Anxiety

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- Safi
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Anxiety
OP - December 22, 2013, 10:38 PM

I'm constantly anxious. I've always been shy but I've been getting worse in the last 3 years or so. It feels so stupid because I get in such a panic over little things that everyone else does fine. Like last month ago I had to get the door when my parents weren't able to and I started hyperventilating because I didn't know who it was. My mum ended up having to get it after a while but I've never felt like such an idiot. Other little things like if someone bumps against me I end up jumping out of my skin and people look at me like I'm some lunatic. When I was asked to read something in school I ended up leaving the classroom in tears. Anything out of my routine (Even just going somewhere new with my parents) I start panicking and I can't talk to strangers or look them in the eye.

Anyone else known anyone like this? I've never talked to anyone about this as I feel so embarrassed.
- bogart
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Reply #1 - December 22, 2013, 10:59 PM

I have struggle with anxiety for most of my life. When faced with such a situation I do breathing exercises while collecting my thoughts. What is causing my anxiety? Why do I feel this way? What can I do about it? Take a walk or sit in a quiet place while doing so as it helps. Once I am calmed down the source of my anxiety is never as bad as it first seems. I am able confront the causes and find a solution.
- Ishina
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Reply #2 - December 22, 2013, 11:19 PM

This is a decent resource: NHS Leaflets
NHS: Shyness and social anxiety

The good news is, most of this kind of anxiety naturally resolves itself as you get older or your situation changes. More good news is that it's actually very common, everyone feels it to some degree, and at various points in their life, so you're not abnormal or anything. Those links up there will have lots of small methods you can help yourself, but you might have to keep those methods up for a while before you start to see any benefit.

I'd recommend you speak to your GP (I'm assuming you are in UK?). People go to their GP for common colds and other superficial complaints. You are perfectly entitled to talk to your GP about a problem that is affecting your life much more than a common cold. Your doctor probably deals with someone with anxiety most days, so it's normal for them and they will know exactly what you need and where to get it. So you don't need to be embarrassed about the doctor or feel like you're wasting their time. It's part of their job description and general workload. If you feel that you might be anxious talking to your doctor, write your symptoms down before you go in and either refer to them or let the doctor read them. They might even give you a form to fill out anyway.

Different people will find different ways are better suited for them. Sometimes just talking about it helps. Sometimes you'll have to train yourself and work at it. Sometimes you might need a little extra help. It doesn't have to be as bad as it is now, though.

Too fucking busy, and vice versa.
- Safi
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Reply #3 - December 22, 2013, 11:26 PM

I'll give that a read.
- INcePtion
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Reply #4 - December 23, 2013, 06:31 PM

I've been through anxiety, but never had panic attacks. New people and new situations have always made me anxious.
There are so many things that you will have to do for the first time, you need to relax and breath in and out deeply!
Whenever you find yourself anxious, just think that it will go fine. No one is going to bite you!
Don't focus on your thoughts, just focus on your body sensations. Ask yourself " why am I being anxious on such a stupid thing? "
Consider the worst situation and tell yourself "I'll do it , life always goes on."
We learn through new experiences and don't think always about the future, most of the times we are anxious because our thoughts are always focused on the future rather than the present moment. Try just not to listen to your thoughts all the time
Live in the moment.
- three
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Reply #5 - December 24, 2013, 02:11 AM

When I left purdah, at first I felt like you do, around people, any people, all the time. It was very difficult. I had to get accustomed to strangers again, and then get over the paranoia I had about strangers.
I still have problems sometimes, especially when I am tired or I have to talk to a man on the phone about something personal or at least not work related.
But what helps the most is doing what makes you anxious. I think this is called cognitive behaviour therapy. This took me from wanting to run out of waiting rooms containing men, to barely noticing they are there. I can talk in front of them and everything, now. It will get better. Just practice, and if you are not ready to practice in real life, imagine it in your head over and over. I can't remember the technical term for that, but it works.
Don't be embarrassed. I am much older than you, and I have these problems.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- Safi
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Reply #6 - December 24, 2013, 09:29 PM

Thanks three. I like to idea of trying to force myself do what makes me anxious, but the trouble is that my family is still so strict on everything. If I did get the courage to try anything like getting friendly with guys at school or out out without wearing jilbab I'd instantly be in a load of trouble.
- three
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Reply #7 - December 24, 2013, 09:50 PM

Quote from: Safi on December 24, 2013, 09:29 PM
Thanks three. I like to idea of trying to force myself do what makes me anxious, but the trouble is that my family is still so strict on everything. If I did get the courage to try anything like getting friendly with guys at school or out out without wearing jilbab I'd instantly be in a load of trouble.

Go ahead and do it in your head. When you are watching television, imagine it is you in the character's role, your imagination is your freedom, use it for practice.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- moi
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Reply #8 - December 24, 2013, 11:03 PM

Quote
Symptoms of Religious Trauma Syndrome:

• Cognitive: Confusion, poor critical thinking ability, negative beliefs about self-ability & self-worth, black & white thinking, perfectionism, difficulty with decision-making

• Emotional: Depression, anxiety, anger, grief, loneliness, difficulty with pleasure, loss of meaning

• Social: Loss of social network, family rupture, social awkwardness, sexual difficulty, behind schedule on developmental tasks

• Cultural: Unfamiliarity with secular world; “fish out of water” feelings, difficulty belonging, information gaps (e.g. evolution, modern art, music)

Causes of Religious Trauma Syndrome:

Authoritarianism coupled with toxic theology which is received and reinforced at church, school, and home results in:

• Suppression of normal child development - cognitive, social, emotional, moral stages are arrested

• Damage to normal thinking and feeling abilities -information is limited and controlled; dysfunctional beliefs taught; independent thinking condemned; feelings condemned

• External locus of control – knowledge is revealed, not discovered; hierarchy of authority enforced; self not a reliable or good source

• Physical and sexual abuse – patriarchal power; unhealthy sexual views; punishment used as for discipline

Cycle of Abuse

The doctrines of original sin and eternal damnation cause the most psychological distress by creating the ultimate double bind. You are guilty and responsible, and face eternal punishment. Yet you have no ability to do anything about it.

