Friday Khutbahs (Sermons)

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- Dr_Zhivago
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Friday Khutbahs (Sermons)
OP - June 06, 2014, 12:08 PM

For those who attend mosque on a Friday, what interesting sermons have you heard?
Due to unforeseen circumstances I found myself at mosque today and this was something I heard which I thought was quite funny.

"The imam says a man asked him why the kufaar (non-believers) are so rich and have everything and the muslims don't, surely Allah should be blessing the chosen people. The imam then told him him Allah has blessed the kufaar with abundance on earth because all that awaits them in the akhira (afterlife) is Jahannam (hell) and the believer will be blessed with Jannah (heaven) for eternity, and upon going to the afterlife the kufaar will try and buy their way out of Jahannam but no amount of gold in this world will get them to Jannah."

I guess all the kufaar living in poverty will be wondering where the abundance of wealth in this world is for them.

So if you attend mosque and you have learned something new that tickles your funny bone, post it here
- lua
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Reply #1 - June 06, 2014, 01:33 PM

The one I went to for the longest time was very liberal, so nothing really out there. I can't remember any direct quotes, but the day I took my younger sister to the mosque (she was working for Afghanistan's embassy in Tokyo and wanted to learn more about Islam), the sermon was more or less a how-to guide for keeping your children from making friends of the opposite sex at school, and how to do the same as an adult at work. Some of the suggestions were ridiculous, and I could practically hear my outspoken liberal feminist sister's brain frying as we sat quietly on the carpet listening to all the fitnah that's going to happen if you are too polite to women at work.

On a more interesting note, my husband once told me that one of the mosques near his house had an imam who got in a huge amount of trouble for instructing the people to go home and make dua for God to destroy America many years ago.
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Reply #2 - June 06, 2014, 02:09 PM

Quote from: Dr_Zhivago on June 06, 2014, 12:08 PM
For those who attend mosque on a Friday, what interesting sermons have you heard?
Due to unforeseen circumstances I found myself at mosque today and this was something I heard which I thought was quite funny.

"The imam says a man asked him why the kufaar (non-believers) are so rich and have everything and the muslims don't, surely Allah should be blessing the chosen people. The imam then told him him Allah has blessed the kufaar with abundance on earth because all that awaits them in the akhira (afterlife) is Jahannam (hell) and the believer will be blessed with Jannah (heaven) for eternity, and upon going to the afterlife the kufaar will try and buy their way out of Jahannam but no amount of gold in this world will get them to Jannah."

I guess all the kufaar living in poverty will be wondering where the abundance of wealth in this world is for them.

So if you attend mosque and you have learned something new that tickles your funny bone, post it here

I see So

"Allah has blessed the kufaar with abundance on earth and Allah has blessed the believer with Jannah (heaven) for eternity after death "

So doc., next time if you see that Imam guy "TELL HIM TO JUMP OF THE CLIFF OR JUMP IN FRONT OF RUNNING TRAIN " to go allah heaven .. The Jannah.., such fools should die ASAP to go to that eternal death

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
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Reply #3 - June 06, 2014, 02:17 PM

Quote from: lua on June 06, 2014, 01:33 PM

The one I went to for the longest time was very liberal, so nothing really out there. I can't remember any direct quotes, but the day I took my younger sister to the mosque (she was working for Afghanistan's embassy in Tokyo and wanted to learn more about Islam), the sermon was more or less a how-to guide for keeping your children from making friends of the opposite sex at school, and how to do the same as an adult at work. Some of the suggestions were ridiculous, and I could practically hear my outspoken liberal feminist sister's brain frying as we sat quietly on the carpet listening to all the fitnah that's going to happen if you are too polite to women at work.

On a more interesting note, my husband once told me that one of the mosques near his house had an imam who got in a huge amount of trouble for instructing the people to go home and make dua for God to destroy America many years ago.

You took a feminist to a mosque?

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- lua
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Reply #4 - June 06, 2014, 02:29 PM

She asked!

We stopped at the gas station on the turnpike before the mosque, a couple old men hit on us both. I don't know if anyone else here will understand what I'm trying to say about this, but for me there's always something really weird about being hit on when you're covered. It's by completely different types of men and in a completely different way, in my experience.

My sister and I walked together to many places for years and never had this problem, but luck would have it that there was a man complimenting us and another older one grinning and kissing the air at the two hijabiis as a set when we were just trying to pay for gasoline. All in all, it was not a great introduction into Islam for her. It didn't provide very compelling evidence that she would be more respected and less harassed if she covered, and then the sermon had her struggling not to roll her eyes.

She thought hanging out with the women and with the kids on the carpet in her ~~bare feet~~ socks was cool, though.
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Reply #5 - June 06, 2014, 03:20 PM

Oh, they follow you around hoping to get a glimpse of your face when the wind catches your niqab, and then "humbly" approaching and asking "sister, are you married?".

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- lua
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Reply #6 - June 06, 2014, 03:26 PM

Thank God we have the veil to win us some respect!
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Reply #7 - June 06, 2014, 03:29 PM

Quote from: Cornflower on June 06, 2014, 03:20 PM
Oh, they follow you around hoping to get a glimpse of your face when the wind catches your niqab, and then "humbly" approaching and asking "sister, are you married?".

A real muslim gentlemen knows to send his mum over to the girl's mum's house to ask.

In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
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