If I was pissed at my partner and was hit with a blade of grass or tapped with a toothpick, if I didn't want to punch them before I would then.
I know, right?
Such stupid ayat are a wonderful reason to leave Islam. However, if Muslims are seeking to normalize a contradictory version of Islam that marginalizes such a practice, then I wouldn't discourage them.
But I really am curious as to HOW these scholars came up with this explanation? I don't see any hadith except for Abu Dawud:
Narrated Abdullah ibn AbuDhubab: Iyas ibn Abdullah ibn AbuDhubab reported the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) as saying: Do not beat Allah's handmaidens, but when Umar came to the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: Women have become emboldened towards their husbands, he (the Prophet) gave permission to beat them. Then many women came round the family of the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) complaining against their husbands. So the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Many women have gone round Muhammad's family complaining against their husbands. They are not the best among you.
But Abu Dawud isn't the strongest narration, especially compared to Bukhari and Muslim. But there's also this hadith from Abu Dawud that sort of contradicts that one.
Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: A man will not be asked as to why he beat his wife.
Nothing makes sense.