You must conform to a mental test of “believing” in an external, unseen source for salvation, and maintain this state of belief until death. You cannot ever stop sinning altogether, so you must continue to confess and be forgiven, hoping that you have met the criteria despite complete lack of feedback about whether you will actually make it to heaven.

Salvation is not a free gift after all.....

http://journeyfree.org/rts/

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
- three
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Reply #9 - December 24, 2013, 11:11 PM

Thank you, that is so informative for me.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- moi
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Reply #10 - December 24, 2013, 11:31 PM

From site above, relating to comments in other thread

Quote
We have in our society an assumption that religion is for the most part benign or good for you. Therapists, like others, expect that if you stop believing, you just quit going to church, putting it in the same category as not believing in Santa Claus. Some people also consider religious beliefs childish, so you just grow out of them, simple as that. Therapists often don’t understand fundamentalism, and they even recommend spiritual practices as part of therapy. In general, people who have not survived an authoritarian fundamentalist indoctrination do not realize what a complete mind-rape it really is.

In the United States, we also treasure our bill of rights, our freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, and freedom of religion. This makes it extremely difficult to address a debilitating disorder like RTS without threatening the majority of Americans. Raising questions about toxic beliefs and abusive practices in religion seems to be violating a taboo. No one wants to be pointing fingers for fear of tampering with our precious freedoms. For therapists who don’t get it, parents who merely force church attendance aren’t exactly axe-murderers.

But this is the problem. Sanitizing religion makes it all the more insidious when it is toxic. For example, small children are biologically dependent on their adult caretakers; built into their survival mechanisms is a need to trust authority just to stay alive. Religious teachings take hold easily in their underdeveloped brains while the adults conveniently keep control. This continues generation after generation, as the religious meme complex reproduces itself, and masses of believers learn to value self-loathing and fear apocalypse.

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
- three
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Reply #11 - December 25, 2013, 01:30 AM

I had an interning psychologist tell me that it was a sign of instability, to walk away from Islam after a couple of decades.
I wasn't sure which of us was crazy, for a minute.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- Quod Sum Eris
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Reply #12 - December 25, 2013, 02:54 AM

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- Cornflower
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Reply #13 - December 25, 2013, 04:44 PM

Quote from: moi on December 24, 2013, 11:03 PM
http://journeyfree.org/rts/

THANK YOU! I have been looking for this website for a looong time now, I have discussed this on another forum (not ex-muslims, but people who have left other sects and cults, mainly JW). I think most people who have been involved with traditional mainstream Islam, especially salafi-inspired, suffers from numerous issues found on that list.

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- asbie
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Reply #14 - December 28, 2013, 05:50 AM

Quote from: three on December 25, 2013, 01:30 AM
I had an interning psychologist tell me that it was a sign of instability, to walk away from Islam after a couple of decades.
I wasn't sure which of us was crazy, for a minute.

Tell him to go fuck his father's goat, then start pissing on his face.

That'll show him who the crazy one is, oh wait that's not right...

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
- kutta
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Reply #15 - December 28, 2013, 07:22 AM

For me, it helps to realize that at the end of the day, thoughts that originate from other people are just neurons firing at each other that most likely will not have any effect in your life, unless you want it to be so. So, just stop caring about what other people think
- three
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Reply #16 - December 28, 2013, 01:04 PM

Quote from: asbie on December 28, 2013, 05:50 AM
Tell him to go fuck his father's goat, then start pissing on his face.

That'll show him who the crazy one is, oh wait that's not right...

You must have had an interesting night last night. Thanks for the laugh!

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- three
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Reply #17 - January 19, 2014, 04:16 AM

Here is some further information on anxiety, specifically panic attacks and PTSD anxiety symptoms (cortisol or adrenaline malfunction).

A psychologist informed me a few weeks ago that there are medications available to treat those of us who have stress hormone malfunctions (fight or flight).
Apparently, the one she referred to is a different class of medication, from those commonly used to treat hypertension (beta-blockers).
They are not anti-anxiety medications. Not anti-depressants or SSRIs or any of those tricky psychiatric drugs.
So, if you get a trigger, you do not reach a state of panic, your adrenaline does not kick in.
Another option.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- codehawk
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Reply #18 - January 19, 2014, 07:04 AM

Even im also feeling socially anxious since 2 years ago . Whenever im around a lot of people who are around my age then i feel like im going into panic attacks . Strangely if im around old people i get no such feeling and im in my cool self . Also if i am around people who i know i will never meet again after some time then also i feel no pressure . I only feel socially anxious when im around people i barely know but will be there in my life for sometime . I think it is because of my fear that people will think im some sort of a wierdo and talk about me behind my back . I try certain mental tricks to help me resolve my problem to an extent .
- PeTerDan
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Reply #19 - February 10, 2015, 07:29 AM

Hi guys, I’m just hoping that I could get some help, advice or suggestion in this thread. My alcoholic brother is also suffering from anxiety, but he wants to end it already, that’s why I’m trying my best to help him recover. I already made a thread about this, but I just got a few response, so I want to try it here. Is there anyone here already tried or have been undergo to some treatment program? I wanna know if it’s really work. I’ve already search some Alcohol rehab Treatment program that might help my brother, but I don’t get a good feedback from people who already tried it. If you guys know some alternative ways than treatment program, please let me know it. I will wait for your response guys, any suggestion or advice will really be truly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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