A warm welcome from me too Psiecton, i enjoyed your posts.. Yes like somebody mentioned above, you have made a lucky escape with regards to islamic marriage, dont get married until you have fulfilled all of your dreams and goals in life (unless you find someone like minded to share them with : ) if i could rewind back time i would sooo loved to have studied Physics too.. : ) all the best with it and i hope you enjoy the UK !
X
Thanks for the warm welcome suki!
I am just thinking that whenever we meet people and if there's mutual interest, why not go for it. Not sure how it would turn out to sustain a long-term relationship though, I think I need a man or a woman who will be equally interested or involved in some of my fields of interest, because sadly Physics seems to invade the mind during sleep as well
they should also consider that I am quite a spontaneous person, I can't do journals or schedules, and may want to do something completely random during the day (without disturbing the daily vital
Physics-time) etc, etc... I wonder if the guys who proposed to me were actually kidding that they're totally into a niqabi chick who does Physics.
Definitely seemed suspicious to me.
I am proud to welcome a woman like you
. Women talented in science are rare in my country. Here have a parrot, a rabbit and a pig for this-
.
Rubaya, thanks so much for your welcome. I think that it is not that women who are talented in science are rare by themselves, but it is the lack of opportunities for them to develop and express their scientific interests, as well as the Islamic ideology of a woman being exclusively
"created for the home, for the pleasure of the husband and to bear children", and I am quoting the "highly-esteemed" Muslim scholar Saaleh al-Fawzaan on this, these are his words. Indeed, what a miserable life it is to have a brain, to have intellect, but not being able to use it. It seems as if one of the foundational principles of Islam lies in the control of women, thus it is nearly impossible for women to truly thrive in STEM fields in a Muslim-majority country. There tends to be an equal amount of women and men in science when the education and promotion of science among women increases.
There's one curious observation, that from
my personal experience, engineers and scientists who were
mostly taught to have factual knowledge aren't benefiting from the scientific method at all, rather I think they're graduating from their respective fields without a full understanding in the scientific method. Creative and independent thinking fosters doubt, experimentation, challenging one's beliefs. They just go with what they know and don't even
consider tapping into further detail and the whole underlying framework of things. Thus even if science awareness increases, it must increase the awareness of the
scientific method and its application and not just factual knowledge.
Welcome to the forum, Psiecton. Reading your thread, I'm really thrilled that you never got married or your life would be so much more complicated. You are very young, and you are about to start a very exciting new chapter of your life abroad. Things with regards to your apostasy will start feeling normal soon, and with time you will laugh at yourself for ever fearing the concept of Hell.
Thanks so much, Naerys, for your encouraging words! I am anxious and excited and, ugh, well, this forum is quite a
godsend, otherwise I would be definitely struggling more, but I do realize that my experience is much easier than for those of you who were born into muslim families and I truly hope that I would be able to be helpful in any way those who had it much worse with their families. I had to live apart from my parents for 2 years before that due to family issues, when I returned I converted to Islam, so it caused a lot of tension, but they are happier to see me "back" than before. My conversion wasn't sudden, as before that I was "practicing" on-and-off and couldn't fully grasp the whole implementation of atheism (and how it is really just the realization of the scientific method).
The guys who proposed to me were saying that actually I should marry as soon as possible and everyone else from the women I knew said the same.
When I said that I want to do science and I am not sure how that would work out with a marriage and children, they said that my place is in the home and not in science. I was always struggling with letting go of my dream to do science and the idea of getting married, submitting fully to my husband and never going outside again. But I believed very strongly and tried as much as possible to "battle my soul".
I hope that if I ever meet a woman in a similar situation I would be able to help her with thinking critically about it. I knew of a 18 year-old woman who actually went to a Muslim country because a "person of Islamic knowledge" guaranteed that her life in a Muslim country would be so much better than in Europe. She went there without money, without anything, and ended up marrying him several months later because, well, basically she had no other choice, as she was a full-niqabi Salafi woman. When we spoke, she spoke of him as if she worshiped him, as if it was some kind of a cult.
"Everywhere he goes, all of the people love him", "it is impossible to not to love him" were her repetetive chants. Once she told me that "they" want me to be their second wife. When I disagreed, I got named a disbeliever, and that was actually done publicly. I was quite vocal then because I had an Islamic website and posted lots of stuff, and so my name and the declaration of takfir was all over the place
I was told that I am ungrateful to Allah for that proposal.
Later on I "diagnosed" that guy with narcissistic personality disorder. I hope they get help and will be able to live a healthy life eventually.
I do not mean to put anyone down by that, by the way. NPD is a serious condition, and he manifested very serious symptoms, however I am not a psychiatrist so obviously I am not being completely sure nor serious. It was very troubling, however, and I was very worried for their marriage personally. But that's my problem because I always want to save and help everyone and that could turn out to be more egoistic than it should be
What do they call 30 then?
Thanks for the welcome,
osmanthus! In UK/Ireland there's an age limit for school. After 18 you have to go to an adult center to graduate. The thing is that they offer really "poor" education as I definitely need at least a little bit of a strict and simulating environment to thrive in, as I am quite disorganized myself, but adult learning centers are more lax and there are more people into partying than studying in comparison with a science-inclined college.
Topic: Left Islam today and feeling afraid, need support...