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- Honeybee
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OP - November 25, 2015, 12:12 PM

So, hi everyone. I'm an 26 year old revert from the US. I reverted two years ago to marry my husband. It was a strange new world for me, becoming a Muslim. Didn't know my husband long before I married him. But I was head over hills and he is great to me. The problem is Islam and the piling restrictions down to not being able to pluck my eyebrows, but that's just one of many issues.

So it was January 2014 when I became Muslim everyone was nice and welcoming. They said don't jump too into Islam at first it can be overwhelming... I was like ok. But continued learning. after we got married we hung out frequently with the other reverts we knew. Wasnt too long after we got married this other revert couple we knew said they were moving to Turkey to be in a more Islamic area. The night they we were supposed to leave we were at their apartment. The girl gave a speech about how we may never see them again, etc didn't think anything of it. Being Muslim was okay up to the point. Until...

Federal marshals came to my work to interview me. The couple was fleeing apparently to Syria to make jihad and the FBI thought we knew something. I was blown AWAY. I was dumbfounded.. I had spent months learning Muslims weren't terrorists and the very people I had in my house and were radical and crazy. I distanced myself I was pissed angry and felt like a fool. I seriously considered leaving Islam but I was already pregnant by this point. My husband would divorce me if I did. It has been a year since the woman's husband who was trying to flee is in prison. I tried to get over it....it's always at the back of my mind.

Lately I've stopped praying. Don't and never have feel close to God. The skeptic in me is seeing it for what it is. A myth. And my life is too restricted. I live my husband he is still great to me but I want to leave Islam. That's the short of it.
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Reply #1 - November 25, 2015, 12:16 PM

Welcome.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #2 - November 25, 2015, 02:48 PM

Welcome, Sry to hear about your problems.

Could you please tell us why woman's husband is in prison? I mean, why do they charge him?
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Reply #3 - November 26, 2015, 03:04 AM

Welcome.
Women do not have to be practicing Muslim to be married to Muslim men. You just have to be one of the People of the Book. Maybe he will look at it like that.
Turkey is not especially religious, or it was not a decade ago. People who move for religion usually move to Gulf countries or back ¨home¨ if they have another country of origin. Dearborn is more religious than Turkey, really.
We have all had Homeland Security or the FBI at our door. It´s just a club you end up in if you are American and Muslim. I take great comfort in knowing that they are doing their job and watching where they should be.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
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Reply #4 - November 26, 2015, 06:02 AM

@_@ From what I heard from exmuslim Turks Turkey is getting much more religious now... Thanks to Erdogan and his Islamist party

Also I just... don't think that her friend would've told the truth if they were really going to Syria...

Welcome OP!
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Reply #5 - November 26, 2015, 03:34 PM

Welcome to the forum Honeybee. I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through and the shock that this other couple gave you by their actions. I do think you have come to a good place for someone with doubts like yourself, as we've had people here who've left Islam from all sorts of backgrounds, including converts. I'm sure you'll find it a valuable resource to you.

I would suggest that you try to bring up your doubts and skepticism with your husband, and see how he reacts to that and go from there. In the meantime, there are plenty of resources about Islam on CEMB, from our wiki, to the youtube channel, to some of the pinned threads. You can check these out, and I do think many of your doubts will be confirmed. I do hope to hear more about your thoughts and experience in the upcoming period, and hope we can offer some feedback and help.

Also, have a rabbit!

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
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Reply #6 - November 27, 2015, 11:39 AM

I'm back. Well a little more about me I was a former atheist of the Christopher Hitchens persuasion. So these doubts are nothing new to me.

The guy in prison got charged with providing material support to terrorists. The undercover FBI agent recorded him talking about making violent jihad, as it came out in the papers days after our interviews. This person was at our wedding. I would post news articles but it's a tight circle and don't want to give away my identity just in case. I've brought up doubts with my husband before but he was very upset sad and heartbroken. He's also a revert. I would never want to hurt him. I'm glad I can come here and talk about my doubts. If j say anything about thoughts or question the religion I just get its Allahs decree.. Or its Just was-was... I love lurking on here cause I share the same sentiments about most of the petty restrictions. I have gained some good like being more charitable etc from Islam but idk. Being a Muslim is a stressful world. Praying was stressful, the environment of being an American Muslim and the tensions with it all makes me think it's just not worth it
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Reply #7 - November 27, 2015, 01:19 PM

Did you ever believe islam was true?

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #8 - November 27, 2015, 06:06 PM

Well, seeing as your husband doesn't seem to be wanting to have any of your doubts, I think it ends up becoming a more complicated personal journey, and one that I can't say I have much experience dealing with. I know that others have gone through similar things with spouses who have stayed in the religion while they left. It seems incredibly challenging to me, but I'm sure others have more to input about this case...

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
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Reply #9 - November 27, 2015, 09:34 PM

Welcome.

Judging from what you wrote, it doesn't sound like you're really into the religion at all since the religion has become about restrictions. You are a revert/convert and I understand that feeling. If you initially thought that it was very restrictive from the beginning, then that means your intelligence kicked in fast.

It only gets worse, so whatever situation you are in, you need to get out of it fast. Shake things up, and make a radical change to change your situation if you want your happiness.

I wouldn't play with the idea of "trying to make things work."

Islam is not like Hinduism in the sense that you can just play with it and "to each their own."

Islam is very serious and if you think it's strict now, it will only get worse. Next thing you know, brothers and sisters will be inviting you to their events/gatherings trying to convince you that Islam is really easy, but what you're really going to be in for is MIND CONTROL.

Go with your instincts. Get out of that marriage. Start a new life. It's not too late.

"If you don't like your religion's fundamentalists, then maybe there's something wrong with your religion's fundamentals."
"Demanding blind respect but not offering any respect in reciprocation is laughable."
"Let all the people in all the worlds be in peace."
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Reply #10 - November 30, 2015, 11:00 PM

Welcome
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