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Theme Changer

 Poll

  • Question: Which Dawah person would you say gets the "So bad its Funny" award?  (Voting closed: June 21, 2014, 04:18 PM)
  • Hamza Tortoise - 2 (14.3%)
  • Adnan Rashid - 3 (21.4%)
  • Imran Ibn Mansur (Dawah Man) - 9 (64.3%)
  • Nouman Ali Khan - 0 (0%)
  • Total Voters: 14

 Topic: Funniest Dawah Artist

 (Read 21537 times)
  • 12 3 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     OP - June 11, 2014, 04:18 PM
    Any other suggestions- This should be interesting - I'd probably go for Adnan Rashid
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #1 - June 11, 2014, 04:41 PM
    i dont think Khan is that funny. Just really really annoying.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #2 - June 11, 2014, 04:49 PM
    It's definitely Dawahman. That guys comedic gold. He is the Rob Ford of murtad jokes. Granted, it is a bit sad to consider that the views he expresses are not part of some NBC comedy act but are instead his thought out and considered opinions about the world. But anyone who starts trying to convince me about the meaning of life by using the catchphrase "bang, bang, it's dawah time" is worth their weight in laughs.

    Thank you, Dawahman. You give me something to laugh about. I'm so sorry you are really a real person, though. My condolences.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #3 - June 11, 2014, 04:50 PM
    Dawahman is a walking joke. To quote from another thread:

    Quote from: deusvult on February 19, 2013, 05:14 AM
    Bang Bang It's Dawah Time has to be one of the worst mottos ever.


    HM, you just beat me to it! Grin
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #4 - June 11, 2014, 05:05 PM
    I was looking for the video where he talks about all the abuse he has suffered in the righteous path of Dawah, including mentioning how much we pick on him here and the divinely inspired Surat Dawahman, but I found this instead. It really is the perfect and unsettling blend of hilarity and sadness. You couldn't make these guys up if you wanted to.

    Quote
    I'm happy that I have the Noble Qur'an and that's where I get my rules
    And I'm happy that I have the sunnah that dictates what my life should do


     Cheesy Cry

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtiWstQo8uE
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #5 - June 11, 2014, 05:05 PM
    Nouman Ali Khan is not funny, he's depressing and scary.
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #6 - June 11, 2014, 05:07 PM
    The best comedy is unintentional comedy where the the object of derision is the one who tries hardest deride others but fails miserably.

    Perfect example:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLyKcpaVG4c
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #7 - June 11, 2014, 05:12 PM
    OMG I just came across this. Not Dawah but funny, nonetheless.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GB_kZ28oE3U&feature=youtu.be


     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
    19:46   <zizo>: hugs could pimp u into sex

    Quote from: yeezevee
    well I am neither ex-Muslim nor absolute 100% Non-Muslim.. I am fucking Zebra

  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #8 - June 11, 2014, 05:20 PM
    Wow. That is just begging for a murtad remix. Cheesy
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #9 - June 11, 2014, 05:33 PM
    Quote from: GodIsNotGreat on June 11, 2014, 05:12 PM
    OMG I just came across this. Not Dawah but funny, nonetheless.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GB_kZ28oE3U&feature=youtu.be


     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy


    there are no smileys that can encapsulate the cringe  wacko
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #10 - June 11, 2014, 05:42 PM
    According to his Facebook, He has just landed in Brazil and is on a Dawah Mission for the World Cup. Cheesy

    I really don't know where he's getting all of this money from- he's always going Canada every now and then - I'm Guessing he must be on benefits?! I am currently a university student - I work my balls of revising for exams, and find it hard buying a ticket from Durham to London every month - whereas this good for nothing tramp gets to tour the fucking world  finmad

    I wonder if he is foolish enough to go in to the favellas to give "Ghetto Dawah".
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #11 - June 11, 2014, 05:46 PM
    You're not one of those people who think those living on benefits sip century old wine from golden chalices while being driven around in limos are you?
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #12 - June 11, 2014, 06:01 PM
    Quote from: billy on June 11, 2014, 05:33 PM
    there are no smileys that can encapsulate the cringe  wacko

    "I wish we hugged"
    19:46   <zizo>: hugs could pimp u into sex

    Quote from: yeezevee
    well I am neither ex-Muslim nor absolute 100% Non-Muslim.. I am fucking Zebra

  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #13 - June 11, 2014, 06:11 PM
    I don't know who created this but it makes me laugh and cry at the same time:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrJc_gM_oW0

    Women are a resource.
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #14 - June 11, 2014, 06:16 PM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on June 11, 2014, 05:46 PM
    You're not one of those people who think those living on benefits sip century old wine from golden chalices while being driven around in limos are you?


    LOOL! Ok - I take that benefits comment back! I am still curious to know what his primary income is - after all Dawah is his full time occupation . Either he's using iERA money to fund his trip to Brazil, or his dad is some rich motherfucker (which I doubt), or he must make his income from some Dawah courses?!
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #15 - June 11, 2014, 06:20 PM
    Quote from: Jedi on June 11, 2014, 05:07 PM
    The best comedy is unintentional comedy where the the object of derision is the one who tries hardest deride others but fails miserably.

