Guilt / Depression / Anxiety

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- Ri
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Guilt / Depression / Anxiety
OP - November 08, 2014, 01:24 PM

Since recently leaving Islam, I keep falling back into a hole where I feel anxious, guilty and depressed. I have not even did anything 'sinful' but the thoughts of doing so makes me feel bad. I believe everything is natural and the only sin is to waste your life away. But I just can't overcome the negative feelings about being told what are sins and what aren't as I grew up. I had a dream today where I lived my life as my parents wanted and I was really happy. I woke up and felt more guilt.

I'm also really scared for the day my parents find out. I fear that I'll end up alone and that I'll regret my decision.

✿ Bad news is: ✿
You cannot make people like, love, understand, validate,
accept, or be nice to you. You can't control them either.
✿ Good news is: ✿
It doesn't matter.
- three
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Reply #1 - November 08, 2014, 01:41 PM

I have met some people who lived their lives to please someone else. None of them are happy. They have happy moments, but they are overall not happy. Often they blame everything they are not happy about on their parents, or whoever they were trying to please. This creates a lot of resentment. You start out doing your parent's bidding out of love and you end up hating them for it.
You can have all the best intentions, but when you hand the reins of your life over to someone else, you reap the results of decisions that you never made. You have to live with that forever.
Take the responsibility to live your life by your own choices. If you are dependent on your parents, then choose your timing for when you are capable of independence. That is the safest route.
You did not ask to be born. You did not ask to be born intelligent. But this is now your life. You do not owe anyone else the control of it. Make your own mistakes, hold no one but yourself accountable for them. Also create your own successes, and take the credit for them.
The ever watching eye of Allah is a hard habit to break. Keep reading, and logic your way out of it. I have a habit of viewing things as halal and haram even when I know these are fabricated categories. It is a habit. Do not let it become a bludgeon you use to beat yourself with when you go to bed at night. There are entire successful and moral countries who do not recognize sin as we have. That is proof to me that it is a lie.
And go easy on yourself. Change is hard on a person. Give it some time, and be a friend to yourself during this transition.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- ExMuslimVlogGuy
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Reply #2 - December 02, 2015, 11:00 PM

When I'm dreaming and wake up in the middle of the night, I try to be as relaxed as possible so I can absorb the most happy thoughts.. It's a meditative state.. When we wake up from our sleep, I think the most positive emotions are able to come out. I think that only a fool will turn that opportunity into feeling negative.

Whatever positive emotion comes with you when you wake up, whatever dreams you want to make a reality, flow and go with it.

After I wake up, sometimes I start thinking about the negative emotions of "Man I'm far from being happy."

Recognize this feeling too, but always be happy. There's no point in fearing that you'll be alone, since the hard part of civilization is already done. No need to worry at all. There are many people like you in the world. They may have come from Ex-Christian backgrounds, or found religion to be stupid too.

Your parents just had sex and you came out. That's the reality. In Islam, DNA is made into this huge deal.. Ties of "family" and "kinship" and all this bullshit nonsense. You get to choose your own family in the world. Embrace that you might find a brother that is white, or a sister that is a hindu. Embrace the world and leave your past world behind.

I think what we fear most is the abundance this world has to offer because it's just... SO MUCH. There's so many opportunities to live our life and be happy that we think that we're made to live in this "Ex-Muslim" battered circle of living..

Your life just started. Start your journey to be happy. Life is short.

"If you don't like your religion's fundamentalists, then maybe there's something wrong with your religion's fundamentals."
"Demanding blind respect but not offering any respect in reciprocation is laughable."
"Let all the people in all the worlds be in peace."
- AGirlWithDoubts
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Reply #3 - December 03, 2015, 12:05 AM

Quote from: Ri on November 08, 2014, 01:24 PM
Since recently leaving Islam, I keep falling back into a hole where I feel anxious, guilty and depressed. I have not even did anything 'sinful' but the thoughts of doing so makes me feel bad. I believe everything is natural and the only sin is to waste your life away. But I just can't overcome the negative feelings about being told what are sins and what aren't as I grew up. I had a dream today where I lived my life as my parents wanted and I was really happy. I woke up and felt more guilt.

