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 Topic: Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?

 (Read 3513 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     OP - April 18, 2016, 03:47 PM
    I tend to move cities/towns a lot and at the start of my move it gets a bit lonely before I start getting to know people. I started my postgraduate degree at a completely new university where no one knows me (and more importantly, none of the Muslims know me) and have avoided all Islamic Societies. At the start I was tempted to join because my first friends during undergrad came from the ISOC.

    Now things are a bit better and I'm not so lonely but today I saw ISOC flyers about a dinner they were having tonight and for a few seconds I thought of going. Everyone was so friendly at the ISOC events and the food was always great Tongue. But there is no way that I would actually get involved with them again because I know that after a while some of the members show there true colours and there are a lot of dirty politics going on. Not to mention they will keep trying to give me Dawah to guide me back to Islam.

    Is this normal or possibly Stockholm Syndrome?
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #1 - April 19, 2016, 02:15 AM
    No, this is normal. I purposefully moved far from the Ummah so that I would not be tempted back in and end up pretending to believe. I like prayers and love dhikr, so I knew I had to be careful. I saw an exchange student here last year and I got super excited and starting talking to her in a store. I get happy whenever I see hijaabis. I often remind myself of the backbiting and the fact that they would not welcome a murtad.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #2 - April 19, 2016, 11:50 AM
    Awww that's very true. Some will resent Murtads and others will just see us as a Dawah project :(

    I have quite a few Muslims in class as well but have told none of them of my background (hey could never tell by looking at me). Sometimes it gets tempting because I still have things in common with them such as coming from a Muslim family and having that upbringing. Life would be much easier if there wasn't so much stigma behind leaving Islam.

    Yeah, going back to pretending to believe in Islam for a community and acceptance really isn't worth it.
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #3 - April 19, 2016, 12:16 PM
    I absolutely miss some aspects of it, but for me it's not worth it for all the negative stuff that comes with it. At least now I can be all the sides of me, I have different friends with whom I express the different sides of my personality with, without being afraid that anyone is going to judge me as a bad person (read:Muslim) or whatever. It's weird none of my sisters ever bothered to tell me they liked me, or why they liked me, while some of them went out of their way to criticize me and deliberately misinterpret me because of their own problems and issues they had with themselves. Now, all of a sudden, my friends spontaneously say good things about me just because. Just because they actually like me. It becomes more and more clear that the "instant sisterhood" comes with a heavy price, and I unfortunately found myself in a very toxic environment where I felt very alone. I have fewer friends now. Very few. And I don't see them as often I did with my sisters. But it's funny how I don't feel as "alone" as then. Quality before quantity.
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #4 - April 19, 2016, 12:30 PM
    Quote from: AGirlWithDoubts on April 18, 2016, 03:47 PM
    ....................... ISOC.
    ........................ ISOC.

    ...........I know that after a while some of the members show there true colours and there are a lot of dirty politics going on. Not to mention they will keep trying to give me Dawah to guide me back to Islam.

    Is this normal or possibly Stockholm (S)Syndrome(SSS)?

    hello AGWD  .  

    Quote
    "I know AGWD
    I know SSS
    I know   IMA
    and I know ICMA
    but what is ISOC.?

    I know IFT
    I know ISNA  
    I know ISCC  
    and I know MAC  
    but what is ISOC.?

    I know MCC
    I know MSA
    I know NCCM
    and I know RTIS
    but what is ISOC.?

    I know SIC
    I know YMC
    I know CMU
    and I know TRIC
    but what is ISOC.?

    Boy that song is just from one country  with very few Muslim folks in it  Cheesy


    Quote from: three on April 19, 2016, 02:15 AM
    ................ I get happy whenever I see hijaabis. I often remind myself of the backbiting and the fact that they would not welcome a murtad.

    Well.......  Islam will be at dead end in this century "if Muslims don't welcome Murtads and Muslims do  not allow folks to go in and out of Islam."

    Well any faith and any religion should have freedom to question it and freedom to go in and out at any time the follower chooses.,   otherwise the  faith heads of this planet  that hold this religious apostasy law will be ridiculed  at every point in their life.
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #5 - April 19, 2016, 05:02 PM
    I was always quite socially awkward anyway, never liked the events or community based socialising, so no, I don't miss it much at all.

