it, it's almost a concept you can't fathom, that before and after, you know.

    But little stories like yours come close for me. Not to get too crazily sentimental, but to me those little moments are like the embodiment of being alive, when you're using your body, running and playing, bonding with people and loving them, being totally free and unrestricted. And it's so sad that we ever thought of trading that for a reward that will never come either way!

    As much as I can love and respect the Muslim friends/family members in my life, I think that will always get to me. I can nod and understand that place that the happy hijabi is coming from, and I know she's secure and glad and has a mind of her own and needs no pity, but I will feel it anyway, something inside of me will always make me want to look away from that veil. wacko
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #139 - June 09, 2014, 12:15 AM
    Quote
    I would! I always hear some Muslims, whether male or female, sort of sneer and talk so derisively when a criticism of women's dress/hijab comes up. Like, is how you dress really that important to you that you wouldn't veil and cover? Is it really that important to wear what you'd like? Or the colors that you like? Do you really need to feel totally comfortable? The sun on your back? Breeze on your skin? But that's such an oversimplification of it, it's almost a concept you can't fathom, that before and after, you know.

     

    Thats like saying do you really need to try out different types of food ?   

    Why can't you just pick a few foods and eat them for the rest of your life ?

    Or like saying do you really need friends ?  why can't you just talk to your family and be content with that ? 

    People like that have no idea how to live life to the fullest.  They have miserable lives and try to make others live miserable as well.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #140 - June 09, 2014, 12:26 AM
    Quote
    Or like saying do you really need friends ?  why can't you just talk to your family and be content with that ? 


    Yeah...I do actually know of some Muslim women whose husbands more or less said something like that to them. But in a "sweet" way. That he's their best friend now, he's all their friends, he's her brother, her father, the alpha and omega, so why do you need to go out tonight to see your friends?  Roll Eyes

    Quote
    They have miserable lives and try to make others live miserable as well.


    Or they are happy, because they think they're getting a good fucking deal. Just have to learn how to be happy with the veil and all of Islam's other restrictions, and then, in the end, you're going to get an eternity to recline in the shade in your thrones by riverbanks while your husband sleeps with his transparent monster wives (or, as is becoming more popular of an idea, as your husband politely declines his monster wives because he loves you so much). And you also get to escape the fire.

    I can believe that's real happiness. I remember being content. No one could tell me I wasn't satisfied, even happy in those days. But the problem was that the premise was a lie. Once you realize that, there's no happiness to be found in letting your only life drift away...
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #141 - June 09, 2014, 01:22 AM
    I was guilty of all kinds of "settling" thoughts.
    My husband might tell me what to do, but at least he doesn't hit me. Then when I got one who did that, at least not too often, or too hard, or when that was gone.. at least he lets me go to the store. At least he doesn't make me wear niqaab, at least I don't have to..
    And it was so easy. Because I knew women who had to endure all kinds of horrible stuff, much worse than I, because divorce is not an option in the portion of the Ummah I was in, and the misogyny was so pronounced, that women were basically the root of evil, and tolerated out of necessity for the sake of having children. It was to such an extent, that if I saw a woman I knew, and her husband showed her any attention in public, I thought it was a show. I couldn't trust what I saw with my eyes, I had become so suspicious.
    Finally I found myself in a corner, where what I was grateful for was a tiny bit of life allowed to me, and I couldn't let my kids grow up thinking a crumb was a big deal. I wanted them to have the whole enchilada, and to think they were entitled to it. I didn't want them to settle.
    Islam is set up like this, to me. The Quran is all about men, until women protested enough that there came a passage about believing men and women. One passage, in response, to prove that women were considered to be Muslim, too. And that was acceptable to me. I decided that was enough to prove my fears baseless, that Islam was an equal rights religion, and I settled. The Hadith and Surah about women needing Mahram to manage our affairs, ourselves? For our own protection. And I settled for that, too. Big time.
    An-Nissa, about being beaten? Well, that is only for bad women. Not for women such as us, not for good, believing women, and I settled for that. I sold out our "bad" sisters. I lost my soul.  I am probably not the only one. It is a shameful thing to look back on, it embarrasses me.
    I might not have explained this very well. Emotional topics are like that for me, not very cohesive. My apologies.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #142 - June 09, 2014, 02:06 AM
    I think you explained it perfectly. I know what you mean, and I am so glad that that's behind you, and I hope you don't keep feeling ashamed. You are definitely far from the only one.

    I was probably always in a much better situation than you were, but I still remember gradually losing that ground, and settling for less and less, and if you were selling out the women in worse positions than yours, I was betraying them and you and even more...

    It's a crazy thing, how complete this delusion can be. And once you start submitting, it's hard to get out of it, you're going to have walked too deep into the woods before you know it to easily stride right out. But I'm really happy we all got here.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #143 - June 09, 2014, 02:34 AM
    Well it's the mentality. No one will right out say women are evil, but that is the basic premise. The wicked temptress, the seducer, the one to look out for, corrupting our sons, leading us astray. Sending us to the fire just with a friendly smile. Women can't help it, they don't even know they do it. How they tempt us. It's their very nature, engrained into their DNA, all the way back to Eden, all the way back to Eve. Her and the serpent plotting behind Adam's back. Behind our back. The root of all evil.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #144 - June 09, 2014, 03:38 AM
    Actually, it was a common saying, where I was, that women were evil. I was lucky enough to hear it daily ¨woman fitnaḧ¨. Every story, every time a woman went out without her husband's permission, every story on the news about a woman being murdered. Always women were fitnah, an affliction, a trial. The root of evil. If a man went to jail, for sure a woman put him there. If a man was arrested for public intoxication, well, it was his wife that drove him to it. Men were gods, blameless perfection. I really hope it was just the families I knew, and not an entire community's attitude. Isolation alters perception.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #145 - June 09, 2014, 03:43 AM
    So the only thing I got wrong was no one admitting it?
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #146 - June 09, 2014, 09:23 AM
    Just continuing with my post and three's reply...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=EyS3weMlxLA
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #147 - June 09, 2014, 10:44 PM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on June 09, 2014, 03:43 AM
    So the only thing I got wrong was no one admitting it?


    Yes. And as far as the apologist public version of Islam is concerned, you got that right.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #148 - June 10, 2014, 02:15 AM
    Quote from: TheDarkRebel on June 09, 2014, 12:15 AM


    Thats like saying do you really need to try out different types of food ?   

    Why can't you just pick a few foods and eat them for the rest of your life ?

    Or like saying do you really need friends ?  why can't you just talk to your family and be content with that ? 

    People like that have no idea how to live life to the fullest.  They have miserable lives and try to make others live miserable as well.


    +1
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Ladies List of things to do after leaving Islam
     Reply #149 - June 10, 2014, 08:16 AM
    Wow, three. Your posts were really touching. Kudos to you for making it out of all that positions misogyny. I've noticed all societies heavy with any of the Abrahamic religions have the same "woman as evil temptress" mindset to widely varying degrees. It all started with Eve, after all. If you don't mind me asking, where are you from? 

    It seemed corny to me as a Muslimah how I wanted to feel the breeze in my hair, and not be immediately marked as a hijab-wearing devout Muslim with all the accompanying stereotypes and BS. Even in my final years/months as a Muslim, I felt like there was so much more to my identity than "religious Muslim girl", especially since I was no longer religious, and I hated the hijab for putting me in that box. And it made my face look fat, pins were a nightmare, etc. It just had to go Tongue

    http://i.imgur.com/IL5PCDX.jpg

    It's stuff like this that makes me cringe and kinda pity hijabis. They've internalized their objectification :( 
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