Awkward questions from a 5 yr old.

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- The Defiant
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Awkward questions from a 5 yr old.
OP - October 16, 2013, 09:55 PM

Just thought I'd share a recent conversation I had with my 5 year old boy on the topic of God. I'd also appreciate any advice on fielding these types of questions in the future, I generally apply a shamefully, hypocritical, cop-out strategy.
Conversation runs something along the lines of this...

Kid: "Daddy who's magic is the strongest, Wizard, witch, fairy... etc."
Me: "Wizard, then... etc"
Kid: "What about The God?"
Me: "That's different"
Kid: "What powers can The God do?"
Me: "Some people say he can do anything"
Kid: "Why can't he touch us?"
Me: "I don't think it works like that."
Kid: (Taunts God) "Turn on the oven little baby, laughs...Wasn't that funny?."
Me: "It's not a good idea to make jokes about God."
Kid: "I wasn't, why is it not good."
Me: "Some religious people get insulted...(cringes at this one) they think God might get angry....Look I don't know too much about it you'd have to ask religious people."
Kid: "Is Mummy religious?"
Me: "Yes"
Kid: "Why is she and your not?"
Me: "I didn't really learn much about this stuff growing up, Mummy's family are more religious, they read books about this sort of thing."
Kid: "Why are her family religious?"
Me: "Some people from different parts of the world are more religious than others."
Kid: "Daddy . . . I don't want to wear my rain suit today......"
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Reply #1 - October 16, 2013, 09:56 PM

I love your kid.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #2 - October 16, 2013, 09:59 PM

Me too.
Although he puts me to shame all to often with his uncompromising honesty.
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Reply #3 - October 16, 2013, 10:02 PM

Bless.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #4 - October 17, 2013, 01:12 AM

Quote from: Doubting Tomas on October 16, 2013, 09:55 PM
Just thought I'd share a recent conversation I had with my 5 year old boy on the topic of God. I'd also appreciate any advice on fielding these types of questions in the future, I generally apply a shamefully, hypocritical, cop-out strategy.
Conversation runs something along the lines of this...

Kid: "Daddy who's magic is the strongest, Wizard, witch, fairy... etc."
Me: "Wizard, then... etc"
Kid: "What about The God?"
Me: "That's different"
Kid: "What powers can The God do?"
Me: "Some people say he can do anything"
Kid: "Why can't he touch us?"
Me: "I don't think it works like that."
Kid: (Taunts God) "Turn on the oven little baby, laughs...Wasn't that funny?."
Me: "It's not a good idea to make jokes about God."
Kid: "I wasn't, why is it not good."
Me: "Some religious people get insulted...(cringes at this one) they think God might get angry....Look I don't know too much about it you'd have to ask religious people."
Kid: "Is Mummy religious?"
Me: "Yes"
Kid: "Why is she and your not?"
Me: "I didn't really learn much about this stuff growing up, Mummy's family are more religious, they read books about this sort of thing."
Kid: "Why are her family religious?"
Me: "Some people from different parts of the world are more religious than others."
Kid: "Daddy . . . I don't want to wear my rain suit today......"

I always tell my kids
"Some people believe..." and then I give them a couple of choices.
I do let them believe in God. But I make sure that they know that no one defines God, that God is personal to them and their relationship with God is their own.
Like God is their buddy that they can't see. I do tell them that not everyone believes in God.
Like most parents, I work with what comes up. I try to give the broadest response possible.

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Reply #5 - October 17, 2013, 01:27 AM

No man in the sky watching everything they do?

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #6 - October 17, 2013, 01:39 AM

I told my mother I was not taking my kids to this awesome Christian kid thing because I don't want them indoctrinated.
She said "So, do you have a problem with me, because I am Christian?"
I said "Are you going to threaten my children with hellfire and tell them someone is watching them?"
She said no.
I said " Are you going to convince them that God is vindictive and burns people and destroys towns and the like?"
She said no.
I told her, "since you don't even believe in that stuff, I don't see how you would be a threat to my kids. I don't care which religion you are today."
Big Brother is a very damaging concept, I think.

