Welcome! Have a parrot.
I completely understand about the feeling lost and searching for meaning and purpose. Then sometimes nihilism sets in and you wonder why you're even alive....I have bipolar and spend a lot of the time suicidal anyway, so that feeds my suicidality. But for right now, I don't know what my purpose or direction in life is, and I'm ok with that. There is a ton of stuff I will never know. The universe is so incredibly vast that even the sum of all human knowledge doesn't begin to scratch the surface of all there is to know. None of us could possibly know everything there is to know, and that can be overwhelming, but it's also a bit comforting because you can look around at everyone else and see that they're all just doing the exact same thing as you, trying to do the best they can with the information they have. We're all in the same boat.
Thanks, gal!
I definitely felt like that ( why am I even alive ), and I'm really sorry to hear that it made it double for you. :(
Hmm, I talked to my atheist friend while I was totally convinced in Islam a while ago, and told him that if I wasn't a Muslim, I'll probably be an agnostic atheist. Because I thought about it, and felt that these two ( Islam and atheism ) are the best possible options for me. If there's a god, I feel Islam describes him better than any other religion, as Quran gives me better answers and meaning for our existence. And when I look at the world with the eyes of a believer, I definitely feel like Quran makes sense. And when I look at the world with the eyes of a non-believer, I think being agnostic is the best possible option.
When I just felt like Quran is not really the word of god ( because I find it lacks wisdom till a certain level, and I can't understand why should god control us by threatening us all the time? It's insane to follow commands out of fear! And the most unreasonable thing for me is why we shouldn't even think about if Islam is the truth? Or Quran? Isn't it our right to think?! Why does the Quran keep describing the unbelievers and those who question Quran as sinners? It's insane. And finally, why does a good human if not a believer is destined to hell?.. ) I felt there's no other religion out there for me. It's either Islam, or be an agnostic theist with my belief in god. And as I started to question more and depend on proofs only, I couldn't prove god does exist. I just feel he does, and think that it's more logical to believe there's a god, or this whole existence is just a big mess. Being the only conscious creatures on the planet of what's going on is just a joke. Why the heck are we thinking? We should have been animals then and enjoyed life without this whole thinking about the purpose of our existence.
I agree, now that I'm standing out of Islam's borders, I feel connected to all humans. And to someone like me, that's just great. And I actually felt we're all one while I was a Muslim too, but... some verses would contradict that. I kept trying to ignore them as I felt it's so hard for me to get disconnected from the rest of humans. Yeah, I did that. But you know, even if I'll consider going back to Islam, it won't be the same. We are all one, that's what I believe. But Quran creates conflicts in me, like when it commands us to be humble to Muslims and strict with non-Muslims... I don't know. Is it really god commanding us with such a thing?
The thing is, Quran is really not any ordinary book. I always loved it despite it's dark side. It's just too powerful and has a strong impact on those who are open to it. I still can't believe Muhammad has written this book and just made up Islam. I don't think so. No one can come up with such verses, and even the Quran dares people to come up with even just a verse like it. Haha, kind of adding insult to injury. I can't reject Quran 100% . As I also can't prove it's the truth. Simply, I'm trying to follow the best path for me that makes me feel at peace ( at last, I'm just pretty tired by now with all of this. I haven't settled down on something for a while which is making me not focused on my life ).
Sorry I wrote too much haha. It was nice to meet you galfromusa!
Topic: New Agnostic Atheist/Theist