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Theme Changer

 Topic: I don't feel good enough

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  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • I don't feel good enough
     OP - August 17, 2015, 08:51 PM
    Hello guys, I've been absent from the forum for a while, had a crazy summer, got married, started a new internship, it's been quite hectic and I've missed everyone in here Smiley

    Basically this post is because I don't feel good enough. I started my internship in a big architecture firm and I sit at work constantly thinking I'm not smart enough, not productive enough, not talented enough to become a great architect.
    My academic success so far feels like a fluke. During exams I always felt I got through with luck and proper timing. When I landed the internship I felt like they would regret it immediately once they realized I'm not good enough.

    I don't always feel like this. There are days where I feel I truly deserve success, that I've earned it and that I can do it. But most days the dark thoughts take over and I feel like I will never truly become a great architect. During those times it's hard to remind myself that I am capable of doing it and I allow myself to drown in self-doubt.

    Most of the time the social media does not make my anxiety any better. I see mates from university boasting with their accomplishments, their work and high grades, maintaining a social life and a part time job allowing them to travel and enjoy life. Where as I struggle making ends meet, juggling with private life and university and economy.

    I wish I could somehow find a way to escape this constant fear of not being good enough and learn to believe that I will accomplish something with my life.

    Sorry for my little rant, it's been bugging me all day.

    Cheers <3
    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #1 - August 17, 2015, 08:58 PM
    far away hug

    congratulations on the wedding..

    x
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #2 - August 17, 2015, 09:16 PM
    Judging by your academic acheivment you sound more than worthy of your internship. Perhaps rather than concerning yourself with the thoughts of one day being a great architect,  why not concentrate on the near future, set yourself  short term goals plus necessary skill building and without giving it too much thought the long term plan may slowly come together this way.
    For me, I'll be happy if I even feel adaquate in the long term career area I'm currently aiming for but hey that's just me.
    Whatever the case no point beating ourselves up too much about our long term goals.
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #3 - August 17, 2015, 09:35 PM
    This is actually a very common feeling. Everyone seems to go through it at one point or another, even the people who feign insane amounts of confidence. The fact of the matter is that you ARE good enough. You ARE smart enough. No one out there has done anything in your field that you don't also have the potential to do. Focus on your strengths to overcome your self doubt. Set smaller, attainable goals and get into the habit of succeeding and celebrating success. It's addictive.

    You got this.  Afro
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #4 - August 17, 2015, 10:11 PM
    This is a common enough phenomenon that it has a name: Imposter Syndrome. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome .

    Please note the last sentence from the wiki page quote below...
    Quote
    Impostor syndrome[1] is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. Notably, impostor syndrome is particularly common among high-achieving women.

  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #5 - August 17, 2015, 11:43 PM
     far away hug
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #6 - August 18, 2015, 12:38 AM
    I always feel like that starting out. Usually within a few years you will have mastered all the current expectations and will be looking for more challenges.
    This is natural.
    What HM said is the most logical and satisfying approach to it. Short term goals, once met, will prove you are up to the task.

    And congratulations!
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #7 - August 18, 2015, 01:51 AM
    Quote
    Basically this post is because I don't feel good enough. I started my internship in a big architecture firm and I sit at work constantly thinking I'm not smart enough, not productive enough, not talented enough to become a great architect.
    My academic success so far feels like a fluke. During exams I always felt I got through with luck and proper timing. When I landed the internship I felt like they would regret it immediately once they realized I'm not good enough.

    I don't always feel like this. There are days where I feel I truly deserve success, that I've earned it and that I can do it. But most days the dark thoughts take over and I feel like I will never truly become a great architect. During those times it's hard to remind myself that I am capable of doing it and I allow myself to drown in self-doubt.

    Most of the time the social media does not make my anxiety any better. I see mates from university boasting with their accomplishments, their work and high grades, maintaining a social life and a part time job allowing them to travel and enjoy life. Where as I struggle making ends meet, juggling with private life and university and economy.

