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 Topic: 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC

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  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #30 - November 09, 2014, 03:46 PM
    When I was in Florence, Italy, with my high school (grade 12 - we were 17-19 years old) in '91 the girls - even when walking in large groups - were CONSTANTLY harassed by Italian men.

    I remember me and another male class mate meeting a group of 6-7 girls from the class in a corner of a plaza.

    They had - almost literally - circled the wagons and two of them were shivering out of fear and they had almost all tears in their eyes.

    They had never experienced anything like that. They had tried to walk down one of the streets from the plaza and they had given up and went back to the plaza and were now freaked out of the minds.

    I was not a big guy (then) but just me and my male class mate being with them made the harassment TOTALLY disappear. It wasn't there. At all.

    We had heard of harassment in Italy but none of us - well, the girls - were prepared for it being *THAT* overwhelming and void of any normal inter-gender social protocol from a north European perspective.

    After that episode we ganged up with another class from our high school also being there and made sure the girls who wanted to always had a couple of male class mates with them.

    A few girls from the other class were the type they would literally punch men in the face if they harassed them so they insisted on holding their own, apparently successfully.
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  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #31 - November 09, 2014, 03:52 PM
    Quote from: bogart on November 09, 2014, 03:32 PM
    Interesting stories Lua. These men are so different from myself I find their acts to be abnormal. Although I admit I am very shy so have never done anything like them in public. Heck building up towards even asking for a number take me awhile never mind asking a complete stranger for her number


    And that's what really sucks about it. If I knew that this guy who I engaged with was going to be one who threatened me, then I'd like to walk on by, or if I knew that this guy was a total asshole and has just been sitting there all day shouting at women, I wouldn't stress it too much.

    But then there's the guys who are super shy and forcing themselves to just get out of their comfort zone and ask a girl they think is cute out, and I'd feel like the biggest jerk in the world if I was aloof with them, and now, for obvious reasons, I have to reject them all, and it makes me feel terrible anyway. But it's hard not to get jaded if you deal with this all the time.

    I think everything would be a lot easier for everyone if we could remove the cultural perception that it's normal for a guy to stop and remark on every girl who walks by that he thinks is attractive, and that the girls now owe them acknowledgement and attention. Get those guys to chill the fuck out. That should help a lot.
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #32 - November 09, 2014, 03:56 PM
    Quote from: Cato on November 09, 2014, 03:39 PM
    also indirectly telling her that since you compliment her,you owe a number from her


    If I didn't have the clapping emoticon I'd use it. Yes!

    Edit: hate! Grin
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #33 - November 09, 2014, 03:59 PM
    Quote from: Jedi on November 09, 2014, 03:41 PM
    Where have all the romantics gone?


    Onto the next victim.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #34 - November 09, 2014, 04:01 PM
    I remember going on holiday in belgium with my friend and we entered a turkish community (nothing against turks Smiley ) to see a friend and i was surrounded by a bunch of teenage guys who kept touching my face coz they liked my makeup and one jumped on my back, arms wrapped around my neck ??   God knows why ?  i had to fight him off, my bag snapped and everything fell out onto the floor, he felt bad and picked up my belongings and then proceeded to tell me how impressed he was with my strength wacko anyways we had to run into this shop and wait for a taxi to take us out of there as the guys were waiting for us outside.. Pure craziness.. One of many weird encounters..  
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #35 - November 09, 2014, 04:09 PM
    Quote from: three on November 09, 2014, 03:59 PM
    Onto the next victim.


    Grin
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #36 - November 09, 2014, 04:10 PM
    suki, this is a short documentary by Belgian Sofia Peeters, on street harassment in Brussels, called "Femmes de la Rue" - women of the street.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLOi1W9X6z4
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  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #37 - November 09, 2014, 04:10 PM
    Holy shit Shocked  @suki


    I dont mind saying hi to someone, but I get pissed off when someone starts asking me questions. Once I was followed by a guy twice , to avoid him I had to change my route. He asked me if I had facebook, if I could give him my number and continued shouting at me.


  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #38 - November 09, 2014, 04:23 PM
    The actress in the original 10 hour video has gotten rape and death threats Shocked

    Reuters: Woman seen harassed on NYC streets in video gets rape threats.

    Also look at the comments on her Facebook-page.
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  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #39 - November 09, 2014, 04:44 PM
    The same experiment was done in Egypt years ago and had different results;

    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f48_1371408756

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBulb1veTzs
    http://www.youtube.com/captaindisguise
    http://captaindisguise.blogspot.com/
    http://dawahganda.blogspot.com/
    https://twitter.com/CaptainDG64

    "Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies" ~ Nietzsche
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #40 - November 09, 2014, 04:49 PM
    Jesus!

