Once you reach a point where you have most of the things necessary to survive and thrive , you slowly start to die. Well that's the case with me.
This summer has been shit for me and Im sure someone somewhere else had it far worse and far better than me.
INcePtion......INcePtion.......and ..............INcePtion.......Dreamer........... Dream Girl..
what is wrong with you?? you are too smart.. too good a person .
Some one need to HIT ON YOUR HEAD to get all that stuff out of your head.,
What?? do you have too much free time in your hands??
But let me take this time to at least rant a bit, so that I can sleep better.
OK that is good..
This summer felt almost as if it flew by. I feel as if my perception of time has started to "shrink".
Monday, Tuesday and Sunday and repeat...
Everything has become a number. We've got to do things at xx time and go to be at time at xx time and so forth.
well you got to do things... what you got to do you got too do..what is that you don't want to do things? you want to change Monday to sunday and saturday to wednesday? I mean work wise...
It makes me kinda depressed how much we've become like robots. And it is also true that nothing of what Im tapping on my phone is making sense but I'll try to make sense and share with you a bit of negativity.
No..No.. there is no depression.. what all you are saying is.. you are too good and you do things faster than others on a given job and you have free time on your hand..
SO USE IT FOR YOURSELF...
Maybe it is my brain wired like this?
Ive always been bored. Since as early as I can recall, Ive been more bored than anyone I knew and more reluctant to do anything at all than anyone I knew.
No your brain is NOT wired like that., you are too smart ., You get bored because you do things faster than other people around you so use that time to do something for yourself..
I think being bored is something I cannot change.
No............ you can change ... Go Run .... run on grass without shoes..
That's why I dont have a routine, even a bit of order in my life. Everyone seem to be so focused on what they want and dont have time to think about anything else.
why worry abut others and what they do with their time?? it is good you don't have routine..
i'll be walking down the road and telling myself how unfair it is that some people have to work so hard to get something in their life, how we are like robots, how we dont seem to take a break ,
get rid of that shit.. It is life .. life will have problems..
how much we are destroying our planet etc...
well use your time and find ingenious ways to stop fools destroying our/your planet ..
I cant seem to go on about daily life without entering a tunnel of negativity.
This sucks because I end up just laying around and doing nothing at all or simply feeling negative.
WELL STOP THAT.. that is not good., there is so much to do ., get some tunnel of +vity ..
give me your routine.. I will tell you the work that you will not have time to lay around..This is why someday I wish to live in a rainforest, all by myself. Or just become a bhuddist monk, to seek a deeper meaning.
That is OK you can become whatever you want when you are 55 or older..
No..no 60 and older but meanwhile .. MAKE LOTS OF MONEY AND SEND ME SOME.. ..
and what deeper meaning? deeper meaning of what? nonsense...
to live good life and to make life good around you ,, you don't need to do go in to caves and become cave girl.. .. that is escapist attitude
The latter is not possible for many reasons but also because I do not believe in a deeper meaning at all.
what deeper meaning you are talking? what deeper meaning you want?.. Girl you have everything so get rid of that nonsense.
. Focus,, refocus It seems almost like Life is predetermined.. We do not have control of our thoughts most of the time or how we are going to feel the next moment. Our actions are a product of our thoughts , so how can we possibly say that we have 100% free will?
We can not say it for sure. Like our destination is death, our bodies will naturally go there.
And mind and body are not separate after all.
Why worry about that nonsense?.. GO TO GYM.. LIFT WEIGHTS
I want to enter a neutral mode and not seek for positivity. When I seek positivity, I become depressed just a few moments later.
do you want to read something? write something?? do you want to do something??
With some people it does not happen immediately but with me it is just a matter of days or sometimes Im lucky enough and it becomes a matter of weeks.
Until external and internal inputs wreak havoc on my positivity.
Therefore I'll be non-judgemental and non-receptive.
I wont respond any further and no amount of advice is going to change me. But feel free to share your thoughts.
I do not believe in happiness either, I guess.
INcePtion ....INcePtion... common.. get up from the bed put on shoes and go for running..