...... since then I've been on a lonely and bizarre journey .....
..... I've always struggled with mainstream ignorance and traditionalist understanding of things. I have always tried to have a rational approach to faith and application of fiqh. I suppose I'm from that generation of British Muslims that had to assert our identity after the satanic verses and then some of us picked up pride in Islam that was fed by the likes of Ahmed Deedat
.... Lucky i was never sucked into salafism which is where many of that generation ended up......
.... i think this is the single biggest turn off to islam even for all those British muslims that spent the last 20 years supposedly 'working for khilafah'.
Over the years, intellectual boldness, has allowed myself like many i have seen, to open enough conceptual and fiqhi loopholes to allow us to drift away from these very demanding and life usurping islamist cults and try to live normal lives as much as possible.
.... Bits like superstitions, fundamentalism, political Islamism, sufism, literalism, fiqh and eventually even hadith. For a short while i toyed with the idea of Quranism as a way to hold on to the faith. But even without hadith, it became difficult to reconcile with reason. Finally I came to the point where I am no longer able to defend the Quran. Although I think all people, not just Muslims, have an almost unlimited capacity to twistedly reconcile faith with reason, for me it became impossible to distinguish the message of islam from the delusions of a schizophrenic that got hijacked by king makers then empire builders.
At the moment I don't envisage ever coming out as I wouldn't want upset family relationships and as an introvert i don't have any desire whatsoever to be in the limelight. I suppose I'll just live out my days as a cultural Muslim....
... I see my Islamic heritage as part of the greater human heritage. So my islamic heritage is as much a part of me as what i inherent from india, persia, greece and rome; warts and all.
A lot of what you say in your introduction, mirrors my thoughts and experiences, maybe because I think we are from the same generation i.e. satanic verses and ahmed deedat shaping the identity of muslim teens. Unlike ex-muslim teens of today, who can forge a new identity and life for themselves by coming out and severing ties with their families, we have lived half our lives in this mess and it would not do us any good to make waves now. Though I don't think reform is ever possible in islam, the more people try, the more the lunatics start to take over the asylum. But I'm a pessimist. Anyway, welcome to the forum.
Topic: Hello and ramadhaan mubarak