Dealing with severe feelings of trauma around family?

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- infinitefriend9
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Dealing with severe feelings of trauma around family?
OP - March 31, 2014, 08:39 AM

When they talk to me I feel like my heart is literally sinking and me instinctively wanting to say sorry even when
they act like complete prats that are borderline abusive. They really know how to say things to hurt me, make me
feel guilty and reduce my morale. Apparently I will be a 'failure' if I do not follow Islam.

What can I do to stop this from happening again? I no longer want
to allow them to have any psychological control over my life.

How do I replace them as much as possible? The relationship is simply not going to be work - I've been trying for 5 years. All I feel is 'this is wrong' when I approach them.
- Siunaa Maailmaa
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Dealing with severe feelings of trauma around family?
Reply #1 - April 01, 2014, 07:50 PM

Hi friend, how old are you?
If you're adult, maybe you should move away? Never turn your back to your family without possibility of forgiving because one day they might grow and progress, evolve. But if they don't love you without you believing in Islam, they're not your real family at the moment. I think your stuff must be hard but clinging to them is not going to be good if they just keep abusing you.
Best wishes, power and peace to you

I ask many stupid questions frequently.
I am curious, that's why I ask many questions.
I am overly curious, that's why I ask stupid questions.
I lack patience, that's why I ask frequently.
So forgive me and answer me
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Dealing with severe feelings of trauma around family?
Reply #2 - April 02, 2014, 09:48 AM

The sad fact is that sometimes we just don't get on with our parents. Some relationships are toxic. If it's been like this for so long I doubt there's anything you can do except get your independence. Focus on living your own life and forging good relations with those who care.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- billy
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Dealing with severe feelings of trauma around family?
Reply #3 - April 02, 2014, 10:01 AM

Hey friend, just posted a couple of articles written by an Exmuslim lady about dealing with disownment / pressure from family.

http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=26146.0

Can you work a strategy that simultaneously enables you to gain distance from them to be yourself, whilst doing the bare minimum neseccary to get them off your back?

At the end of the day, please do read the articles I just posted. You can do things to overcome this. On an immediate practical level, can you make an appointment with your doctor to discuss things? In the context of stress and depression its a medical reason to speak to them, but unloading to a person face to face can be cathartic

"we can smell traitors and country haters"

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God is Love.
Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
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