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 Topic: The wedding Thread

 (Read 10491 times)
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • The wedding Thread
     OP - August 12, 2014, 11:46 PM
    Ok as a young guy I probably should be the last person in the world to be talking about weddings but since I've been dragged along to several weddings over the past few months I figured I'd create a thread about it.

    I hate traditional large indian or pakistani  weddings. Whenever I go to a wedding I am a stranger fulfilling a stupid social obligation and almost every time I honestly don't know the couple and couldn't care less about the fact that they are getting married.

    In my head I'm thinking " yeah..yeah your getting married now give me my food dammit I've been sitting here for over an hour!!! and you bastards don't even serve alcohol.  finmad   finmad "

    If I ever get married I will have a small intimate wedding (less than 80 guests in total) . I feel if a wedding is such an important step in a person's life is it not better to have a small wedding with only your closest friends and loved ones so you can spend quality time with each person.

    Plus then you will feel more comfortable and can truly be yourself instead of having to worry about the impression you are leaving on co workers, distant relatives and other people you don't connect with or feel comfortable around.

    Oh and just the idea of walking down an aisle/baquet hall with a ton of strangers staring and oohing and aahing and taking pictures just seems really weird to me.

    Oh and small weddings create more option to customize your wedding to your taste. I would prefer an outdoor summer wedding in a park with nice scenery and preferably a lake or waterfront or a beach. And I can have a memorable time with those closest to me and future-hypothetical Mrs. TDR.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #1 - August 12, 2014, 11:51 PM
    Although me not inviting my large extended family + my parents friends would be a surefire way to piss of the entire community I'm guessing that shouldn't be an issue since they will already stay away from me after my apostasy becomes public.

     
    Shorter weddings lists seem to be another benefit of leaving islam.  Grin   
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #2 - August 13, 2014, 12:06 AM
    Fuck weddings.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #3 - August 13, 2014, 12:08 AM
    I only honestly don't have many frineds at all. Five total - and that's stretching it. I wouldn't know who to invite.
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #4 - August 13, 2014, 12:10 AM
    WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU FIND 5 WHOLE FRIENDS?!?
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #5 - August 13, 2014, 12:11 AM
    At least one of them is a photoshopped picture made to look real, be honest please.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #6 - August 13, 2014, 12:43 AM
    Quote from: Jedi on August 13, 2014, 12:08 AM
    I only honestly don't have many frineds at all. Five total - and that's stretching it. I wouldn't know who to invite.

     

    I totally understand.

    I have one guy I would call a good friend. I've know him since my early teenage years so he's the closest friend. 

    Other than that I have other people I'm meeting in uni. I've chilled with those guys a few times but only one of them I have spent enough time with one on  one that I know him enough to consider him a friend.

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #7 - August 13, 2014, 12:45 AM
    Speaking of friends I think there is a specific period which I call a "bromance period" that needs to happen before the friendship can become solid.

    What I mean by that is that I need to chill with the guy several times on a somewhat regular basis just me and him one on one so I can get to know him on a deeper level. 

    After a month of two of "bromance" if we still both like spending time with each other I feel it means we have enough chemistry for a friendship to develop.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #8 - August 13, 2014, 02:49 AM
    One of my weddings had fifteen people in attendance!

    I could never plan out a wedding. I don't understand the rituals, nor the hype, though I do understand people who care about each other and the couple getting together and hanging out to celebrate.

    I really like potlucks, much better than the original tradition. Social media would make coordination a breeze.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #9 - August 13, 2014, 02:54 AM
    Marriage is Socialism between two people.
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #10 - August 13, 2014, 06:21 AM
    I hear Christians complain how boring their weddings are.
    They should come to a Pakistani wedding.

    Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #11 - August 13, 2014, 10:00 AM
    I cant wait for my own wedding. I would do it big and just the way I want. Wedding is about letting everyone know whos boss and showing them you have good taste and can throw a good party. More importantly, its your wedding so your music, your rituals, your food etc.

