Rumor has it...

1« Previous thread | Next thread »
- Cornflower
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Rumor has it...
OP - February 20, 2014, 02:41 PM

So I officially left Islam the night I left my ex beginning of January, even though it may have took a couple of weeks before it dawned upon him that I have truly left the religion completely. However, it is first now that the rumors seem to have spread around. I guess it was when I met one of my old acquaintances and didn't say hello (well, neither did she but you know, I was "naked" according to her standards).

It is funny how people started sending me e-mails starting last week how they are worried blah blah blah and that there is nothing wrong with Islam, try to remember your yaqeen you used to have and the imaan and whatnot. So I just wanted to ask you guys, have you had any similar experiences and what did people say to you? I think this is all very interesting and wonder what goes through people's head, why are they so curious? What do you guys think?

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- TheDashingRabbit
- Politics and Literature Junkie
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Rumor has it...
Reply #1 - February 20, 2014, 02:48 PM

I'm still in the closet but i'll tell you one time where I let it slip by accident and a muslim guy who I only talked to like three times in the four years I knew him found out .

He messaged me asking me why i left the religion and how he wanted to clear any misconceptions I had. I ignored him and didn't reply.

Threats of suffering in jahannam followed.

In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
- Amoku
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Rumor has it...
Reply #2 - February 20, 2014, 03:19 PM

I was at a family gathering in London, my uncle said that the "stupid Jamaicans worship the rain"

I said "er, they do? I'm pretty sure they don't"

"No no, I have Jamaican customers, they do!"

I then said out loud "Well better than God, at least rain is real"

Thankfully only he heard me, but then he said "You've become silent, are you worried about what you said?"

He thought I was scared of god's retaliation at my blasphemy.

"No, I'm worried about stupidity that's all"

After that, I didn't even bother hiding it anymore.
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
- Pub Regular
- offline
Rumor has it...
Reply #3 - February 20, 2014, 10:24 PM

Are things going okay now that you're being honest?

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- Cornflower
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Rumor has it...
Reply #4 - February 20, 2014, 11:34 PM

I don't know how to define "OK" right now, my problems have just begun with custody and trying to be a supportive mother to my child. But at least I feel free and I don't have to feel shackled and suffocated. But it does feels uncomfortable that people are trying to "talk sense" to me. It's been everything from "you studied the deen, you are so privileged, how can you through away the truth" to "parents and partners leave us, but allah will never" and "I know that Islam can feel burdensome, but the problem is not Islam!". One of the more offensive was "I don't know what kind of problems you've had, but... ". It's as if I couldn't have left Islam because of intellectual reasons, the fault being with Islam. It's like, what do you want from me? Some of them I haven't had contact with for over a year. Those who I was more close to have been completely silent.

Personally, I truly believe that anytime a Muslim, especially those who have been viewed as "devout" with "yaqeen", leaves the religion, it makes people even more zealous and at the same time it makes them uncomfortable and insecure. Last time I heard about a woman leaving Islam, my friend dismissed it as "she doesn't know Islam, wallahi, we have studied the deen she has misunderstood everything". I wonder now, what they are talking about, how they are reasoning what made me leave. From what I've read in the e-mails it seems that people believe I left Islam because it was "hard" or because I had problems with my husband. They don't understand that I left my ex because I wasn't a Muslim anymore, not the other way around.

What I would want the most is that people just stopped talking about me and forgot I ever existed, they don't have to talk about me like I know they've done with other apostates before. I am happy that I am truly free now, and I feel both pity and contempt for the "sisters".

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
- Pub Regular
- offline
Rumor has it...
Reply #5 - February 21, 2014, 12:16 AM

Lol I was actually asking Amoku but your reply is good to.

I think it's actually rather simple. Islam is from god and thus perfect. One cannot understand islam and thin any less, let alone leave it. So it's always the fault of someone else. It's your fault because you don't understand it. It's your husbands fault for not teaching you. It's always the fault of something external. Reminds me of those battered women who keep returning to the abuser insisting no one understands him except you.

Islam is perfect. If you think otherwise it's never Islam's fault, always yours. May as well get used to it, because that isn't going to chance any time soon.

By the way, you know CEMB has a Skype group right? Want to join?

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- three
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Rumor has it...
Reply #6 - February 21, 2014, 01:36 AM

Battered women return due to cognitive dissonance, as well as Stockholm syndrome. The Stockholm does make you feel closer to the abuser than anyone else in your life. It is very intense.
I think definitely cognitive dissonance plays a part in this phenomena among believers, and the Quran reads like someone deliberately trying to instill Stockholm syndrome (Allah knows best, Allah is beneficent, Allah is merciful, Allah will condemn you to burn forever in hell if you denounce Him..) in a vulnerable person. This is a typical abuser pattern, there is love bombing, then dependence, then threats, to make it simple.
And this is how Islam is presented to potential converts, first the apologist literature, then the benefits of belief, then the unpleasant aspects and truth, threats if you turn away, and finally the dismissal of you, because if you do not believe, do not maintain your Iman after embracing the message, something is wrong with you...
That is my opinion.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- Cornflower
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Rumor has it...
Reply #7 - February 21, 2014, 08:31 AM

Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on February 21, 2014, 12:16 AM
Lol I was actually asking Amoku but your reply is good to.

Well now I just feel silly

Quote
By the way, you know CEMB has a Skype group right? Want to join?

I didn't know, would be interesting to join in at least once

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- Quod Sum Eris
- King of the
- Pub Regular
- offline
Rumor has it...
Reply #8 - February 21, 2014, 09:23 AM

Sweet, one of us has to add the other to Skype then I can add you. I'll PM you my details.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
1« Previous thread | Next thread »