    Oh and hi Capt - good to see you  Afro
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #41 - November 09, 2014, 04:55 PM
    Quote from: Nikolaj on November 09, 2014, 04:10 PM
    suki, this is a short documentary by Belgian Sofia Peeters, on street harassment in Brussels, called "Femmes de la Rue" - women of the street.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLOi1W9X6z4


    Hey yeah, that video is terrible, we got heckled pretty much everywhere we went in belgium, we didn't expect it with being western europe, i wasn't sure what nationalities the guys were but at the time belgium was a pretty conseravtive country i guess so, not sure what it's like today and women dressed very plainly with outsized garments, so we got a lot of unwanted attention with our makeup and tight clothes that was the norm in the UK, even in the nightclubs the guys and girls barely mixed.  Things have probably changed since then..   : )

  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #42 - November 09, 2014, 05:05 PM
    I scratched an itch.



    The current "like" took me by surprise. It is from Roula Akkari - the sister of Ahmed Akkari. The Danish imam who was part in stirring up hate against Denmark in the Middle East back in the Muhammad cartoons day but since has rescinded and apologised and written a book about it. She took her headscarf off on her Facebook profile last year mysmilie_977
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  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #43 - November 09, 2014, 05:48 PM
    Strange how things change.  How are the muslim organization in Denmark? How are they reacting to Akkari? Was Akkari important?
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #44 - November 09, 2014, 06:56 PM
    A few days ago, there was a hashtag started called #DudesGreetingDudes. Check out some of the tweets on it. Also, this article summarizes it nicely: #DudesGreetingDudes Hilariously Proves Catcalling Isn't 'Just A Compliment'

    @ADumbFlowers
    Bro, I only asked you to smile, jeesh, you don't have to be such a male dog about it #dudesgreetingdudes

    @sweetmachineSP
    Damn, boy, you shouldn't be walking here alone looking like that #DudesGreetingDudes

    @elonjames
    "Yo son, son. 5 minutes. 5 minutes. I just wanna talk to you. You can't talk?" #DudesGreetingDudes

    @earthkwaque
    @elonjames Where you going so fast, bro? Can I walk with you? *eyes darting everywhere but face* #dudesgreetingdudes

    @TheCoolTeacher_
    Hey bruh! Hey! Hey! Excuse me! Hey! Hey bruh! Fam! Bruh! Dude! *continues following for 15 minutes* Hey fam! Hey! #DudesGreetingDudes

    @IntergalacticQ
    *Grabs a dudes arm as he walks pass* "Hold up why you moving so fast?...You in a hurry? Slow down Bruh" #DudesGreetingDudes

    @TheCoolTeacher_
    Bruh I can't COMPLIMENT you? I'm saying! *gets ignored* You know what? Fine! Those Jordans are scuffed anyway! #DudesGreetingDudes

    @KenSimonSays
    "Dude, smile. You look more manly when you smile." #DudesGreetingDudes
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #45 - November 09, 2014, 07:06 PM
    Also, here's more from the guy, Elon James, who started that hashtag:
    #DudesGreetingDudes Is One Guy’s Flawless Takedown Of Catcalling
    "If men are just making conversation when they talk to women on the street, then why don’t they say the same things to other men?"
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #46 - November 09, 2014, 07:18 PM
    How many of you have said 'hi' to a stranger?

    Hello.  Smiley
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #47 - November 09, 2014, 07:20 PM
    You mean repeatedly saying 'hi' to a stranger in multiple ways over and over and over and over again while the stranger walks away from you and is obviously uncomfortable at your relentless pursuit? Because that's what street harassment is, and that's what the video in the OP is about. And that, I'd say, I've never done. Most people know to say hi, if at all, and then to let it go if the other person is not responding in a positive way.
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #48 - November 09, 2014, 07:24 PM
    Quote from: allat on November 09, 2014, 06:56 PM
    @IntergalacticQ
    *Grabs a dudes arm as he walks pass* "Hold up why you moving so fast?...You in a hurry? Slow down Bruh" #DudesGreetingDudes



     Cheesy Cheesy

    These are awesome.
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #49 - November 09, 2014, 07:28 PM
    Quote from: allat on November 09, 2014, 07:20 PM
    You mean repeatedly saying 'hi' to a stranger in multiple ways over and over and over and over again while the stranger walks away from you and is obviously uncomfortable at your relentless pursuit? Because that's what street harassment is, and that's what the video in the OP is about. And that, I'd say, I've never done. Most people know to say hi, if at all, and then to let it go if the other person is not responding in a positive way.


    Not really. There was a mixture in that video.

    And I'm asking in general - has anyone said 'hi' to a stranger (op sex)?
    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #50 - November 09, 2014, 07:40 PM
    Whenever I make eye contact with someone I'm walking by and we're totally alone, I tend to say hello or good morning, like if we cross paths on a sidewalk, since it's awkward to just try not to look at each other as we get closer and pass by without acknowledging them. Or I'll at least smile.

    But I usually know the difference between a friendly hello and one that I wouldn't have been getting had I been a man. There's a huge difference in body language and tone.

