Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?

Previous page 1 ... 4 5 6« Previous thread | Next thread »
- three
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #150 - September 30, 2015, 02:34 AM

I like it when my kids teach me. I look at them very seriously and tell them that they are right (when they are right), and then I thank them.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
- Pub Regular
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #151 - September 30, 2015, 02:47 AM

*bangs toe* "Mother-fucking shitting pissant son of a whore!"

Looks at small children: "What do we say kids?"

"Do as you say, not as you do."

"Good kids."

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- Cornflower
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #152 - December 21, 2015, 12:41 PM

So the kiddo asks why some men dress up like women. I explain it's because they like it, and also because they are entertainers. She's confused, entertain exactly how? I'm like, yo, Youtube parenting. She watches quietly, drops a comment how good they are at dancing and how impressed she by the fact they can move so good in those heels (ha! like mother like daughter). And before the show is even over, she's like "OK, turn it of I get it now. I said turn it off, I get it!" and walks away.

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
- Pub Regular
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #153 - December 21, 2015, 01:08 PM

I was encouraged to apply for a job as a drag queen on account of my singing after doing karaoke in a gay bar.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- Cornflower
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #154 - December 21, 2015, 01:10 PM

ohmygod why didn't you try it

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
- Pub Regular
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #155 - December 21, 2015, 01:12 PM

A few hours later after many more drinks I drunkenly tried the karaoke machine again, staggering around on the stage, mic in one hand, pint in the other. He was less enthusiastic after that.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- Cornflower
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #156 - December 21, 2015, 01:16 PM

Yeah but as a professional woman you don't drink during work

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
- Pub Regular
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #157 - December 21, 2015, 01:23 PM

With how I'd rock those heels, I'd never have to buy my own.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- Cornflower
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #158 - December 21, 2015, 01:27 PM

It seems being a woman, or at least a drag queen, has its perks. I don't have the looks to pull it off, but you would I'm sure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnhGJilScTs

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
- Pub Regular
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #159 - December 21, 2015, 01:34 PM

I was recently being told an amusing story by a mate of mine of how her tits kept her from being fined or arrested or something. Maybe i should see how I look in drag...

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- yeezevee
- Pub Regular
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #160 - December 21, 2015, 03:01 PM

All right this is really funny...

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-35149195

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rlS4ZT-kGE

this big kid is really funny

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
- Cornflower
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #161 - March 17, 2016, 08:29 AM

The kiddo has some serious existential issues it seems.

Eating breakfast, and somethimg is obviously going on with the kiddo.

Me: hey, watcha thinking about
Kiddo: *sigh* Never mind, you'd never get it even if I told you
M: come ooonnn, how do you know if you never tell me?
K:... ok so listen. What if our bacteria have a bacteria, and that bacteria has its own bacteria. And then it goes on and on forever. Like, what if we are just some bacteria inside a giant, and that giant is a bacteria inside something bigger?!
M:... heh, yeah. Isn't that kinda amazing?
K: *in an upset voice* No, that's terrible! I don't wanna be a bacteria!

Also, this morning, we kinda agreed that tears of joy are pretty amazing

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- gal_from_usa
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #162 - March 18, 2016, 08:15 AM

I've been thinking about some of the existential crises that I had when I was a kid...I remember the day that I learned that friendship means nothing and everyone will leave you....My brother was getting fitted for shoes, and he still wasn't talking at that point even tho he was like 3 1/2, and so it was always a pain to get him new shoes because he would make no indication about whether they were too small or too big or whatever. So I was playing with some other kid whose sibling was getting new shoes; as it was a kid's shoe store, they had a mini play area. Anyway, we did the little kid thing where we played for 10 minutes and decided we were best friends forever. I tried to set up a playdate with this other kid, because we're best friends now and all that, and our moms would have none of that. So I realized I would never see my BEST FRIEND ever again. The whole concept of friendship came crashing down and I was just all torn up about it, but I did what I always did--I kept a brave face and never let the younger kids in on how dark and disturbing the world is, but it really upset me. Even the chocolate covered pretzel that the store handed out after the shoe purchase didn't cheer me up.

On the plus side, I'm seeing my friend who is in her mid-30s go through that thing right now because a lot of her childhood friends are leaving her because they've grown apart, and I'm really thankful I got it out of the way at 6 instead of 36. Seems like it saved a lot of pain to get it over with early on.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
- three
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #163 - March 18, 2016, 11:12 AM

Well, I am just glad to see you. I had been wondering how you were doing of late.

But to stay on topic- my poor little girl has had all her best friends move away. She makes her besties at the daycare and then they move far away and not one of the parents has remained in touch and some have even given no warning at all that they would be relocating. So far she is proving resilient but it was really hard to watch the first few times.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- Cornflower
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #164 - February 19, 2019, 09:40 PM

Update from the kiddo (I hope this thread stays cuz so much of the kiddos verbal gems I had already forgotten about)

"There are so man things I love about having a young mom, but mostly because you'll last longer" oh, ok ._.

And then

"I like that you're not so serious and boring like other older parents. I love your silly earrings"

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- yeezevee
- Pub Regular
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #165 - February 21, 2019, 07:58 AM

I see some corn flower
Quote
Update from the kiddo (I hope this thread stays cuz so much of the kiddos verbal gems I had already forgotten about)

"There are so man things I love about having a young mom, but mostly because you'll last longer" oh, ok ._.

And then

"I like that you're not so serious and boring like other older parents. I love your silly earrings"

hi corn flower so glad to see you.... long time no see .. three is missing., if not on the forum, I wonder you guys both keep in touch as you two have little buds...

Whenever you have bit free time drop in., without folks like you guys the forum is just brutal and has no life beyond early Islamic history...

with best wishes to you and that chatty kiddo,, and'Let this new year bring all that wanted in life..
yeezevee

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
- three
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Funny things kids say, either funny ha ha or ?
Reply #166 - February 23, 2019, 03:42 AM

Na, I am not missing. It was the forum that was missing! I am one of the older moms and my daughter pats me reassuringly all the time and tells me she is not afraid of me dying anymore...

Don't let Hitler have the street.
Previous page 1 ... 4 5 6« Previous thread | Next thread »