    Just need to find a willing lady.

    My sister got married recently and my brother is getting married in March. Both younger than me too.

  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #12 - August 13, 2014, 10:11 AM
    I am so over weddings. I only attend if I really have to, like the person getting married (or their parents) are really closely related to me. And even then. I have been to two weddings so far this year, and hated every minute of them. But then, I was invited to seven weddings, so that gives you an idea.

    Our weddings are probably very similar to Pakistani/Indian weddings: you invite everyone you have ever come across in your life, people you barely know, even people you hate. What is the frickin' point? Ideally wedding should be about the celebration of a union of two people, so only people they care about should be present, right? Nope, you have to invite the wife of the guy who manages the underground parking lot where you put your car, or you will have to answer for it.

    And don't get me started on the cost of the whole thing. Ugh!
    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #13 - August 13, 2014, 10:34 AM
    When my parents got wed there were only two other guests than me - my siblings. Done at the city council. Easy-peasy. Then we went home and ate some Danish pastries and drank tea.

    Atheist parents who rebelled against the church and the stale cultural traditions in their youth has its benefits.

    Both my brothers and their spouses also went for civil unions. However their celebrations were a little more glamorous with select friends and family invited, champagne and snacks.
    Danish Never-Moose adopted by the kind people on the CEMB-forum
    Ex-Muslim chat (Unaffliated with CEMB). Safari users: Use "#ex-muslims" as the channel name. CEMB chat thread.
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #14 - August 13, 2014, 11:28 AM
    Quote from: three on August 13, 2014, 02:49 AM
    One of my weddings had fifteen people in attendance!


    Sounds nice and cozy.  grin12
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #15 - August 13, 2014, 11:50 AM
    It's a waste of money.
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #16 - August 13, 2014, 01:23 PM
    My wedding will be Western. It will be flashy but with a small number of people. There will be lots of music, dancing and special food (especially for me Grin). After all it will be MY big day grin12!

    By the way I am single and already looking for my wedding outfits! Talk about being weird piggy.
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #17 - August 13, 2014, 01:37 PM
    Quote from: Naerys on August 13, 2014, 10:11 AM

    Our weddings are probably very similar to Pakistani/Indian weddings: you invite everyone you have ever come across in your life, people you barely know, even people you hate. What is the frickin' point? .

    And don't get me started on the cost of the whole thing. Ugh!

     

    This. I mentioned this exact same thing to my parents and commented on how ridiculous I think it is but they insisted that you MUST invite everyone you know or else you come across as a horrible person.

    Honestly I think most pakistani weddings are more an excuse for the parents of the couple to throw a huge party and show off.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #18 - August 13, 2014, 02:49 PM
    Quote from: Rubaya on August 13, 2014, 01:23 PM
    By the way I am single and already looking for my wedding outfits! Talk about being weird piggy.


    Nah, a lot of people are like that. You would just die if you saw what I got married in. It had to be pulled out of my drawer and given a good cleaning with a lint roller. When I told her I had gotten married, my old roommate sighed dreamily and said, "You must have looked like Cinderella." Not quite! Grin
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #19 - August 13, 2014, 02:51 PM
    My wedding was tiny, it was in my parent's front room, and anyone from the UK knows that UK houses are tiny.

    Also only one of my friends was there, since I usually only have one friend at any given point in my life.  I had no one else to invite.  The other 20 odd people were my step mother's friends and my ex's sister in law and her mum, but not my ex's mum who didn't attend.

    All in all it was completely shit.  My sister on the other hand got married in Morocco with close to 500 people in attendance, and a massive street party after.

    I'm really glad now that my wedding was shit and cheap.  It was the dumbest decision I ever made, so no need to have burned a hole in my pocket (had to pay myself, used my dowry) over it all.

    Also TDR, I totally get where you are coming from about not enjoy being at weddings.

