polygamy in "jannah" led me to leaving islam
Reply #112 - July 01, 2014, 05:40 PM
Dear exmuslimah
However painful and hurtful it may seem to you, you have to come to terms with the fact that you never were anything to your husband but a jilbab, niqab and a forehead that bowed down five times a day. That's the reality, and reality is a bitch sometimes. You often come across these "romantic" descriptions of a relationship between a Muslim man and woman, but they are nothing more than a farce. The minute the "supportive wife", "loving mother", "loyal friend" stops being Muslim, then that very minute you are no longer a wife, mother, friend, partner. You are none of those things, even though the only thing that has changed with you is that you no longer believe in a sky daddy. You are nothing more than an apostate, and allah has commanded the believers to chop of the apostate's head.
Think about that mindset, think about that perspective and view of other human beings. Apostates are to be killed, just because they no longer believe.
In Islam, you are never an individual. You are always part of a collective. And the most important collective you must be part of in order to even be viewed as a human, is for you to be Muslim. The moment you no longer identify as a Muslim, you become a de facto sub-human. This is what Islamic ideology and theology does with people, it's the hard truth.
Deal with it.
I know it may seems harsh for me to say all these things, and I don't want to come across as harsh towards you. But I was in the exact same situation a year ago, a year and a half ago, even right now in some sense. I was so devastated, that I just looked past all those years of verbal, psychological and emotional abuse. I even looked past the occasional sexual abuse I had to endure (yes, to me it was abuse, but to him it was only his marital rights). Perhaps your relationship with your husband isn't tainted with that type of abuse, but the relationship you two share right now at this moment is nothing but dysfunctional and a hazard for your health and well-being. I would say it is abusive. He is dissociating from you and treating you like garbage, because you no longer share the same belief in god. What else changed with you except that? Nothing. But he changed. He changed everything about your relationship.
You have so much to live for, to experience, to give to your daughters. Aren't you happy that your daughters won't ever be forced to comply with all those silly rules and restrictions put on women? Aren't you happy that you are no longer shackled down by the chains of religion and man, and can now enjoy life? Aren't you happy that you had this epiphany far sooner than me or a lot of other ex-Muslim woman, whether she be convert or non-convert, who wasted far more years on the shit that is Islam?
Be happy. Be very happy. And right now it may seem hard, it may seem as you are the loneliest person in the world. But you aren't. I'm not saying your feelings aren't real. They are. I feel as lonely as you. But one day, you might find that awesome girlfriend you can hang out with and talk about everything with. And she will love and cherish you for who you are, not what you are. One day you will go to all sorts of fun places and meet all sorts of interesting people. You will. And when you do, this painful episode in your life might seem as a lifetime ago, perhaps only a faint memory. One day you will find a partner once again who will share both sad and happy moments in life together with you. Someone who will still love you even when you continue to grow as a human being and individual.
Hold on to that hope, to that bright future you do have ahead of you. And say FUCK YOU to Islam, your Muslim "friends" and to your douche bag husband.
"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
Topic: polygamy in "jannah" led me to leaving islam