    I mean I wouldn't mind being invited to a Moroccan wedding, I miss those.  But I was always so awkward in them, always said hello too western, didn't like talking to people.  I just went there to wear a fancy gown, and to belly dance, or watch the other belly dancers...and of course to eat the food.

    Same as post ramadan eid celebrations.  I only went for the food, and left as soon as.

    Oh, I do miss the ability to feel relaxed with the idea of going to Morocco to visit my family.  It's been 20 years since I saw any of my family over there, and I do miss them.  But I just don't comfortable with the idea, and that is just the reality of being an ex muslim who is unwilling to pretend for the length of an expensive holiday, when I could have been sipping pina coladas by the pool somewhere else.    Chilling
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #6 - April 19, 2016, 05:24 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on April 19, 2016, 12:16 PM
    I absolutely miss some aspects of it, but for me it's not worth it for all the negative stuff that comes with it. At least now I can be all the sides of me, I have different friends with whom I express the different sides of my personality with, without being afraid that anyone is going to judge me as a bad person (read:Muslim) or whatever. It's weird none of my sisters ever bothered to tell me they liked me, or why they liked me, while some of them went out of their way to criticize me and deliberately misinterpret me because of their own problems and issues they had with themselves. Now, all of a sudden, my friends spontaneously say good things about me just because. Just because they actually like me. It becomes more and more clear that the "instant sisterhood" comes with a heavy price, and I unfortunately found myself in a very toxic environment where I felt very alone. I have fewer friends now. Very few. And I don't see them as often I did with my sisters. But it's funny how I don't feel as "alone" as then. Quality before quantity.


    You make some really good points. That's why I won't go back despite that it may be tempting at times; it just isn't worth it.

    Everyone wanted to prove how "on the deen" they were and would do so by looking down at others. Even sometimes when they would give me "advice" on the hijab they did so out of self-righteousness more often than not. And yes, once you're gone most of these people don't care,.
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #7 - April 19, 2016, 05:25 PM
    Quote from: yeezevee on April 19, 2016, 12:30 PM
    x


    ISOC = Islamic Society Yeezevee  Grin
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #8 - April 19, 2016, 05:29 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on April 19, 2016, 05:02 PM
    I was always quite socially awkward anyway, never liked the events or community based socialising, so no, I don't miss it much at all.

    I mean I wouldn't mind being invited to a Moroccan wedding, I miss those.  But I was always so awkward in them, always said hello too western, didn't like talking to people.  I just went there to wear a fancy gown, and to belly dance, or watch the other belly dancers...and of course to eat the food.

    Same as post ramadan eid celebrations.  I only went for the food, and left as soon as.

    Oh, I do miss the ability to feel relaxed with the idea of going to Morocco to visit my family.  It's been 20 years since I saw any of my family over there, and I do miss them.  But I just don't comfortable with the idea, and that is just the reality of being an ex muslim who is unwilling to pretend for the length of an expensive holiday, when I could have been sipping pina coladas by the pool somewhere else.    Chilling


    It would be nice to go to a Moroccan wedding, the food is bound to be amazing.

    The only Arab weddings I have been to are some Khaleeji ones. They were almost always big and extravagant.

    Ramadan and Eid haven't been special in a long time.
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #9 - April 19, 2016, 07:27 PM
    Quote from: AGirlWithDoubts on April 19, 2016, 05:25 PM
    ISOC = Islamic Society Yeezevee  Grin


    lol...well then it should be  ISOY= Islamic Society Yeezevee     AGWD

    That will make  Islam  upside down., and Baboons of Islam to pull the hair out of their beards   Cheesy Cheesy

     And I will build  that  ISOY with 80% Quran + 10% Yeezeveeran  

    and leave rest of the 10% for future generations to change when needed...  .
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #10 - April 19, 2016, 08:26 PM
    Quote from: AGirlWithDoubts on April 19, 2016, 05:29 PM
    It would be nice to go to a Moroccan wedding, the food is bound to be amazing.