    I was so socially inept at other people's Moroccan weddings.  I never did the greet and kiss, and ask how the aunties, the uncles, the cousins, the this, or the that were doing, along with showering a tonne of god's blessing on their individual family members.

    I went for the food and the dancing, and would usually just wave and say hello in English, making them all hate me that much more.

    I'm going to my first English wedding next year though.  It's gonna suck, but I care for the bride who is an old friend of mine who is an awesome person all round, so I will tolerate the social awkwardness for her sake.

    If I ever fall in love and get married again, I want a beach wedding, or to be married under a willow tree, with only my closest friends (so that could be all of 5 people too) in attendance. 
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #20 - August 13, 2014, 03:15 PM
    Quote from: TheDarkRebel on August 13, 2014, 01:37 PM
    This. I mentioned this exact same thing to my parents and commented on how ridiculous I think it is but they insisted that you MUST invite everyone you know or else you come across as a horrible person.

    Honestly I think most pakistani weddings are more an excuse for the parents of the couple to throw a huge party and show off.


    Precisely. Like most things it's not about you, it's about the community.
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #21 - August 13, 2014, 03:31 PM
    Quote
    Precisely. Like most things it's not about you, it's about the community.

     

    Thats one thing I find really stupid about paki culture.

    OF COURSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THE BRIDE AND GROOM!

    the marriage ceremony should be a time for them to celebrate their relationship not for every family in the neighborhood to get a free plate of chicken biryani one night.

    If I'm going to spend hundreds of dollars to feed other people I'll donate the money to charity not waste it on random people I don't care about.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #22 - August 13, 2014, 04:03 PM
    My own wedding... Well, I'm not sure if it counts as one  Cheesy It was just us, his parents and brothers and brother's fiancée. A quick 15-minute ceremony at the registrar's office, then hot chocolate and cheesecake at the coffee shop across the street. A couple of days later my in-laws did throw us a small lunch party and invited some relatives that I like a lot.

    I am still hoping we will get a proper wedding, but it will be a very small affair, and mostly his friends, most of which have become mine over the years Smiley
    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #23 - August 13, 2014, 04:06 PM
    Quote from: TheDarkRebel on August 13, 2014, 03:31 PM


    Thats one thing I find really stupid about paki culture.

    OF COURSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THE BRIDE AND GROOM!

    the marriage ceremony should be a time for them to celebrate their relationship not for every family in the neighborhood to get a free plate of chicken biryani one night.

    If I'm going to spend hundreds of dollars to feed other people I'll donate the money to charity not waste it on random people I don't care about.


    Ya I agree.
    Imo the money that pakistani families spends on weddings , could be simply used to decrease the overall  poverty. Plus, marriage means children. An increase in the Pakistani population.
     Cheesy
    Seriously though, why are they so marriage-focused?


  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #24 - August 13, 2014, 04:08 PM
    Quote from: Naerys on August 13, 2014, 04:03 PM
    My own wedding... Well, I'm not sure if it counts as one  Cheesy It was just us, his parents and brothers and brother's fiancée. A quick 15-minute ceremony at the registrar's office, then hot chocolate and cheesecake at the coffee shop across the street. A couple of days later my in-laws did throw us a small lunch party and invited some relatives that I like a lot.

    I am still hoping we will get a proper wedding, but it will be a very small affair, and mostly his friends, most of which have become mine over the years Smiley


    Please tell me it will be viking themed?   dance
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #25 - August 13, 2014, 04:11 PM
    ^

    ooh even better make it a Game of Thrones themed wedding    dance 

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #26 - August 13, 2014, 04:12 PM
    But that means someone would have to die.   jawdrop
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #27 - August 13, 2014, 04:13 PM
     Cheesy
     Cheesy
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #28 - August 13, 2014, 04:16 PM
    Not if I enforce my strict no-Dothraki-allowed policy Cheesy
    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • The wedding Thread
     Reply #29 - August 13, 2014, 04:18 PM
    That didn't work for Joffrey.  Grin

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
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