I'm also really scared for the day my parents find out. I fear that I'll end up alone and that I'll regret my decision.

Don't worry! The negative affects of constantly being in fear of committing sins will eventually wear off.

Is the root cause of your anxiety the fact that your parents will find out one day? Do you ever plan on telling them? If you do but are holding it off for a particular reason (such as financial dependence on them) then have a date or approximate time in mind when you will tell them. Once you have done that you can hopefully just put it on the shelf, as it's not an issue that you have to worry about now.
- Ri
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Reply #4 - February 01, 2016, 06:44 PM

Oh dear, what an old post!

Thankfully, the negative feelings have made their way out of my life.

✿ Bad news is: ✿
You cannot make people like, love, understand, validate,
accept, or be nice to you. You can't control them either.
✿ Good news is: ✿
It doesn't matter.
- yeezevee
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Reply #5 - February 01, 2016, 06:49 PM

Quote from: Ri on February 01, 2016, 06:44 PM
Oh dear, what an old post!

Thankfully, the negative feelings have made their way out of my life.

Hello Ri ... Ri wrote something like this

✿ Bad news is You cannot control things
that are not in your hand and are going bad
Good news is that we realized that It doesn't matter.✿ ........Ri
with best wishes
yeezevee

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
- Ri
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Reply #6 - February 01, 2016, 06:51 PM

✿ Bad news is: ✿
You cannot make people like, love, understand, validate,
accept, or be nice to you. You can't control them either.
✿ Good news is: ✿
It doesn't matter.
- Bolton34
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Guilt / Depression / Anxiety
Reply #7 - February 20, 2016, 03:31 PM

Quote from: three on November 08, 2014, 01:41 PM
I have met some people who lived their lives to please someone else. None of them are happy. They have happy moments, but they are overall not happy. Often they blame everything they are not happy about on their parents, or whoever they were trying to please. This creates a lot of resentment. You start out doing your parent's bidding out of love and you end up hating them for it.
You can have all the best intentions, but when you hand the reins of your life over to someone else, you reap the results of decisions that you never made. You have to live with that forever.
Take the responsibility to live your life by your own choices. If you are dependent on your parents, then choose your timing for when you are capable of independence. That is the safest route.
You did not ask to be born. You did not ask to be born intelligent. But this is now your life. You do not owe anyone else the control of it. Make your own mistakes, hold no one but yourself accountable for them. Also create your own successes, and take the credit for them.
The ever watching eye of Allah is a hard habit to break. Keep reading, and logic your way out of it. I have a habit of viewing things as halal and haram even when I know these are fabricated categories. It is a habit. Do not let it become a bludgeon you use to beat yourself with when you go to bed at night. There are entire successful and moral countries who do not recognize sin as we have. That is proof to me that it is a lie.
And go easy on yourself. Change is hard on a person. Give it some time, and be a friend to yourself during this transition.

This is one of the best things I've ever read, and it hits the nail on the head that when we're Muslim, we spend our lives trying to please someone else (namely an imaginary sky god).

I was wondering how to break the chains that Islam has forged into my mind lately... I hate saying "Bismilliah" or "alhamdhulilah". Muhammad's sky daddy isn't real, so why should he take the credit for things I've done right?? Or when things seem to line up??

Sometimes I find myself thinking "Aou-dhubillahi-minashaytaaniraheem" out of habit, and it irritates me because why would I believe in some evil genie's existence?? I stopped believing in Satan when I realised that the very things which led to rationality and logic are those which Islam condemns in order to keep you entrapped.

Everyone thinks we left religion overnight, but we didn't - it took months and years even though we fought to push it all to the back of our minds. It's good to remember that we won't be totally free overnight, too. We just have to work on it more.
- asbie
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Reply #8 - February 20, 2016, 03:33 PM

Quote from: Ri on February 01, 2016, 06:44 PM
Oh dear, what an old post!

Thankfully, the negative feelings have made their way out of my life.

Very happy to hear this Ri. Getting rid of those negative feelings will have a great impact on your life!

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
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