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 Topic: I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!

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  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #90 - June 11, 2015, 10:02 PM
    http://alomshaha.com/portfolio/the-young-atheists-handbook/

    And this guy is Bangladeshi
    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #91 - June 12, 2015, 01:26 AM
    Jack, you are taller than I am. By quite a bit.
    Smarter, faster, taller, blah. None of that helps the guy with all those attributes, who misses his opportunity because he was looking in the mirror. You have good English, fast wit, and you are studying. Don't stop trying. Tenacity wins wars, timing changes lives. Don't be better or faster or smarter. Be the most observant. Look for the opening and jump through. Believe in yourself, not in looks or family ties. Believe you can do it. I believe you can.
    This is a good start you have made, by consulting people on the outside. Look for companies or agencies that can funnel you out when you have your degree in hand, or apply to universities in your target country after you get that degree.
    Don't stop and don't give up. Because if you give up then you certainly won't get anywhere.
    I have met people who have done what you want to do. If they can do it, so can you.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #92 - June 12, 2015, 06:34 PM
    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 11, 2015, 05:46 PM
    you are from south asia too? which country? how did you manage to earn enough cash to escape from there? business or job? would you mind telling me?

    I was actually raised in the UK. My parents came here from Pakistan. My dad moved here to get a decent education and job and did pretty well for himself. Many of my relatives moved here too, most don't have high paying jobs but you it's possible to live cheaply here (or on benefits... although with the current government that may not be so easy any more).

    Wish I could give you details about how they moved here but sadly we don't speak anymore due to my atheism. However, there is a very good sub on reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/iwantout) that can help give you some advice on how to move countries.

    Quote from: Doubting Tomas on June 11, 2015, 05:07 PM
    Well said Peruvian Skies and great to see you posting again. Afro


    I still lurk a fair bit here. But there's not much here that holds my interest these days, I think reddit has taken over my internet life lol. Although I still prefer this place to the exmuslim sub over there (probably because I know most people here).
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #93 - June 14, 2015, 08:18 AM
    thank you all for your support and advices. but I still dont know how I am going to get out of the mess I was born in. The cause of most of my problems is that I dont know how to talk to people. I am socially awkward and no matter how much I try to improve myself it just doesnt work for me. I just dont know what to say to people... even when someone says simple things like "hey hows it going" I dont know what to say. I feel like I dont know any words... I was afraid of people since I was born... I am not afraid of anything now but still have other problems...  I seem to have a negative aura surrounding me and people always avoid me.. I behave like an autistic... look like one too, except I have a small head, only 21 inch in circumference...   anyone here had similar problems? how did you solve them?
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #94 - June 14, 2015, 09:04 AM
    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 14, 2015, 08:18 AM
    I behave like an autistic... look like one too, except I have a small head, only 21 inch in circumference...   anyone here had similar problems? how did you solve them?


    People with autism don't have physical deformities that are inherently linked to their condition like people with down syndrome do, so head size isn't really related to it in any way. Phrenology is basically nonsense and head size doesn't seem to have any links to intelligence, abilities, or mental health. Almost every process you do in your brain uses multiple parts of the brain coordinating so you can't really point to one region and say "this is where x happens", just "this is where the visual (or auditory or tactile) part of doing x happens". I didn't read the whole thread so I don't know what part of the world you're from (sorry, feeling lazy and spaced out right now), but have you seen a well-trained professional?

    Anyway, even if you are autistic, don't worry, most of the symptoms can be greatly reduced, either with medication, therapy, or practice socializing. Watch out for pseudoscience, tho. Here's the website of the Autism Science Foundation, and they have a list of treatments that some quacks suggest that do not work at all and everyone should avoid.

    I have a mental health field degree, but I can't give diagnoses (and wouldn't give one online if I could). But if you need help finding a reputable mental health professional who could evaluate and assist you, inbox me. Even if you don't have autism, seeing a professional might help you deal with your feelings of despair and loss of purpose you mentioned in your original post.
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #95 - June 14, 2015, 09:13 AM
    Hi Jacktheexmuslim,