    I wish I could somehow find a way to escape this constant fear of not being good enough and learn to believe that I will accomplish something with my life.


    This is almost exactly how I feel every day. I'm not 100% sure what to do about it, but I think talking to your doctor might be a good first step, especially if there are physical symptoms associated with it. I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, and I hope it brings you some comfort to know you're not the only one.  far away hug
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #8 - August 18, 2015, 11:24 AM
    Hi Ishtar,

    Great to have you back and congrats on all the exciting things that have happened while you were away. In regards to your feelings of inadequacy, almost every businessperson I've spoken to has said their role is largely pretending to know what they're doing. I notice this in my lectures when the professor is discussing concepts that I don't understand at all and the entire cohort are smashing out pages of notes. At the end of the class I ask people questions and they are as clueless as me lol.

    tldr; fake it till you make it  Afro
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #9 - August 18, 2015, 11:34 AM
    Thank you guys for the encouraging words, it does help a lot hugs

    Quote from: Doubting Tomas on August 17, 2015, 09:16 PM
    Judging by your academic acheivment you sound more than worthy of your internship. Perhaps rather than concerning yourself with the thoughts of one day being a great architect,  why not concentrate on the near future, set yourself  short term goals plus necessary skill building and without giving it too much thought the long term plan may slowly come together this way.
    For me, I'll be happy if I even feel adaquate in the long term career area I'm currently aiming for but hey that's just me.
    Whatever the case no point beating ourselves up too much about our long term goals.


     
    That is very helpful and what I mainly did my last semester, setting up small goals and I would feel great whenever I accomplished them. Thanks for the reminder, I'll do the same during my internship.  thnkyu

    Quote from: SCM on August 17, 2015, 10:11 PM
    This is a common enough phenomenon that it has a name: Imposter Syndrome.

    Please note the last sentence from the wiki page quote below...

     now that is actually very interesting, because that is exactly what I feel like at times, an imposter. And the last sentence  grin12

    Quote from: asbie on August 18, 2015, 01:51 AM
    This is almost exactly how I feel every day. I'm not 100% sure what to do about it, but I think talking to your doctor might be a good first step, especially if there are physical symptoms associated with it. I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, and I hope it brings you some comfort to know you're not the only one.  far away hug

    I'm sad to hear you feel this way. It can be such a hard thought to overcome which in the end makes you unproductive and thus an evil cycle is created. If you wanna talk about it you're welcome to message me hugs

    And again, thank you all for the congratulations  parrot bunny dance
    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #10 - August 18, 2015, 11:54 AM
    ^
    You're very welcome, you know small goals is how I get by most of the time too. Smiley
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #11 - August 18, 2015, 12:25 PM
    Quote from: Ishtar90 on August 17, 2015, 08:51 PM
    Hello guys, I've been absent from the forum for a while, had a crazy summer, got married, started a new internship, it's been quite hectic and I've missed everyone in here Smiley

    Basically this post is because I don't feel good enough. I started my internship in a big architecture firm and I sit at work constantly thinking I'm not smart enough, not productive enough, not talented enough to become a great architect.
    My academic success so far feels like a fluke. During exams I always felt I got through with luck and proper timing. When I landed the internship I felt like they would regret it immediately once they realized I'm not good enough.

    I don't always feel like this. There are days where I feel I truly deserve success, that I've earned it and that I can do it. But most days the dark thoughts take over and I feel like I will never truly become a great architect. During those times it's hard to remind myself that I am capable of doing it and I allow myself to drown in self-doubt.

    Most of the time the social media does not make my anxiety any better. I see mates from university boasting with their accomplishments, their work and high grades, maintaining a social life and a part time job allowing them to travel and enjoy life. Where as I struggle making ends meet, juggling with private life and university and economy.

    I wish I could somehow find a way to escape this constant fear of not being good enough and learn to believe that I will accomplish something with my life.

    Sorry for my little rant, it's been bugging me all day.