    The only Arab weddings I have been to are some Khaleeji ones. They were almost always big and extravagant.

    Ramadan and Eid haven't been special in a long time.


    Moroccan weddings are big and extravagant too.  All seeking to outdo everyone else.

    I never went to a strict Muslim wedding though.  The ones with no music.  I go for the dancing, if there is no dancing then you can forget it.  May as well sit at home and be a good Muslim without pretending life isn't a sombre affair. 
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #11 - April 20, 2016, 03:58 AM
    Quote from: AGirlWithDoubts on April 18, 2016, 03:47 PM
    I tend to move cities/towns a lot and at the start of my move it gets a bit lonely before I start getting to know people. I started my postgraduate degree at a completely new university where no one knows me (and more importantly, none of the Muslims know me) and have avoided all Islamic Societies. At the start I was tempted to join because my first friends during undergrad came from the ISOC.

    Now things are a bit better and I'm not so lonely but today I saw ISOC flyers about a dinner they were having tonight and for a few seconds I thought of going. Everyone was so friendly at the ISOC events and the food was always great Tongue. But there is no way that I would actually get involved with them again because I know that after a while some of the members show there true colours and there are a lot of dirty politics going on. Not to mention they will keep trying to give me Dawah to guide me back to Islam.

    Is this normal or possibly Stockholm Syndrome?


    Nah. It's human nature to want to find and becomes part of a community. Religion just provides easy access in comparison to student clubs, classes, etc. A religion one is familiar with even more so.
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #12 - April 21, 2016, 05:46 PM
    Quote from: yeezevee on April 19, 2016, 07:27 PM
    lol...well then it should be  ISOY= Islamic Society Yeezevee     AGWD

    That will make  Islam  upside down., and Baboons of Islam to pull the hair out of their beards   Cheesy Cheesy

     And I will build  that  ISOY with 80% Quran + 10% Yeezeveeran  

    and leave rest of the 10% for future generations to change when needed...  .


     Cheesy Cheesy
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #13 - April 21, 2016, 05:47 PM
    Quote from: bogart on April 20, 2016, 03:58 AM
    Nah. It's human nature to want to find and becomes part of a community. Religion just provides easy access in comparison to student clubs, classes, etc. A religion one is familiar with even more so.


    *sighs* yeah it is a lot easier with religious societies and events.
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #14 - April 21, 2016, 05:49 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on April 19, 2016, 08:26 PM
    Moroccan weddings are big and extravagant too.  All seeking to outdo everyone else.

    I never went to a strict Muslim wedding though.  The ones with no music.  I go for the dancing, if there is no dancing then you can forget it.  May as well sit at home and be a good Muslim without pretending life isn't a sombre affair. 


    I went to a few of those with no music or dance (usually convert weddings), though not out of choice. They were more glum than a funeral :(
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #15 - April 22, 2016, 04:20 AM
    I was once at a wedding that played music, but it was wedding music with only the daff. Problem was, it was a bit too merry and "resembled normal music too much". AND a couple of otherwise religious conservative sisters danced a bit too provocatively, that some sisters were upset and critiziced it afterwards. But other than that time, every wedding I've been to has been dull and gloomy-ish.
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #16 - April 22, 2016, 03:36 PM
    Lol there was one time at a friend's wedding where the guests were the gloomy sort who hated music and any other display of joy and celebration. I recommend playing a number of Acapella  songs but my friend dismissed the idea because she was worried the guests would leave. So the entire wedding was spent sitting at a table in a room full of people who were only there for the food.
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #17 - April 22, 2016, 04:42 PM
    ^^ Yea, see that sounds miserable.  Cry

    It's Moroccan culture that I miss, not Islam or Muslims.  It's the vibe, the music, the colourful clothes, the food, the mint tea.  Just to be a Moroccan, and feel it.

    But I am so excluded by them, that I live a pretty Western life in total.

    Occasionally I make Moroccan food, but that's about it these days. 
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Does anyone sort of miss the Muslim community?
     Reply #18 - April 22, 2016, 04:47 PM
    I had Moroccan tea when I was in Morocco and now tea is not the same again. Cry Cry
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