A lot of ex-something have irrational fear of the hereafter, despite intelectually not believing in it. I know of ex-JW who still 10-15 years after their apostasy have nightmares of Ahrmageddon. Since my apostasy came gradually, almost "sneaking", over the course of several years (without me or anyone else really noticing), the whole god-thing and jahannam was so over-played when finally just dropping everything, that I just found it silly. Maybe that's why people saw my ridda as so dramatic "out of nowhere". Had they known what was going on inside they would've known better. I'm the type of person who keeps on going till the very end, for better or worse
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