    There's an old man working as a custodian at the university who beams and greets everyone who walks by and asks how they are and tells them to have a great day. That's a friendly fucking guy, and he is to everyone, the girls, the boys, professors, whoever is walking by. He's equally as interested in whether the nerdy guy shuffling by is having a good day as he is a pretty girl, and it's never occurred to me to be anything but appreciative of his friendliness. It's always respectful, not at all intrusive, and if he suspected it was unwelcome for anybody I'm sure he'd leave them alone immediately.
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #51 - November 09, 2014, 07:49 PM
    I usually only say hi to people I know, which is making it very difficult now as I know more and more people, so sometimes I have to try and avoid eye contact. If I'm walking by someone, even a stranger and we're the only ones there I feel like I have to acknowledge them, and say hi. I live in a school though, so maybe its different.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #52 - November 09, 2014, 07:51 PM
    Quote from: Jedi on November 09, 2014, 07:28 PM
    Not really. There was a mixture in that video.


    No. If it was a matter of simply saying 'hi', the video would not have gone viral. It went viral because tons of people related to it, because it's not just about saying 'hi'. It's about street harassment.

    Quote from: Jedi on November 09, 2014, 07:28 PM
    And I'm asking in general - has anyone said 'hi' to a stranger (op sex)?


    All the time. And most people, I'd say, men and women included, manage to do it without creeping out the other person. There is a percentage of men though who seem to believe harassing women on the street, or strangers in general, is the same as 'just saying hi'. It is not. In general, when the recipient of one's greeting doesn't return the greeting with enthusiasm, and the person continues to go after them, it is harassment, not 'saying hi'.
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #53 - November 09, 2014, 07:58 PM
    Quote from: lua on November 09, 2014, 07:40 PM
    Whenever I make eye contact with someone I'm walking by and we're totally alone, I tend to say hello or good morning, like if we cross paths on a sidewalk, since it's awkward to just try not to look at each other as we get closer and pass by without acknowledging them. Or I'll at least smile.

    But I usually know the difference between a friendly hello and one that I wouldn't have been getting had I been a man. There's a huge difference in body language and tone.

    There's an old man working as a custodian at the university who beams and greets everyone who walks by and asks how they are and tells them to have a great day. That's a friendly fucking guy, and he is to everyone, the girls, the boys, professors, whoever is walking by. He's equally as interested in whether the nerdy guy shuffling by is having a good day as he is a pretty girl, and it's never occurred to me to be anything but appreciative of his friendliness. It's always respectful, not at all intrusive, and if he suspected it was unwelcome for anybody I'm sure he'd leave them alone immediately.


    I think its the same with me. Although if its a pretty girl, especially one I haven't seen before, the volume control can get a bit wonky.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #54 - November 10, 2014, 10:27 AM
    Quote from: suki on November 09, 2014, 03:22 PM
    Naw, heckling a girl in the street is rude.. Smart guys will know how to introduce themselves properly and successfully  ; )



    agree!..................................some pick up lines? LOL
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #55 - November 10, 2014, 11:22 AM
    10 hours of walking in Mumbai:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPFdLWPJGck

    The comments seem to tell that Mumbai is relatively chill compared to Delhi and other Indian cities.
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  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #56 - November 10, 2014, 11:32 AM
    Quote from: PeTerDan on November 10, 2014, 10:27 AM

    agree!..................................some pick up lines? LOL


    Guys don't need cheesy chat up lines, just a genuine hello with a smile and a how are you, my name is etc..  : )
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #57 - November 10, 2014, 12:56 PM
    I only catcalls when I am on Roskilde Festival. And it is way more for giggles than for actually trying to pick anyone up. I would not know what to do if it worked anyway.

    "COME BACK! WE HAVE SHAVED BALLS!!!"

    "WOW LADIES YOU ARE REALLY CARRYING YOUR BREASTS WELL!"
    (That one actually seem to work well - intonation is key. You almost always get a smile and a "thank you" back grin12 )

    Stuff like that.

    Once we got a complain from a couple of girls because they had went by us many times and we had NOT shouted after them like we did "with every other girl!". They were very upset.

    Well, but that is Roskilde Festival.

    Sometimes the girls have the ovaries to actually come and talk to us. Then we invite them in for a few beer bongs and a chat. I love Roskilde Festival dance
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  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #58 - November 10, 2014, 01:51 PM
    Quote from: lua on November 09, 2014, 03:52 PM
    But then there's the guys who are super shy and forcing themselves to just get out of their comfort zone and ask a girl they think is cute out, and I'd feel like the biggest jerk in the world if I was aloof with them,

     

    You don't need to feel bad even about the shy guys.   

    Unless they are super insecure about themselves they won't beat themselves over being ignored or rejection by someone.
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • 10 hours of walking with hijab in NYC
     Reply #59 - November 10, 2014, 03:39 PM
    Well, that I can't help. I've had too many shy guys as friends who get super anxious about even talking to a woman, and I try to encourage them to take some risks and speak to the girl they like, and I pray that women will let them down easy at least the first few times. Grin So when a guy who is clearly uncomfortable manages to ask me out, I will feel a little bit bad for disappointing them and definitely want to do it gently.
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