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Theme Changer

 Topic: Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?

 (Read 66152 times)
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  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     OP - November 16, 2013, 03:18 PM
    This morning my son is eating hanar, I mean pomegranate, and he says "Mommy, when I am eating this, I need Turkish or Arabic music, could you switch the music for this, please?"

    You can take your kids out of Islam, out of the culture, but you can't take it out of them. Maybe they are still having as much trouble with it as I am, though this is not a stressful thing, to find the right music for your food.

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #1 - November 25, 2013, 06:19 PM
    Bare in mind the child is new to English, still fecking hilarious.

    Child 1: " That little boy shat on me"
     Me: *looks at child* "He did what?"
     Child 1: "He Shat on me"
     Me: "Sat on you?"
     Child 1: "Shat on me"
     Child 2: "He shout at her"
    Me: "OOhhh"
     
    Try holding your laughter when confronted with that!
    "Make anyone believe their own knowledge and logic is insufficient and you'll have a puppet susceptible to manipulation."
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #2 - November 26, 2013, 02:05 AM
    Awesome.

    When my kids were learning more English, they would sometimes mix up their sentences, and some of the words in the other language are words in English, but not very nice ones, as English.

    They would be swearing just like that.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #3 - November 26, 2013, 02:11 AM
    I used to pronounce fork as fuck. "Mum, can I have a fuck?" "Mum, can I have a clean fuck?"
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #4 - November 26, 2013, 08:13 PM
    ^^^Haha! So wrong, but funny!

    @ three what language do they speak, I don't mean to laugh at people learning English but its funny when they pronounce things as a bad word.
    "Make anyone believe their own knowledge and logic is insufficient and you'll have a puppet susceptible to manipulation."
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #5 - November 27, 2013, 02:00 AM
    It's a mountain language.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #6 - December 27, 2013, 12:02 AM
    Out of nowhere my son starts chanting aouzo billahi mina...y'all know the rest. Over a yo yo.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #7 - December 27, 2013, 12:11 AM
    Out of nowhere my son starts chanting aouzo billahi mina...y'all know the rest. Over a yo yo.  Huh?

    All hail the New Prophet who is receiving messages from Allah via yo-yo.
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #8 - December 27, 2013, 12:28 AM
    Quote from: Jedi on December 27, 2013, 12:11 AM
    Out of nowhere my son starts chanting aouzo billahi mina...y'all know the rest. Over a yo yo.  Huh?

    All hail the New Prophet who is receiving messages from Allah via yo-yo.


    What a relief. Better a New Prophet than a djinn in the yo yo.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #9 - December 30, 2013, 11:44 AM
    When I was a child I used to call Coke Pak Roll Eyes! I used to say something like this, "I want to have Pak."
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #10 - December 30, 2013, 12:09 PM
    Kiddo goes to a Muslim daycare (blaaaah) where they indoctrinate the kids that all muslims are "good and generous people". Whereas non-Muslims do not believe in allah, hence are immoral. But since I managed to pop out a girl who likes to think for herself, she came home and remarked "....but some Muslims aren't, and some non-Muslims are good. People are different, and everyone can choose if they are good or bad, you don't have to be Muslim". I was really proud of her that she realized this.
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #11 - December 30, 2013, 12:12 PM
    Awwwwww, bless. There's a heart-warming moment if ever there was one.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #12 - December 31, 2013, 03:27 AM
    Quote from: Cornflower on December 30, 2013, 12:09 PM
    Kiddo goes to a Muslim daycare (blaaaah) where they indoctrinate the kids that all muslims are "good and generous people". Whereas non-Muslims do not believe in allah, hence are immoral. But since I managed to pop out a girl who likes to think for herself, she came home and remarked "....but some Muslims aren't, and some non-Muslims are good. People are different, and everyone can choose if they are good or bad, you don't have to be Muslim". I was really proud of her that she realized this.


    What a sweetie. I told you before that girl is a thinker. She has great processing skills.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #13 - January 02, 2014, 01:56 AM
    "Mommy, this cake is way gooder than yours is."

    Me: But honey, I made that cake.