    I am sorry if I am a bit blunt here. I see quite a bit of negativity here that you need to turn around. Firstly, just forget about what others say or think about you or they would think or say about you when you interacted with them or said something to them. If this is something that could be limiting your confidence, just start trying to ignore that thought proactively, like telling yourselves in your head. A significant percentage of young people can have social awkwardness and they learn and develop skills a little later. It depends on the environment one is brought up in, the opportunities one had, neighbourhood, schooling, family, etc all can affect but there can be some element of anxiety as a personality trait that one might as well have. I was a teenager and am a father of two as well. I can assure you that it will all get better but you have to have a positive attitude and build more confidence about you. There are help group websites where people with similar issues help each other as there are several things which work for them and they share it. It could be some simple dietary or herbal stuff or relaxation therapies or depending on what is availabke in the region that you live in, some additional one to one counselling/CBT etc.
    I have been completely cornered twice in my life, once around your age and once in my late forties, just recently. I went through a negative period for some time on bith occasions but then somehow went into what I call 'survival mode' where you see a different more positive, more hard working, more selfish ( if I am happy, financially string and healthy, I will be of some use for others hence selfishness is OK), and you will see that you will surprise yourself. Each one of us has enormous potential beyond what we achieve, it is only that we lack self belief.
    So I would suggest, set a date and time that is  NOW, that I did on both occasions and switch on your survival mode. There is one life and this is your life. And only you can turn it around. Be as positive in your thoughts and attitude. Forget about what others say or would say. Find or create opportunities, however small, and see what you can do about helping social awkwardness, though I believe it would fade away if you changed to a more positive thinking. I tell my kids as well that you do not need many friends, just one good friend is better than many friends who are not going to be there for you. One caring sibling, one caring parent or one caring person is enough in any tough time in one's life. Mostly, one has to fight his or her fights himself and we all eventually fight them. The things one needs are the positive attitude and self belief.
    Good luck and all the best in all areas of your life.
    Every true faith is infallible. It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search - Neitchze
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #96 - June 14, 2015, 08:24 PM
    if you want a good laugh, watch this:

    Mod edit. Video removed.
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #97 - June 15, 2015, 08:59 AM
    I was wondering, do I look like a muslim?
    heres a pic:
    Mod edit: link removed.
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #98 - June 15, 2015, 09:46 AM
    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 15, 2015, 08:59 AM
    I was wondering, do I look like a muslim?
    heres a pic:
    Mod edit: link removed.


    That depends on what you mean by "look like a muslim". If you mean, "if I should happen go to Israel or Mississippi, might I be the victim of a hate crime," then: well, probably, but there's not much you can do about it. If you mean "might I be easily mistaken for a Saudi cleric if I went to an airport in Denmark," then I'd say, no, you don't.
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #99 - June 15, 2015, 09:59 AM
    You look better than you think you do.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #100 - June 15, 2015, 10:05 AM
    Quote from: galfromusa on June 15, 2015, 09:46 AM
    That depends on what you mean by "look like a muslim". If you mean, "if I should happen go to Israel or Mississippi, might I be the victim of a hate crime," then: well, probably, but there's not much you can do about it. If you mean "might I be easily mistaken for a Saudi cleric if I went to an airport in Denmark," then I'd say, no, you don't.

    oh no!!!! shit!!!! then suicide is my only option... I dont wanna look like a muslim.... when will plastic surgery be cheaper?Huh???
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #101 - June 15, 2015, 10:21 AM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on June 15, 2015, 09:59 AM
    You look better than you think you do.

    That was my reaction too.
    Which side are you on?
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #102 - June 15, 2015, 11:00 AM
    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 15, 2015, 10:05 AM
    oh no!!!! shit!!!! then suicide is my only option... I dont wanna look like a muslim.... when will plastic surgery be cheaper?Huh???


    There's a whole range of attitudes that lie somewhere in between somewhere like Israel or Mississippi and a place that has hardly any racism. Also, even if you weren't an ex-Muslim, that's no guarantee that you'd be immune to hate crimes. Like, I'm in America, and my professor in uni had a Hindu symbol on his car and it was attacked in an anti-Muslim act of violence. One time when I was in his class, we got news that a dude had entered a nearby building of a major TV network and taken hostages. The professor said "I hope it's not someone who looks like me." (It wasn't, turns out he was an "environmental militant" and thought humans were evil, especially babies, and should all be killed. The situation ended without any harm to the hostages when he was shot dead by police.) A Muslim friend of mine was recently the victim of a racist assault by a drunk guy who thought he was Hispanic.
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #103 - June 15, 2015, 03:00 PM
    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 15, 2015, 10:05 AM
    oh no!!!! shit!!!! then suicide is my only option... I dont wanna look like a muslim.... when will plastic surgery be cheaper?Huh???


