Leaving for Good. Members of CEMB, Teach Me Your Ways?
OP - August 21, 2015, 09:22 AM
(I dunno where to post this, so......)
I see a lot of courageous people here. Either you have it tough and you left head strong (Shout out to BerberElla T.T) , or you intelligent blokes discovered the absurdities early on, having deep knowledge of the texts.. (Hassan, I stumbled upon your story here first. You're my inspiration!)
I've read quiet a few stories here but I might have missed a lot more..
I want to know how you've found your Inner Resolution to leave this twisted religion for good. (or avoid it altogether)
Please share with me your stories or links to them.
Things like how you leave, the consequences you face, and how you're doing now..
You see, I've googled here, but I get sidetracked so fast. Getting stuck at appealing posts that don't exactly help my dilemma.
I desperately need inspiration and motivation to strengthen my resolution!
And prolly more knowledge too, I NEEDS THEMM...
***
(Rant coming up!)
I'm a coward, a chicken. And a slow learner too..
So make that a Dumb-Chicken.
My parents aren't exactly as strict as some of the people here. Nobody is pushing me to be more 'devoutly' because that's how I was, and my 'devoutness' seems enough for everyone.
And that's how people think I still am, much like a lot of the closeted ex-muslims here.
Ignorance is Bliss..
It was so easy to be devout when I was ignorant. Blindly follow, cherry pick things I like, and finding some excuse to cover up the bad ones.
I've also seen people around me rebelling. Muslimahs not wearing hijab, or people purposely not praying. And I thought, "Sucks to be you, I'm going to Paradise" ... *shivers* I hate you, Dumb-Chicken...!
Knowledge is Challenging!
Once you see it, you can't UNSEE it. And why didn't I see it earlier?!!
The SUCKy one was actually ME...!
I've started educating myself, slowly.. (dammit chicken brain!!)
Now it's getting harder to act devoutly. I try to show people that I still pray. I tried letting my hair out a few times and it feels soo gooood. I still wear hijab most of the time but I've stopped thinking like the Dumb-Chicken that I was.
But it's tiring to act, tired of getting praying advices, tired of reading chainmails like "the (absurd) habits of the prophet that I should follow" or like "pokemon is evil and jewish shit"
.. I want out! OUT I tell you, OUT!
..but
The Dumb-Chicken is scared. It doesn't mind being fed shit. Because being out is...too scary..
I'm still in the process of beating out the Dumbness, and the Chickenness of this Dumb-Chicken..
O' Courageous Members of CEMB, Teach Me Your Ways!
Sincerely,
Shu the Dumb Chicken