    Cheers <3


    I know where you are coming from but generally speaking internships are meant to be a learning experience. This might be cliche but it's really true. Nobody takes in an intern expecting that they know everything - that's why they are interns. If I was you I'd act like a sponge and just suck up information and new skills while I'm there. Once you are finished you have a set of skills which you can build upon next time you are looking for work, and so on until you have ''mastered'' architecture. In the end it's really all just a process with different parameters that change from project to project.

    Chin-up madame - they wouldn't have taken you in if they didn't see you have potential  Afro
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #12 - August 18, 2015, 02:40 PM
    Quote from: Ishtar90 on August 18, 2015, 11:34 AM
    I'm sad to hear you feel this way. It can be such a hard thought to overcome which in the end makes you unproductive and thus an evil cycle is created. If you wanna talk about it you're welcome to message me hugs


    Will do Ishtar.  far away hug
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #13 - August 18, 2015, 02:41 PM
    Architects and Doctors and Physicists and Biologists

    Just WOW  this place Roll Eyes
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #14 - August 18, 2015, 02:47 PM
    First of all, all that career stuff is not all its cracked up to be. Mostly a lot of work and red tape.

    Secondly, you'll be there soon enough. You have the brains for it.  grin12
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #15 - August 18, 2015, 02:52 PM
     Cheesy lol I still haven't figured out what exactly

    An artist, a neurologist, a hermit? A lazy person? a  Buddhist monk?


    On-topic
    Anyway, my advice is to do your best and expect from yourself all sorts of mistakes Smiley
    We only learn from our mistakes.
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #16 - August 18, 2015, 03:58 PM
    So take your own advice Ince.

    Just do shit, make lots of mistakes. Getting it "figured out" is overrated.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #17 - August 18, 2015, 04:54 PM
    You are right. I might end up an amateur. No big deal tbh  Afro
    I like too many things.
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #18 - August 18, 2015, 06:02 PM
    Quote from: thetruth on August 18, 2015, 12:25 PM
    I know where you are coming from but generally speaking internships are meant to be a learning experience. This might be cliche but it's really true. Nobody takes in an intern expecting that they know everything - that's why they are interns. If I was you I'd act like a sponge and just suck up information and new skills while I'm there. Once you are finished you have a set of skills which you can build upon next time you are looking for work, and so on until you have ''mastered'' architecture. In the end it's really all just a process with different parameters that change from project to project.

    Chin-up madame - they wouldn't have taken you in if they didn't see you have potential  Afro


    Thank you for the encouraging words my friend, you're right. It's just hard to remember this at times. And I most certainly will do my best to learn all I can during my time there. I mainly got scared because my degree is a bit more technical than the normal architecture degree is, but not architectural engineering like some of the other interns. But whenever I'm introduced they say I study architectural engineering which freaks me out because I'm afraid they're expecting me to be more technical than I actually am. But I suppose this is an opportunity for me to introduce them to what my degree actually is and show them what we can do  dance so thank you m'dear hugs

    Inception: mistakes are good. I forgot to draw a bathroom in the apartment I was creating a floor plan for. It was highly embarrassing once I realised why I had all that extra space. Definitely won't do that again Cheesy
    What do you do?
    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #19 - August 18, 2015, 06:07 PM
    Quote from: Ishtar90 on August 17, 2015, 08:51 PM
    Hello guys, .............. had a crazy summer, got married, started a new internship, ...........

    Basically this post is because I don't feel good enough. I started my internship in a big architecture firm and I sit at work constantly thinking I'm not smart enough, not productive enough, not talented enough to become a great architect.

     My academic success so far feels like a fluke. During exams I always felt I got through with luck and proper timing. When I landed the internship I felt like they would regret it immediately once they realized I'm not good enough.

    ..................................

    Ishtar ....Ishtar90...Ishtar90..... WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU...??

     finmad Some one dear to you  need to hit on your head girl...  finmad  you are doing so good why would you get such nonsense in to your head??  flush such ideas down the toilet...