    "Oh."
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #14 - January 02, 2014, 04:34 AM
     Cheesy
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #15 - January 02, 2014, 10:50 PM
    My sister was listening to music today while doing her work out. She has very good taste in music by the way. Kiddo went and turned the volume up and came back, but obviously remembered one of my old lessons about listening to music. She looked at me with her big eyes and asked in her own sweet gingerly way "do you want to listen to this?". Do you want to listen to it, I asked her. "Yeah, I do", well then honey listen if you like it was my answer. She had this face of joy while she was watching her aunt doing pushups...
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #16 - January 04, 2014, 10:55 AM
    d'aaaww. Your daughter sounds adorable.

    Quote from: three on January 02, 2014, 01:56 AM
    "Mommy, this cake is way gooder than yours is."

    Me: But honey, I made that cake.

    "Oh."


     Cheesy
    "so now, if you leave (Allahu A?lam is you already have) what will u do??? go out and show ur body to all the men??? sleep with countless men?? maashaAllah if you think think this is freedom or womens right then may Allah guide you to that which is correct."
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #17 - January 07, 2014, 12:31 AM
    "Mommy, I found these crayons, in my imagination. They were in my imagination, so I could not have found them. I did find them, then, in a plastic bag."

    I have to write this down somewhere for keeps.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #18 - February 17, 2014, 02:40 AM
    "Mommy, what the heck does this say?"
    Me: "Honey, we don't say 'what the heck', we just ask the question of 'what does this say?'"
    "Okay Mommy. What the HELL does this say?"

    She is two.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #19 - February 17, 2014, 02:43 AM
    I like her.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #20 - February 17, 2014, 03:10 AM
    Me, too.
    Her childcare teacher says she is the female version of Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. But I don't watch it, so I don't know.
    But she will not allow anyone to sit in her chair. So it might be that.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #21 - February 17, 2014, 03:32 AM
     Cheesy
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #22 - March 15, 2014, 04:12 PM
    So I bought a flute for the kiddo to have fun with, maybe further encourage the artistry she so obviously is gifted with (don't care, mothers have the right to boast about their kids). She called her dad because she missed him, and in the spur of the moment, she told him "oh, mom bought a "secret" gift!". By the way, I never said to her it was a "secret", but after the last "music is haraaaam"-lecture he had with her, I think she realized it was not a good idea telling him about all the non-Muslim stuff we've engaged in lately. Anyway, not to make a short story any longer, I looked at her in panic but she was way ahead of me, and whispered "don't worry mom, I won't tell him. Don't worry!" and blinked at me. And then she continued talking about her new pens and crafts material, and all the little gifts she had crafted for him the next time they met.
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #23 - March 15, 2014, 04:28 PM
     Afro Cool kid. Already knows the program. Grin
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #24 - April 05, 2014, 03:16 AM
    Physical therapist: Squish it flat, like a pancake. What are your mother's pancakes like, does she make them very thin, or thick and fluffy?

    Son (busily squishing away): My mom's pancakes are really, really good!

    Me: That's my boy. Good answer. Keep it up, I'll pay you later.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #25 - April 05, 2014, 03:33 AM
     Cheesy

    I remember when my son was 5 years old, we were driving together and he said, "Daddy, when I get older I want to be a doctor." I said, "Well, that's great son. Being a doctor is a great way to help people. He said, "And they make a lot of money, too. Right, daddy?" "They sure do," I said. He looked at me seriously and said, "Like, how many bags do they make?"
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #26 - April 05, 2014, 09:08 AM
    Quote from: happymurtad on April 05, 2014, 03:33 AM
    He looked at me seriously and said, "Like, how many bags do they make?"


    Oh my God. That is so adorable. Grin
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #27 - April 05, 2014, 09:25 AM
    I was stood at a bus stop the other day with a bunch of people and infront of me was this disabled lady in a wheel chair waiting in the bus queue, infront of her was a mother with her small daughter, she turned to her mum and said very loud   " Mummy what is that FAT woman doing in that pram"  (stroller) to you americans.. It was so awful yet funny.. Ohh the mums red face..
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #28 - April 05, 2014, 09:42 AM
     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
     Reply #29 - April 10, 2014, 05:06 PM
    Quote from: wavering
    To paraphrase a certain Sith Lord, I guess my family would say "I find your lack of faith disturbing"


    I didn't want to derail his intro thread, but this reminded me my daughter once came across a Darth vader toy that would say that quote whenever you press its button. She was cracking up laughing about it, then started saying it to other people. Apparently, she thought it was saying "I find your wacko face disturbing!" For like a week she'd go up to people and be like, "I find your wacko face DISTURBING!"
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