How to get out of Poverty and Dependence in order to 'be myself'?

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- infinitefriend9
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
How to get out of Poverty and Dependence in order to 'be myself'?
OP - March 17, 2014, 12:02 PM

I am only living with my family because of their financial resources and feel
understandably off about it. I no longer feel like they're, emotionally, my
family and my life would be much much better (I've lived this scenario
for years now) if I met the right people and formed new relationships. I do not
want to work with the VAST MAJORITY of Muslims either because they do not
easily accept 'outsiders' and, despite the similarity in ethnic features, I am
definitely an odd one out.

To add to this, I am only a student so do not have any good sources of supplementary income. I've
tried investing and
doing other jobs but I either lose money, do not have the appropriate experience, there
are no part-time jobs or get no responses.
This is extremely depressing and makes me feel extremely vulnerable
, like a prey, because I am still imprisoned by my family's MONEY.

I really want to get out of this state (I know rationally that there
are many ways out and that the tragedy of this situation can be fixed easily)
but nobody yet has shown me the way. My family no longer really wants me
(they have arrogantly told me this and I have been financially blackmailed
as a persuasion to turn back to Islam) and I cannot just
walk up and discuss my situation with anyone; even therapists have to keep
a professional distance and cannot really fix the root cause of my problems.

On the brighter side, I do live in the UK (and 'protected' by the laws of the land)
and understand that there are people who will offer a helping hand
and nudge me in the right direction. I need to feel
secure again; to be able to live my ideals, which appear very far away due
to the limitations above, and to 'be myself' (like any free citizen)
without losing my income or being 'kicked out' prematurely.

I don't know what to expect by posting this, but I know that I really need to 'vent' this
out of my system.

Thank you
- lua
- Ex-Muslim
- Grossly Incandescent
- offline
How to get out of Poverty and Dependence in order to 'be myself'?
Reply #1 - March 17, 2014, 12:09 PM

I'm sorry to hear this.

Your situation isn't unique to religious conflicts, unfortunately, and I've known a couple people who have been in a similar situation before for other reasons in the family.

There is no easy fix, unfortunately. You are still young, so my best advice to you is to not let this worry you, and to find some compromise with your family for now. It may be hard to play along and to rely on him, but your life may be much harder if you do not exploit the resources you have at the moment.

You will be free to live your life as you'd like when you have a secure future, so let this be your primary concern. Just use your family, keep your head down, finish your education and get a job. And then, if you still want to, you can leave them all behind, and I promise you that once you're in your own situation and living by your own devices, you will so rarely spare a moment to think about the times you had to swallow your pride to get there.

I wish I could give more specific advice. Good luck, and keep your chin up.
- infinitefriend9
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
How to get out of Poverty and Dependence in order to 'be myself'?
Reply #2 - March 18, 2014, 09:25 PM

Any more advice?
- Sir Wankalot
- Pub Regular
- small, furry and brown
- offline
How to get out of Poverty and Dependence in order to 'be myself'?
Reply #3 - March 18, 2014, 10:37 PM

Achieving financial independence will take some time, careful planning, patience and perseverance.
If completing your education is dependent on funding from your family, is there a way to temporarily keep the peace so you can achieve this?
In the meantime, you can slowly build up some work experience via volunteering, part time jobs, placements etc. Try and save every penny you can.
Even if you can't live your life as freely as you'd like to at the moment, one day this will be possible. You will be able to move to a different city etc and have the chance to try new things and meet new people.
The challenge is to use your family's funding to your advantage until you are ready to break away on your own. Please try to stay positive. I know this can be hard and there will be ups and downs, but I'm sure you will be able to achieve your goals. You have many promising years ahead of you
- three
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
How to get out of Poverty and Dependence in order to 'be myself'?
Reply #4 - March 18, 2014, 11:13 PM

Living in poverty is well worth the freedom, if you are in an abusive situation. Better to be safe and find a way, than to be comfortable and driven insane.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
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