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Reply #7 - October 17, 2013, 01:56 AM

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #8 - October 18, 2013, 03:00 PM

Thanks for the input Three.
Yes I agree the "Some people believe" is a good line which I intend to work with but I fear it'll only get me so far the real question I'm dreading is ....."Daddy are you a muslim?"
Err emm, cough's and pulls at shirt collar.....
So I'm thinking and this is pretty lame...
"Well I said I'd go with your mother's religion before I married her because that was the rule in Mummy's religion before I could marry her.
So I told Mummy's family that I'm a muslim"
Kid, "But are you really daddy"
Cringes "Well yes I suppose so but I'm not really very religious and don't know much about it....some times I'm not sure about all this stuff and I wonder about it myself."
Hopefully plants seeds of doubt in child's head but not sure and pains me to tell him that I'm muslim.
The only reason I would say I am would be to keep the peace with his mother and stop the sh1t from hitting the fan back in her country if he ever repeated that I said I wasn't.
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Reply #9 - October 18, 2013, 03:50 PM

Quote from: Doubting Tomas on October 18, 2013, 03:00 PM
Thanks for the input Three.
Yes I agree the "Some people believe" is a good line which I intend to work with but I fear it'll only get me so far the real question I'm dreading is ....."Daddy are you a muslim?"
Err emm, cough's and pulls at shirt collar.....
So I'm thinking and this is pretty lame...
"Well I said I'd go with your mother's religion before I married her because that was the rule in Mummy's religion before I could marry her.
So I told Mummy's family that I'm a muslim"
Kid, "But are you really daddy"
Cringes "Well yes I suppose so but I'm not really very religious and don't know much about it....some times I'm not sure about all this stuff and I wonder about it myself."
Hopefully plants seeds of doubt in child's head but not sure and pains me to tell him that I'm muslim.
The only reason I would say I am would be to keep the peace with his mother and stop the sh1t from hitting the fan back in her country if he ever repeated that I said I wasn't.

It must be hard telling him this. I don't have kids of my own, but I can imagine the pain it would give you. I love your kid! I remember asking these same questions and hitting a dead end. You must be a very kind father

'My principal sin is doubt. I doubt everything, and am in doubt most of the time,' Levin said.
― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
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Reply #10 - October 18, 2013, 04:15 PM

I'm actually more curious about how his mum takes it.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #11 - October 18, 2013, 08:29 PM

Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on October 18, 2013, 04:15 PM
I'm actually more curious about how his mum takes it.

lol I always wondered why women take religion more seriously than men

Your kid is awesome
Quote from: Doubting Tomas on October 16, 2013, 09:55 PM

Me: "Some people say he can do anything"
Kid: "Why can't he touch us?"
Me: "I don't think it works like that."
Kid: (Taunts God) "Turn on the oven little baby, laughs...Wasn't that funny?."
Me: "It's not a good idea to make jokes about God."
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Reply #12 - October 18, 2013, 08:33 PM

Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on October 18, 2013, 04:15 PM
I'm actually more curious about how his mum takes it.

Well you'd better see his mum about that.

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Reply #13 - October 18, 2013, 09:04 PM

Quote from: INcePtion on October 18, 2013, 08:29 PM
lol I always wondered why women take religion more seriously than men

Obviously the women you know are very different to the ones I know.

Quote from: INcePtion on October 18, 2013, 08:29 PM
Your kid is awesome

If he were mine I'd be proud that he's asking questions and thinking rather than going "Baaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Also sit him down and explain it might hurt some people's feelings. Still curious as to how the mum is taking his mocking of her imaginary friend.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #14 - October 18, 2013, 11:50 PM

I like to answer questions indirectly with children. Sometimes the question they ask is not the question they are asking.
You could always answer the "Are you Muslim?" question with
I do believe in...
I believe in living a good life.
I believe in clean food and clean hands.
You end up telling the children what is good to do, or good to believe, but you don't label it.
You can also ask them a question back. Sometimes it distracts...

