It is never easy living with parents as an adult. This becomes even more complicated and frustrating with desi parents. We cannot choose where and to whom we are born, but we can try to improve our situations through some careful and realistic planning.
Desi parents have this bizarre viewpoint that their children should be joined at the hip with them from birth until death. You are supposed to live, breathe, eat, sleep parents. Especially as a woman, eveything should revolve around them. It is "training" so that you are then passed from your father's house to your husband's house and then everything revolves around your husband, children and in laws. Since you have nothing else to live for, you then become just as obsessed with your children and try to live your life through them..... and the vicious cycle continues.
You are extremely fortunate to live in the UK - make the most of it.
We can't stop our parents from reacting negatively to our decisions and choices. They were brought up with a certain mindset and it is difficult for them to change at this stage. Realise that they will always find fault and feel disappointment no matter what you do. Unless you completely give up your individuality, they will never be satisfied. Such tactics are designed to make us feel guilty.
Feeling sad and guilty is normal because it has been drummed into us from infancy, but don't let your guilt stop you from achieving your goals.
Decide how you want your life to play out - complete education, get a good job, live independently, experience life to the fullest, travel etc...
Then make a lot of short term plans to reach your long term ones.
Sometimes a bit of frustration and restriction at the early stages can help us reap the benefits in later stages.
While you are living at home, your expenses are at a minimum. Try to save up as much as you can.
Focus on your education and gaining valuable work experience. Living on your own is the goal, but you might have to share a flat with other people for a few years.
Since your dad isn't outright trying to stop you from doing what you want, you just need to get used to his passive aggressiveness and negativity. Make as many friends as you can with liberal and positive minded people. Interacting with them regularly will help counteract the gloominess from your dad, otherwise you will also get sucked in and start to feel de-motivated.
It's hard and takes a lot of self-discipline, but little by little things will fall into place. You'll get a job, you'll save up enough money for a rental deposit, you'll share a flat, you'll meet new people and experience new things, you'll get promoted or find a better job, maybe you'll move out of London etc.. Things CAN and WILL get better.
You have a lot of opportunities in the UK and there are many laws and regulations in place to safeguard your fundamental rights and freedoms. Society in general is supportive of women being independent, unlike some other places.
So believe in yourself, stay positive and grab opportunities when they come your way. You can still enjoy life in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s ... everything doesn't have to happen right now
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It's true we tend to have a late start compared to those who grew up with liberal parents, but I say better late than never. Good luck
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