Forcing Islamic sayings

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- Xiis
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Forcing Islamic sayings
OP - May 02, 2014, 03:43 AM

Lately my mom and sister I guess have noticed that I dont say Inshallah, alhamdullilah etc like I used to. Every time some sort of Islamic saying comes into conversation I am singled out to repeat that shyt. Sister: Inshallah (for something or other), turns to me and says say inshallah. wtf!!!

I want to be like fug you for trying to force me to say things I dont believe and fug Islam too.

But I have to remind myself I am trying to keep a low profile till I have enough to leave.

I think my early questions and my lack of interest in all things Islamic (prayers, watching somali islamic tv, reading the quran, not taking the side of muslims when the news comes on etc) have been noted.

I casually mentioned trying to get another job part time and she went into a rant about how hoarding millions wont help in the after life and I shouldnt be stressing myself out etc. (I wish I had a million to hoard)

I acknowledged the need for a day off but told her I would have it and this would be only temporary. Anyways I don't need their approval it just came up in conversation.

Lately, it seems all our convos lead to some religious point which ends up in us disagreeing.

They seem to be getting more hard line or maybe just pretending to in order to scare me out of my doubts.

I feel so allergic to everything Islamic lately and I guess its starting to show.

Does anyone have problems trying to hide their real feelings? Finding yourself slipping from time to time?

I don't know how much more of this I can take without blabbing that its all bullshyt, telling them I think they're crazy, storming out of the house only to find myself on the side walk with no shoes, and regretting opening my big mouth.

Oh my Christopher Hitchens its a fihrrrrrrrrrrrr
- Mia
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Forcing Islamic sayings
Reply #1 - May 02, 2014, 06:25 AM

Quote
Every time some sort of Islamic saying comes into conversation I am singled out to repeat that shyt. Sister: Inshallah (for something or other), turns to me and says say inshallah.

I can't describe how many times I've experienced this. Out of my entire family, I'm always singled out because they've figured me out long ago. My family, particularly my father, always knew that I have zero interest in Islam even though I never rebelled against them.
As I got older, I would occasionally slip out some of my opinions or question my family which angers them. Sitting back, bottling these thoughts and biting your tongue is very tiring and frustrating. I'm surprised I never exploded... At the end, it's not worth it. They may always be blind and expressing your opinions will get yourself hurt.
- Qtian
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Forcing Islamic sayings
Reply #2 - May 02, 2014, 07:44 AM

I know exactly what you guys mean.
That used to piss me the fuck off.

My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
- Qtian
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Forcing Islamic sayings
Reply #3 - May 02, 2014, 07:46 AM

I also went through that "allergic" stage. Eventually, it got to the point where I couldn't force myself to be silent.

My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
- Cornflower
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Forcing Islamic sayings
Reply #4 - May 02, 2014, 08:13 AM

As you already figured out, they are doing this because they suspect you're not "with them". Perhaps they want you to "explode" and just come clean, it's much easier for them perhaps than if they were the one who got on the offensive (you could just deny).

To be honest, I don't know how some of our members can keep up the act and pretend to be Muslims for years and years. Even looking like a Muslim and doing all the "Muslim stuff" you're required. I attended one Salat al Eid and I was disgusted. I barely took myself through a year, and I was at the breaking point both mentally and physically. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that my ex was a crazy Islamist and I had to walk around in a tent, but still. I just wanted my freedom,start living life instead of being trapped in a prison.

Whatever you do, don't "come clean" until you know you can make it on your own. It'll spare you a lot of trouble. I tried to plan my escape from months, even though I realize now I should have done a lot more and in a very different way. But I'm glad that I had money in my bank account, a place to stay and school to go back to.

Next time they do it, you can ask them why. It's not sunnah or very Islamic to force others to repeat their invocations after them, and since it's not you who are saying "I'm gonna do this and this", it's not mandatory for you to pronounce the "inshallah". But do it in a non-confrontational way, and see how they react.

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- Qtian
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Forcing Islamic sayings
Reply #5 - May 02, 2014, 08:17 AM

Or, just tell them that it's bullshit and watch your mother & sister label you as being "mentally ill" lol.

My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
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Forcing Islamic sayings
Reply #6 - May 02, 2014, 08:54 AM

The same shit pisses me off too.

Whenever I achieve something my wife makes me give credit to the big SWT.

Whenever I plan something my wife pushes me to say inshallah

The only way I was able to cope with it was to turn it into a phrase I say for the hell of it.
Getting over the mental side of living in the closet is harder than it looks.

A perfectly just God who sentences his imperfect creation to infinite punishment for finite sins is impossible
- Qtian
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Forcing Islamic sayings
Reply #7 - May 02, 2014, 08:55 AM

The worst I experienced was being forced to eat/drink with your right hand... when I prefer to do so with my left.

My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
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