And I pretty much completely disagree with you.
I think that your average Muslim is really all about just going through their normal lives within the loose confines of what they consider to be Islam. At least from my vantage point, most are perfectly content, even prideful, about those things they consider to be “good” about their religion. They pay little attention to, or even completely disown, lots of the other stuff. Either they don’t know about it or they just don’t spend their time thinking about it.
They don’t see Muhammad as the “rapist, intolerant warlord." To them, he is the “Prophet of Mercy.” He’s the one who, when the angels asked his permission to destroy the city of Ta’if after they pelted him out of the town with stones, said that he would rather see them spared so that their offspring might become believers. To them, he is the one who slaughtered a sheep and asked that its meat be distributed amongst his neighbors, starting with his Jewish neighbor. He is the one who said that paradise is at the feet of the mother, and that none of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. He is the one that was patient through insults and abuse. He was, to them, shy, modest, and respectful. {And if you had been stern and hardhearted with them, they would have dispersed from around you.}
For most Muslims, at least the ones that I knew, that is who Muhammad was. He was only “forced to fight” after being expelled from his city and threatened by the confederate tribes. And they have all sorts of other excuses regarding his “marriages” and battles.
Of course, there is an entirely different side to Muhammad, but it is not the side that is often taught. Except by lunatics like ISIS, Anjem, and the Wahhabis. For so many Muslilms, it’s almost like you are describing two entirely different personalities and indeed, two entirely different religions. Maybe it's different where you are.
i can confirm that's the majority of view, at least for an average Muslim, sometimes, i discuss those subject with my wife, and she genuinely can not understand, why i stopped to belief that the Quran is the word of God, she has this mental image of Muhammed as the perfect peaceful being, and when she saw the horror of ISIS, she simply says that's not real islam, and she really believe that.
and honestly, i don't think that's a big issue, every society like to have an ideal narrative about their hero.
in my personal view the biggest damage that orthodox Islam has inflected on the modern societies is the concept that somehow Muslim are special, and this absurd justifications that even if we are so underdeveloped in all aspects ( social, economical, cultural .... ) that's fine, because at the end of the day, we go to heaven and those infidel will perish in hell. and even worst if we want to develop we have to follow the previous "pious" Umma.
unfortunately, many Muslim have the dogmatic concept of the world, and that's a tragedy in my view :(