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Reply #15 - October 19, 2013, 02:47 AM

[quote author=osmanthus
:Well you'd better see his mum about that.

Lol Os, I didn't come here to discuss my sex life, if however QSE means her reaction to his questioning of God, well she actually wasn't around for that last discussion. So far he's been fobbed off with lines like "he's invisible, that's why you can't see him."
On the negative side he does have occasional almost Tourettes like outbursts of the Shadah every now and again, much to his mum's delight, I'm sure. That said he has no clue to the meaning of what he says.
My boy also thinks that God must have a hundred eyes , no no a thousand, because he can see us all, can't help thinking of a fly myself?
@ Three, any good replies for "Daddy, am I a muslim?" question. I'm sure this is coming soon. Would you do the old "Well do you think you are?" or some entirely different approach?
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Reply #16 - October 19, 2013, 02:53 AM

I would tell him it was up to him, what he wants to be.
I don't know how much trouble that would get him into with family, if he parrots it about.
You could tell him that he could be anything, he could be Spiderman.
That might put him on a whole new tangent.

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Reply #17 - October 19, 2013, 03:07 AM

Thanks Three, I'll see what I can do if it does come up, maybe I'll tell him he's a human being first and tell him after that as long as he's not hurting anyone, he can be what he likes.
I guess I'll have to play that one by ear, work with what I get as it comes up. I'll keep you posted on it.
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Reply #18 - October 19, 2013, 01:51 PM

Sure. Give him a hug for me!

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Reply #19 - October 19, 2013, 04:56 PM

I witnessed an argument between Christian and Muslim 5 yr olds about whether God likes the word hallelujah and so it begins

"Make anyone believe their own knowledge and logic is insufficient and you'll have a puppet susceptible to manipulation."
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Reply #20 - October 19, 2013, 04:56 PM

Get em while they're young I guess

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #21 - October 19, 2013, 05:13 PM

Quote from: Jibbs on October 19, 2013, 04:56 PM
I witnessed an argument between Christian and Muslim 5 yr olds about whether God likes the word hallelujah and so it begins

I went to a kid's birthday party last week in a public place, and there was a pack of little girls there in full Amira hijab. They were under six.

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Reply #22 - October 19, 2013, 05:16 PM

I saw something similar earlier this month. The thing with islam and gender when you compare it to western culture is that western culture teaches us that we're human first, male/female second. With islam it's male/female first, human second. Hence the gender related problems (and obsessions) in the islamic world.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #23 - October 19, 2013, 05:18 PM

Really, did you think Islam taught that women were human? Maybe you have been reading apologist literature.

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Reply #24 - October 19, 2013, 05:27 PM

Anyone with a bit of knowledge basically realises that if you compare men and women men are fully developed human beings, women aren't. At least that was my impression

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #25 - October 19, 2013, 06:08 PM

In practice, though, women end up property. The literature makes all these reminders of how women have rights (now I am rolling on the floor, laughing so hard at this irony that I vomit my lunch right through my nose), but in practice it does not translate.
Woman fitna. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I HEARD THAT ONE?

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Reply #26 - October 19, 2013, 06:19 PM

Well, you've left it behind

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #27 - October 19, 2013, 06:37 PM

Then why is it in my head?!!! I don't mean for you to answer that. I think I am having an off day. I have a cold.

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Reply #28 - October 19, 2013, 06:39 PM

No worries. It's not going to leave your system overnight.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #29 - October 19, 2013, 06:44 PM

How handy it would be to have an Islamic Extraction System. Removes all traces of submission in an hour! Satisfaction guaranteed! Refreshes and invigorates the individual's free will! Get yours, on sale now, at CEMB forum.

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