This is something that has been bothering me for a long time. As a muslim this was clearly wrong, in many religions and cultures it is wrong as well.
Now I come from an indian culture, where sex before marriage is shocking so it's wrong both culturally and religiously.
What plays on my mind is the fact that no one in m y family would have pre marital sex, not even the converts and if they had to find out I was it would be a huge disappointment and drama.
What exactly makes something right or wrong? If I feel there is nothing wrong with it and I'm fine with it but majority of my family is not fine with it then is it still right?
I am still struggling to accept that I could never be this good little indian girl, still amazes me how I could be SO different from the people around me
That is a strange situation to be in but not unlike mine and I am not Indian. My parents do accept that me and my boyfriend do sleep together but my mother isn't very happy about it. She was also embarrassed when my brother's girlfriend became pregnant out of wedlock, and was stressed about telling the great-grandparents. In that regard my parents are still quite traditional from a English Christian influenced POV.
Cause of this I had to debate with them a long time saying that I understood their POV but in actuality what is more important a piece of paper that doesn't say much or a 4 year relationship which has stood the test of long-distance and cultural barriers (he is Pakistani)? My mother isn't comfortable entirely about it still but has accepted that I am an adult and have made my decision.
Now if the above conversation is not possible in your household you may have to be like my boyfriend. His parents know about me but don't at least to my understanding acknowledge any type of sex-life we have. They either think he's still a virgin or just don't talk about it. It has caused issues as when visit where they live I can't stay at his, I have to stay at my dad's flat near where he works during the week. This means that I cannot be with my boyfriend overnight cutting down the time I can spend with him during those visits. Until we are married that will not change but at least it only impacts a couple of weeks a year now. Its one of those situations where you have to make the best of things even though they are crappy and not your fault and have to make compromises if you still want to have some support from your parents.
No matter what you pick though, its not wrong if it doesn't hurt you or the person you are doing things with even though you might be feeling guilty, I still feel a little guilty because of my mums attitude to it all. It's like I am failing her.
Topic: The topic of pre marital sex