    I think the way you look should be the least of your concerns if you want to successfully make it out of Bangladesh to a western country or what have you. There's nothing wrong with the way you look, and if you can do a job well and be useful people tend not to be too concerned with how you look. Which is more than fine in your case anyway.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #104 - June 15, 2015, 03:04 PM
    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 14, 2015, 08:24 PM
    if you want a good laugh, watch this:
    *video*


    This kind of thing isn't going to get a laugh among good society anywhere. IMO, its rather sick.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #105 - June 15, 2015, 10:13 PM
    You look like a normal young dude - stop stressing about what you look like!
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #106 - June 17, 2015, 01:15 PM
    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 15, 2015, 10:05 AM
    oh no!!!! shit!!!! then suicide is my only option... I dont wanna look like a muslim.... when will plastic surgery be cheaper?Huh???

    You're not going to escape racism/discrimination whatever you do. I've managed to get by pretty well while looking like a muslim, so don't concern yourself with that. It is irrelevant.

    Coming across as someone who has self-confidence issues usually does more harm to you. People pick up on it.

    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 14, 2015, 08:18 AM
    thank you all for your support and advices. but I still dont know how I am going to get out of the mess I was born in. The cause of most of my problems is that I dont know how to talk to people. I am socially awkward and no matter how much I try to improve myself it just doesnt work for me. I just dont know what to say to people... even when someone says simple things like "hey hows it going" I dont know what to say. I feel like I dont know any words... I was afraid of people since I was born... I am not afraid of anything now but still have other problems...  I seem to have a negative aura surrounding me and people always avoid me.. I behave like an autistic... look like one too, except I have a small head, only 21 inch in circumference...   anyone here had similar problems? how did you solve them?


    You need to learn how to interact with people. Not everyone gains these skills easily, and you are one of them (as am I). Books about body language and making friends will be very helpful for you. I'd also recommend reading up on how to conduct small talk with people. All of these areas have unspoken rules, and that is something you will need to study and practice.

    I've seen the book called How to Win Friends and Influence People being recommended a lot. Maybe start with that?

    As for autism, if you really feel you have it then maybe get diagnosed? It might help. If there's not much help available for you, then you may need to study it yourself and learn how others cope with it. I would recommend reading The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood. It is very easy to read and provides techniques in dealing with some of the issues that come with autism/aspergers.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #107 - June 17, 2015, 07:06 PM
    Quote from: asbie on June 15, 2015, 03:04 PM
    This kind of thing isn't going to get a laugh among good society anywhere. IMO, its rather sick.

    its just a parody. its meant to be kinda sick. i just wanted to share something with you people and if you dont like it... well then its fine have it your way...
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #108 - June 17, 2015, 08:13 PM
    Quote from: galfromusa on June 14, 2015, 09:04 AM
    People with autism don't have physical deformities that are inherently linked to their condition like people with down syndrome do, so head size isn't really related to it in any way. Phrenology is basically nonsense and head size doesn't seem to have any links to intelligence, abilities, or mental health.

    then why do most scientists have big heads? also most successful people I have seen have atleast about 24 inch heads..
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #109 - June 17, 2015, 08:16 PM
    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 17, 2015, 08:13 PM
    then why do most scientists have big heads?


    Evidence?

    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 17, 2015, 08:13 PM
    also most successful people I have seen have atleast about 23 inch heads..


    Did you measure their heads or are you just really good at guessing head size?

    btw 23 inches is the average male head size. Average female head size is about 22 inches.

    Sorry I don't understand your point?
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #110 - June 17, 2015, 08:27 PM
    sorry i typed 23 instead of 24
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #111 - June 17, 2015, 08:29 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on June 17, 2015, 08:16 PM
    Evidence?

    Did you measure their heads or are you just really good at guessing head size?

    btw 23 inches is the average male head size. Average female head size is about 22 inches.

    Sorry I don't understand your point?

    i dont have to guess anything.. i just look at their heads and they look a bit bigger than mine 21 inch so they must be between 23.5-24 inch
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #112 - June 17, 2015, 08:42 PM
    I am really sorry for wasting everyones time for replying to me.. I shouldnt have posted anything online... all of you are superior rich people from usa or uk... a poor inferior being like me doesnt belong here or have the right to waste your time... i should just die... with a tiny 21 inch head I wont be able to accomplish any thing in life and this world will be a much better place if I suicide... i was afraid of the pain of slitting my throat but I guess living as a loser like me is even more painful
    request to mods: delete this thread plz
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #113 - June 17, 2015, 08:43 PM
    You know it has never occurred to me to compare my own - nor other people's - head sizes.