    Not feeling good is OK., but Not feeling good enough is bad..

    with best wishes
    yeezevee
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #20 - August 18, 2015, 06:14 PM
    Oh dear yeez, thank you Cheesy I guess it is due to my self confidence issues. I have very bad self esteem and I struggle with that a lot. But reading your encouraging words is very cheering guys, so thank you Smiley
    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #21 - August 18, 2015, 06:18 PM
    Quote from: SCM on August 17, 2015, 10:11 PM
    This is a common enough phenomenon that it has a name: Imposter Syndrome. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome .

    Please note the last sentence from the wiki page quote below...


    Quote
    Impostor syndrome[1] is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. Notably, impostor syndrome is particularly common among high-achieving women.


    WOW. Suddenly everything about my life suddenly makes sense. I have felt like this for the longest time. I never knew it was an actual condition.
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #22 - August 18, 2015, 06:24 PM
    More reports on imposter syndrome:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-business/11780194/Emma-Watson-Harry-Potter-actress-feels-an-imposter.-Shes-not-alone.html

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10692002/Open-thread-Do-you-ever-feel-like-a-fraud-Its-OK-we-do-too.html

    https://counseling.caltech.edu/general/InfoandResources/Impostor
    Which side are you on?
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #23 - August 18, 2015, 07:14 PM
    Quote from: Kodanshi on August 18, 2015, 06:18 PM
    WOW. Suddenly everything about my life suddenly makes sense. I have felt like this for the longest time. I never knew it was an actual condition.

    Rule of thumb. If it exists, someone has probably looked into it.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #24 - August 18, 2015, 07:21 PM
    Quote from: Ishtar90 on August 18, 2015, 06:02 PM
    Thank you for the encouraging words my friend, you're right. It's just hard to remember this at times. And I most certainly will do my best to learn all I can during my time there. I mainly got scared because my degree is a bit more technical than the normal architecture degree is, but not architectural engineering like some of the other interns. But whenever I'm introduced they say I study architectural engineering which freaks me out because I'm afraid they're expecting me to be more technical than I actually am. But I suppose this is an opportunity for me to introduce them to what my degree actually is and show them what we can do  dance so thank you m'dear hugs

    Inception: mistakes are good. I forgot to draw a bathroom in the apartment I was creating a floor plan for. It was highly embarrassing once I realised why I had all that extra space. Definitely won't do that again Cheesy
    What do you do?


    Draw a bigger bathroom. Possibly two. I spend lots of time there  dance

    I do nothing. Aside from switching to different courses. (languages--business-socio-psycho-path- probably science now)

    Btw, welcome to the forum.  bunny
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #25 - August 18, 2015, 08:42 PM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on August 18, 2015, 07:14 PM
    Rule of thumb. If it exists, someone has probably looked into it.

    Oh, absolutely. I am aware of that. However, 'syndromes' like these tie parts of my life together that I once thought disparate.
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #26 - August 18, 2015, 08:53 PM
    Obviously it filled some gaps and may have answered questions you didn't think to ask. So was it a eureka moment or a stopped in your tracks moment or what?
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #27 - August 18, 2015, 09:49 PM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on August 18, 2015, 08:53 PM
    a stopped in your tracks moment


    This one is.
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #28 - August 18, 2015, 10:53 PM
    Quote from: Ishtar90 on August 17, 2015, 08:51 PM
    I started my internship in a big architecture firm and I sit at work constantly thinking I'm not smart enough, not productive enough, not talented enough to become a great architect.

    Learn your trade slowly. You'll end up a better architect than those splashy high-fliers who give the impression of knowing it all.

    There's too much ego in architecture, not enough craft. Why not spend time really learning the technical aspects of construction? Europe's great cathedrals were built by master builders, not architects.

    Is your new hubby any help? If not, give him a boot up the arse.
  • I don't feel good enough
     Reply #29 - August 19, 2015, 02:40 AM
    Not all guys necessarily respond the best to boots up the ass.  wacko
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
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