Do Muslim men influence Muslim women?s dress?
Reply #18 - March 31, 2014, 02:47 PM
I'm not sure exactly what your tutor thinks is wrong in your reasoning? This is how I see it, from what I know and from my own experience both as a very devout Muslim not wearing the Muslim attire, a devout Muslim wearing full coverage, an apostate wearing full coverage and now finally an apostate free to dress however she wants.
First of all, the Muslim attire for women is seen as an obligation within Muslim community in general. This is because theologically, if a woman does not cover everything except her face and hands (and in some cases the feet are exempted), she is sinning and there are specific religious texts describing horrific tortures that are exclusively for women making "wanton display". Already with this is mind, the question whether or not a Muslim woman wears the dress "out of free will" becomes complicated. How free can you be when you genuinely believe that you are threatened by an all-powerful supreme being if you do not conform to the norms of your religion/faith?
Secondly, as a Muslim dealing and socializing with the Muslim community, the pressure to wear Muslim dress is always present. Some experience it more than others, depending on how conservative the particular group is that you "belong" to or with whom you socialize. I come from a western European country and when I became a Muslim the question of hijab and niqab became immediately important. Sometimes I got brash and even insolent comments and "hints" and "advise" from my "sisters" about wearing hijab. "Where's your hijab, sister?" were rhetorical questions that were very common. Then you have all the looks and hints from your "brothers" of their disapproval. And I haven't even begun talking about relatives and family if you are born into a Muslim family. A lot of women here have talked about how hijab just became a "natural choice" made by the parents once they reached a certain age, after that it was inconceivable to take it off.
Thirdly, even if you haven't experienced that much of a pressure about your clothing but started wearing it "our of belief", if you would later on chose to change it (for example stop wearing the niqab, or start wearing regular skirts instead of abayas etc) or take it off completely, you would definitely face reaction from the community without a doubt. How many times have I encountered "sisters" who have done exactly that, and they talked about how people started gossiping and confronting her about her "loss of iman".
And this is where I come to another important note, and that is that a Muslim woman's worth, modesty, faith, devotion, all of it, lays in the way she dresses. If you see women in long dresses and hijabs all in black, a lot of Muslim (ESPECIALLY men I can tell you) go on like "Oh mashaallah, what sisters, may allah reward you". It gives the women status, they climb up the ladder of desirability on the marriage market as well as socially. She is a "good" Muslim and people would want to befriend her.
So yes, of course there are a lot of women who "chose" to wear the Muslim attire. I "chose" to wear it our of belief and faith (if I didn't, allah would torture me in hell. Of course I put it on), even though I did meet some pressure about my way of dressing. Even after putting on the niqab, when I decided to stop wearing gloves, I got comments about that choice. Hadn't I been a "I do whatever I want, fuck you" kind of person, I would have been pressured into putting them on again as I've seen a lot of women do. And they do that because they get scared of "doing something wrong". When I started wearing colorful hijabs and niqab, wearing colors that would be provocative for some (like red, purple and so on), I also received "advise" about my choices. It was not modest enough, you see. I drew attention to myself from men.
Finally, the most important thing I think often gets lost in these kind of discussions, and that is even if we assume that the woman was totally free to take her decision to cover herself, maybe even her face, the interesting question is what would the reactions be if she chose to take it off and would she even be allowed to do so? I wore the niqab for almost 7 years out of belief, but the day I said to my now ex-husband "I don't want to wear in anymore", it was out of the question that I could make that decision by myself. To take off the full hijab was even more taboo, that was not even on the map to discuss. And I would have been totally ostracized by my friends and community if I would have done that while still being a Muslim wanting to have contact with them.
"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
Topic: Do Muslim men influence Muslim women’s dress?