    I'd say you worry to much about stuff that's really not important. I think you need to break this cycle of negative thinking. Much of it is just baseless (i.e most scientists have big heads).
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #114 - June 17, 2015, 08:50 PM
    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 17, 2015, 08:42 PM
    I am really sorry for wasting everyones time for replying to me.. I shouldnt have posted anything online... all of you are superior rich people from usa or uk... a poor inferior being like me doesnt belong here or have the right to waste your time... i should just die... with a tiny 21 inch head I wont be able to accomplish any thing in life and this world will be a much better place if I suicide... i was afraid of the pain of slitting my throat but I guess living as a loser like me is even more painful
    request to mods: delete this thread plz


    I think Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CGT) could help you break this cycle of negative thinking. There are some online resources if none are available locally.

    This might be a good place to start:

    http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/#.VYHc_lVViko
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #115 - June 17, 2015, 10:09 PM
    OK so let me go into more detail about why head size is meaningless as a measure of intelligence. The idea was first put forward by white supremacists as an "explanation" for why the "white race" was "superior"--none of the things in quotation marks actually being true. The Nazis in particular then did a lot of studies on head size and were horrified to learn that it was completely meaningless, with nothing they measured being consistently larger in white people than anyone else, and intelligent people's heads falling into the same size ranges as stupid people. Then they decided to look at brain volume and weight. Again, the results can most generously be described as "inconclusive", but appear to be mainly non-existent.

    But humans were so attached to the idea that even when we discovered that whales and elephants both have brains many times the size of our own, we decided that it must be the size of the brain relative to body size. That measure favors most birds over humans, with their brains being larger by size than ours. Still unwilling to give up the idea that our big brains made us smarter, some people came up with "encephalization quotient"--which is the size of the brain relative to the size you would expect to see within the taxa. Which is totally arbitrary, because who is doing the expectations of what you'll see, but it puts humans on top, so everyone could breathe a sigh of relief and not throw out their precious "humans are better because our brains are biggest" hypothesis.

    So then people started studying the mass of different components of the brain and started finding correlations between the size of different kinds of brain matter (like dark matter and white matter) and the frequency and strength of connections between neurons in the brain, and they found some correlations to intelligence there--but, critically, they didn't find that intelligence was fixed. By studying/practicing, you grow the connections and brain matter that are associated with the part of the brain you're strengthening. Just about everyone can make themselves smarter, and no one is limited by the size of their heads.

    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 17, 2015, 08:42 PM
    all of you are superior rich people from usa or uk... a poor inferior being like me doesnt belong here or have the right to waste your time...


    wat. Are you a neo-Nazi?
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #116 - June 17, 2015, 11:06 PM
    Just measured my own head size and I only registered a 22 inch circumference and given that I probably have at least 7 inches height on you . . . should I be bothered by this . . . well I'm sorry to say I'm not. I don't care what the rest of you say I think I'm alright.  Wink
    By the way you look like a fairly normal guy in your picture, I'm no doctor and it's purly guess work but isn't it more likely you suffer from some form of dysmorphic disorder instead?
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #117 - June 17, 2015, 11:06 PM
    Well all this talk of head sizes made me do it anyway. Cheesy
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #118 - June 17, 2015, 11:15 PM
    I have a larger than usual head. I need it for my big brain. Fortunately I also have huge shoulders and a broad upper body so I pull it off.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • I am an ex muslim and I badly need help to survive!
     Reply #119 - June 18, 2015, 12:18 PM
    ^ I couldn't resist measuring my head lol, it is 23in  :(   I remember my hair dresser telling me I had a big head and an extra layer of hair to trim..   Cry

    Quote from: jacktheexmuslim on June 17, 2015, 08:42 PM
    I am really sorry for wasting everyones time for replying to me.. I shouldnt have posted anything online... all of you are superior rich people from usa or uk... a poor inferior being like me doesnt belong here or have the right to waste your time... i should just die... with a tiny 21 inch head I wont be able to accomplish any thing in life and this world will be a much better place if I suicide... i was afraid of the pain of slitting my throat but I guess living as a loser like me is even more painful
    request to mods: delete this thread plz


    hi Jack, you haven't wasted anyones time, you have a good sense of humour that we enjoy... also, you look fine on your picture, you have a pleasant face.. 


     Afro
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