I have a problem

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- JH121
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I have a problem
OP - January 02, 2015, 10:59 PM

I told a friend of mine of my apostasy a few weeks ago. He's a nice guy and I figured he would be alright with it. His father is a participant in the ''Tablighi Jamaat'' and today he brought one of their guys over to talk to me (I don't think he's revealed my apostasy to those guys though), who invited me and him to Isha prayer and a talk at the local mosque. I didn't want to be rude so I said yes as I figured it couldn't hurt. So, after ''performing'' isha they had a talk from some young muslim Doctor chap. Just the usual religious bollocks which I spent the entire thing picking apart everything he said in my head.

I mistakenly assumed that when the talk was over we could all go home. Unfortunately that wasn't the case as we ended up going to my friend's father's house for dinner. At the dinner those guys seemed insistent that I come for breakfast and fajr prayer tomorrow, which believe me I do not want to do. I tried to back out but didn't want to seem rude.

Funny thing is, my mum went to my friend's house earlier today (our families are friends) for some kind of women's meeting, and being that my ma has a combination of a very big mouth and an exceptionally low intelligence, I wouldn't be surprised if she has gone and told all her asian women friends of my apostasy (I informed my folks not too long ago) and got them to bring these guys over for me.

I fear if this goes any further I will end up being pushed to join this movement, which I don't want to happen at all, since I consider it, a) a complete waste of time as I despise proselytisation/evangelism and b)very hypocritical since I'm preaching something I don't believe in. Trouble is those guys are such nice people that I just can't bring myself to be rude and turn them away, or reveal I am an apostate which will destroy their respect for me.

What should I do?
- cosmicdancer
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Reply #1 - January 02, 2015, 11:03 PM

Say you just had some doubts and they have now been answered. Thank them and say al-hamdulilah.

Note to others: Be VERY careful about who you tell, because even the bestest and most trustworthy friend will at one point whisper to someone and tell them not to tell anyone... then before you know it Shiekh al-Azhar is issuing a fatwa on you.
- JH121
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Reply #2 - January 02, 2015, 11:15 PM

Thanks Hassan. That is perhaps the best possible course of action.
- ElToro
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Reply #3 - January 03, 2015, 12:03 AM

I don't know if this will work. I think afterwards they want you to join their Jamaat. They will invite you to more events and more prayers.

You could ask your friend if his father really knows about your apostasy. I think you should say "No" and say that you want to focus on your studies, or something else.
- Mia
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Reply #4 - January 03, 2015, 02:16 AM

Sorry to hear about your troubles!
If you keep accepting their invitations, it makes you look interested and a possible active member so they'll continue to invite you. You need to learn how to say no, even if it may offend others. If your friend is considerate of your beliefs, explain how uncomfortable you feel about attending these meet-ups and he should always have your back. Hell, you can lie and make excuses whenever they ask.

Quote from: Abu Ali on January 02, 2015, 11:03 PM
Note to others: Be VERY careful about who you tell, because even the bestest and most trustworthy friend will at one point whisper to someone and tell them not to tell anyone... then before you know it Shiekh al-Azhar is issuing a fatwa on you.

I agree. If I ever wanted to open up to my family or Muslim friends about my apostasy, I would do it during a time when I'm financially and emotionally ready to run for my life if shit goes wrong. You seriously need to be careful.
- Jedi
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Reply #5 - January 03, 2015, 02:40 AM

Just go all Monty Python on them and say you thought that apostasy meant 'increased imaan' and that you thought apostate meant 'one who believes in Allah more than that other person does' and that you were tresting their loyalty to you and that they've proven and to reflect upon this newfound lvoe for you family and friends that you must spend your time meditating in private.

No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
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