    Perfect example:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLyKcpaVG4c


    I think he got embarrassed and apologized for that video more recently, didn't he?
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #16 - June 11, 2014, 06:33 PM
    Quote from: Carefree on June 11, 2014, 06:16 PM
    LOOL! Ok - I take that benefits comment back! I am still curious to know what his primary income is - after all Dawah is his full time occupation . Either he's using iERA money to fund his trip to Brazil, or his dad is some rich motherfucker (which I doubt), or he must make his income from some Dawah courses?!


    That is something of a point - given the push from above to get as many benefits recepients off the books as possible (and the employment of all manner of sociopathic bastards in Jobcentres to make this happen), how many of these guys are actually on JSA or similar benefits?

    p.s. - Durham, eh? Lovely place, especially after exams...
    Before it gets too late, you will find escape.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #17 - June 11, 2014, 06:34 PM
    Quote from: lua on June 11, 2014, 06:20 PM
    I think he got embarrassed and apologized for that video more recently, didn't he?

    If he has a shred of decency.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #18 - June 11, 2014, 06:37 PM
    Quote from: Jedi on June 11, 2014, 06:11 PM
    I don't know who created this but it makes me laugh and cry at the same time:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrJc_gM_oW0

    Women are a resource.


    That video made me feel so validated and appreciated, Islam really gives women rights and freedoms subhaaanallat! I mean, what more can a Muslimah ask for than to know that you are the most precious possession a man can have in this world - as long as you are righteous, like obeying him and take care of the house and kids and not go outside or let a guest in to your (his) home without asking for permission Smiley
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #19 - June 11, 2014, 06:39 PM
    Also a field to plough.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #20 - June 11, 2014, 06:46 PM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on June 11, 2014, 06:34 PM
    If he has a shred of decency.


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1Bb1t3V6FU

    Well, it wasn't shame over realizing how reprehensible it is to tell young girls they'll bear some responsibility if they're raped, as much as it was him not understanding anything at all about rape and getting called out on his bad sources.

    It's commendable that he is pretty forthright about it, but obviously he didn't learn any other lesson from this other than to do more extensive research before he jumps in front of the camera next time.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #21 - June 11, 2014, 06:52 PM
    It's because the whole hijab doctrine perpetuates the idea that women have to take (full) responsible for being victims of sexual violence (except the sexual violence they experience in relationships behind closed doors - that sexual violence is the right of their husband)
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #22 - June 11, 2014, 06:52 PM
    I hope he never has a daughter.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #23 - June 11, 2014, 07:02 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on June 11, 2014, 06:52 PM
    It's because the whole hijab doctrine perpetuates the idea that women have to take (full) responsible for being victims of sexual violence (except the sexual violence they experience in relationships behind closed doors - that sexual violence is the right of their husband)


    He basically refuted centuries of classical and modern scholarly justification as to why hijab MUST be worn. The only other excuse that is left is...ALLAH COMMANDS IT.
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #24 - June 11, 2014, 07:05 PM
    Except he doesn't.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #25 - June 11, 2014, 07:13 PM
    What do you mean? The argument has always been revealing clothes is the reason for rape, ergo cover up and you are safe. Subhanallah!
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #26 - June 11, 2014, 07:15 PM
    You said hijab. Allah never said women should wear hijab. It's noticeably islamic nowadays in the sense it's associated with and primarily worn by muslims, but originally it wasn't.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #27 - June 11, 2014, 07:18 PM
    True Quod, whilst it's arguable as to whether Allah mentions hijab in the Quran the hadiths certainly do make significant reference to it. Furthermore, I referred to classical and modern (islamic) scholarly opinion as to why women should wear hijab.
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #28 - June 11, 2014, 07:25 PM
    Allah the wise and majestic, full of all sorts of smartness and wholesome goodness and radical holiness, says, "Hey  prophet, tell your wives, your daughters and the women who belong to the men who actually believe the stuff you say that they should draw their oversized garments over themselves. That is better so that they will be known and not molested."

    The reverse of that wise gem of heavenly hikmah is that if women don't cover themselves, they will somehow be unknown (still trying to figure that one out  Huh? , I suspect it has something to do with being known as slaves or not. Shh) and UNMOLESTED.

    So, if covering protects women from being molested, then not covering, it would follow, causes women to get molested.

    Either that, or the Qur'an must be wrong and the hijab must be pointless.

    What's that, Dawahman? You say the Qur'an can't be wrong? Ok then, it must be that.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #29 - June 11, 2014, 07:27 PM
    The closest I've seen is to dress modestly, and the most specific thing to cover were upper and first half of the lower body, actual specifications are to cover the breasts and cover your body to the knees or just below, some would also argue shoulders. I've never seen a hadith that actually says hijab.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • 12 3 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »