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 Topic: Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*

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  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     OP - May 18, 2016, 02:57 PM

     I'm moving out on Friday and compiled a letter to leave my family. Just thought id share!

    I’m leaving Islam. I don’t believe in Allah or God. I don’t believe in a being that will torture those who don’t believe. If god is real then why does he need his ‘believers’ to worship him 5 times a day, how insecure is he? Why does he allow rape? Murder? Don’t say that it’s just a test because what kind of sick person would ever want anyone to go through that? I’ve spent my day and weeks analysing the Quran and what I found made me feel sick. The Quran justifies rape, child marriage, even murder. For child marriage let’s use the example of Mohammed. He married a 9-year-old-girl when he was 50! It might’ve been normal at the time but that is not normal for someone who call’s them self a prophet. And no he didn’t do it to take care of her. If he did then why would he have sex with her? And even beat her. It’s disgusting! Need evidence? Sahih Muslim 8:3310 My mother came to me while I was being swung on a swing between two branches and got me down. My nurse took over and wiped my face with some water and started leading me. When I was at the door she stopped so I could catch my breath. I was brought in while Muhammad was sitting on a bed in our house. My mother made me sit on his lap. The other men and women got up and left. The Prophet consummated his marriage with me in my house when I was nine years old. Neither a camel nor a sheep was slaughtered on behalf of me.” Tabari IX:131. There are so many other verses. How can anyone be okay with this? It’s wrong that this was considered normal. I’ve heard so many excuses such as: girls in the desert age more or at that time girls in general aged more. Well have a look at this. Sahih Bukhari 8:73:151                                                                                                                                    Narrated 'Aisha: I used to play with the dolls in the presence of the Prophet, and my girlfriends also used to play with me. When Allah's Apostle used to enter they used to hide themselves, but the Prophet would call them to join and play with me. (The playing with the dolls and similar images is forbidden, but it was allowed for 'Aisha at that time, as she was a little girl, not yet reached the age of puberty.) (Fateh-al-Bari page 143, Vol.13) At this time, she was 6 so do you really think she was ready to be raped? This was 3 years before she was forced to be his wife. She had no choice and then she tied and guess what he did? Got more wives. He was considered his favourite wife; his favourite wife was his child wife. Now that is seriously messed up. There are so many more verses on the prophet’s relationship with Aisha. Mohammed is nothing more than a child molester and a rapist. To support the argument of him being a rapist look at his Jewish wife Saffiyah. Her brother and father were killed in front of her. She was forced to marry the prophet who then raped her. Now that is not a man of honour. Narrated Abdul Aziz: Anas said, "When Allah's Apostle invaded Khaibar, we offered the Fajr prayer there (early in the morning) when it was still dark. The Prophet rode and Abu Talha rode too and I was riding behind Abu Talha. The Prophet passed through the lane of Khaibar quickly and my knee was touching the thigh of the Prophet. He uncovered his thigh and I saw the whiteness of the thigh of the Prophet. When he entered the town, he said, 'Allahu Akbar! Khaibar is ruined. Whenever we approach near a (hostile) nation (to fight) then evil will be the morning of those who have been warned.' He repeated this thrice. The people came out for their jobs and some of them said, 'Muhammad (has come).' (Some of our companions added, 'With his army.') We conquered Khaibar, took the captives, and the booty was collected. Dihya came and said, 'O Allah's Prophet! Give me a slave girl from the captives.' The Prophet said, 'Go and take any slave girl.' He took Safiya bint Huyai. A man came to the Prophet and said, 'O Allah's Apostle! You gave Safiya bint Huyai to Dihya and she is the chief mistress of the tribes of Quraiza and An-Nadir and she befits none but you.' So the Prophet said, 'Bring him along with her.' So Dihya came with her and when the Prophet saw her, he said to Dihya, 'Take any slave girl other than her from the captives.'" Anas added: "The Prophet then manumitted her and married her. “How can I follow a religion which is so misogynistic? The prophet said it’s okay to keep a sex slave, is this really who I am supposed to be inspired by? Muhammed is nothing but a criminal and today’s society he would be locked up; I’d make sure of it. By the way, he also raped Rayhanah if you were wondering, but let’s not get too into it. Because you probably won’t believe me. Now tell me, would you be happy to follow a man who killed, raped and massacred populations? If the answer is no then why do you show respect to Mohammed, he is no prophet to me and never will be. Apart from Mohammed’s immorality there are more reasons why I have left Islam. There are many errors in the Quran which clearly shows that the whole religion of Islam is man-made. 86:6-7 (Sahih International) He was created from a fluid, ejected, Emerging from between the backbone and the ribs. Sperm is clearly not produced between the backbone and the ribs, if god is omniscient then surely he’d realise where sperm comes from. In fact, I’m pretty sure everyone does. But the fact that God doesn’t even know his own creations is absurd.51:49 (Sahih International) And of all things We created two mates; perhaps you will remember. Not everything in the world is created through pairs. Many types of bacteria, fungi and even plants reproduce asexually. But obviously anyone in Mohammed’s age period would have not realised this. More evidence that this is just an absurd book written by a crazy preacher in the desert. Why is the Quran only in Arabic? Surely God would have known there would be Asian Muslims, Black Muslims and even White Muslims. There are so many scientific errors in the Quran. Science can be tested and there will be results, maybe not for everything. But religion cannot be tested and there are no results but hatred and division among our human kind. Race and religion is what divided us all, it’s what causes fear and it’s what causes war. I don’t need religion to do the right thing. A lot of people say if religion didn’t exist then we’d go around killing and not giving to charity etc. But Mohammed and the Quran don’t condemn killings for the non-believers. They don’t condemn the killing of me if anyone was ever to kill me because I’m an ‘apostate’. Would you like to know the punishment of an apostate? Death. If we weren’t in England, I would be dead right now. For speaking out for not wanting to be a Muslim. Like I said, you don’t need religion to do the right thing. If there’s a homeless person outside and even if you have a couple of penny’s, give him something. If you don’t even have money, some food. Or sometimes a friendly conversation lifts people’s spirits. You don’t need religion to tell you that. It’s part of our morality system. And religion destroys this system and that is why so many people have been brain-washed to go to Syria and be a part of ISIS. This is why there is so much extremism in the world. Other religions have extremists too but none as prevalent as Islam. You don’t need religion to tell you not to kill someone. You don’t need the punishment of hell to stop you from doing bad things. Rather than believing in an imaginary being, you need to believe in yourself as a person. Your fate is not determined by anyone but you. I remember when I was 13 and I had a boyfriend. I still don’t understand why you were so angry and upset with me. You called me ‘selfish’ for having a normal relationship, you said I ruined our reputation. Why does reputation matter to you so much? Why does what people think of you matter so much? Does it matter more than me? Your daughter? Then I’ll apologize for the inconvenience but I won’t apologise for who I am. You locked me in the house and demanded I go to an Islamic school to straighten me out. You isolated me from society and I felt so lonely, and I know you felt ashamed of me but I wasn’t ashamed of myself. I remember dad walking me to school and one of my friends asking if I was okay then he shouted at her and told her not to talk to me. Then you went to school and complained that I had a boyfriend then guess who was there? Dr Khan. Thinking back at it, I really don’t get it, they are supposed to be professional not religiously bias. I felt like school helped with the oppression of Islam. I didn’t want to wear a scarf but you guys made me at one point. And they were totally on your side, congratulations. And when I got picked up and I wasn’t wearing a scarf, you hit me mum, actually I can’t count how many times you did when you found out I had a boyfriend. But the clearest moment in my head that will never be erased is when you pulled my hair and told me do you think your beautiful now with your hair? I couldn’t reply because I was crying and I was in hysterics but here’s your answer now. Yes, mum, I do feel beautiful and I don’t see why I have to cover up my beauty. I’m proud of my body, of my face, of my hair. I do get insecurities about myself sometime but I don’t let them get me down. The reason why I’m not telling you I’m going is because I’m scared. I shouldn’t have to feel scared of my own parents. Because trothing being you are good parents but religion has ruined everything. You’ve both done your best to provide for me and to give me the life you guys couldn’t have. And you did. I’m free. I’m free of religious bullshit. Your always open about most things and you have been there when I was ill and thank you for taking care for me for these 18 years. But just because you gave birth to me does not mean that you own me. Please accept that this is who I have always been but I’ve just had to conceal my feelings and opinions ever since I was 10. That’s 8 years and it’s been eating me away bit by bit. If I am being completely honest. I am not straight. I like girls and I like guys. If you like someone, it shouldn’t matter what gender they are. I can’t follow a religion which is so incompatible with who I am. No one chose to be born, in the same way as no one chose to be straight, bi, gay or transgender etc. And I am not ashamed of myself, at first I was because since I was little I was told it was wrong, that it was disgusting. But it’s not, no sexuality is disgusting, it shouldn’t even matter in the first place. Once again the Quran says I should be killed for being who I am. The Quran limits free speech; it doesn’t allow us to question. And as human beings, it’s our innate nature to question. The first time I realised I was bi was when I cut my face? Do you want to know why I did that? It wasn’t because I was hearing voices in my head or it was the shaytan. It was my own religion. Telling me that I’m disgusting and that I am a disgusting person. That is why I did it. Because I was feeling ashamed. It wasn’t a phase, none of it was a phase, I was just expressing myself. 5 years later and I have grown as a person, I have learned to be more accepting of myself and now I am completely okay with liking girls and boys. I can’t just let my life go by and regret it for the rest of my life. I can’t just get married after my education and a job. If I want to get married, I will. If I don’t want to get married, I won’t. What I’ve come to realise is that in Islam, half your deen is supposed to be complete if you get married. I don’t need a man to complete me. I’m currently not in a relationship but if I was that person would be a part of my happiness, not all of my happiness. The only person who can keep me happy is me. Besides, if I were ever to get married I would date men and women and find someone who truly loves me and cares about me. I don’t care about race, I don’t care about anything because every race is beautiful. Now I've been told by all of you and pretty much every Muslim that Allah loves me more than anything. Now I want to debunk that myth because he sounds more like a controlling partner then anything. If I don’t believe him and don’t worship him 5 times a day he’ll send me to hell for the rest of eternity, how narcissistic. If I like women, he hates me. If I have sex before marriage, he hates me. If I show my skin. He hates me. So no god does not love me. Also, everyone always says Allah loves you more than your mother. Now that is simply not true because I know that my mum loves me and it is breaking my heart just writing this because I'm going to miss her, ill miss everyone, your my family. You all might argue that Allah loves me more than all you all love me but I know for a fact I love you more than any god could. And I will always love every one of you, no matter what, no religion can ever change that. I wouldn't say I'm ready to leave but we have to part ways and if I stay, saying goodbye would be more harder. So goodbye, I wish you all the best.
  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #1 - May 18, 2016, 03:44 PM

    Have you turned 18?
    Where in the world do you live?

    According to your letter , you have decided to "kill the dog, crap in the corner and set the house on fire on your way out".

    Have you considered a less confrontational approach?

    Quote
    Dear Mum and Dad

    I'm an adult now, and it is time I start practicing some independence. I am perfectly fine, but I need to live on my own.

    Love you all
    Sanya

  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #2 - May 18, 2016, 04:54 PM

    I am 18 Smiley
    And up north somewhere haha.

    It might seem a bit confrontational but I feel like I needed to give them an explanation as to why Im leaving.
  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #3 - May 18, 2016, 05:47 PM

    Muhammed is nothing but a criminal and today’s society he would be locked up; I’d make sure of it.

    Cheesy
    Where would you ensure locking him up, because prison aint safe for paedos? I'm not a violent man but if he were around in today's society, I wouldn't mind too much biffing him on the nose.

    Anyway, you should not hit your parents with this letter without sufficient spacing and paragraphing first.
  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #4 - May 18, 2016, 09:50 PM

    If you need to go you should go, but I would say hold off on the letter.

    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #5 - May 19, 2016, 06:32 AM

    A well-intended question: is a confrontational letter like this necessary? Do you think it will give you some satisfaction? If yes, then it's good. Just think it through before, because I personally get worried that it might provoce them to do something harmful to you. :(


    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #6 - May 19, 2016, 07:05 AM

    You must be holding in a lot of anger at the moment since your letter is full of rage.  I know how you feel, I have been there before.  There was a time I would call my father and shout at him down the phone, so so angry that he would not only believe these awful things, but that he ruined my life by making me believe as a child. 

    I was so angry at him, at everyone, at myself as well for not following my instincts when I was younger, when it didn't feel right to me, but I ignored it.  I was hurt and disgusted when I really began to open my eyes to some of the more hidden aspects of Islam that my dad had never discussed with me.  He never told me raping captives of war was ok, to find that out, and then look at my dad and see him through all of that betrayal, well I didn't handle things well at all.

    My rage made my arguments less powerful, than my arguments with them today. 

    Your rage also makes your arguments above less powerful, because all I see is your anger.  Don't get me wrong, I understand your anger, and I agree with your arguments, of course I do, that's why I don't believe also.  But all of that sense, all of that logic you want to present is being drowned out by the rage in your words, and you won't make the point that I know you want to.  You won't get them to understand this way, since they will go into defence mode.

    I would urge you to save this argument until your anger has begun to abate.  Until you yourself have experienced freedom for awhile.  Until you have moved already, and lived a little, and ranted on this website to your hearts content, in anger and rage until it's out of you.  Until you can finally send them a letter that contains more of your thoughts and less of your emotions.

    For now, maybe go with the sadder emotions, tell them you are leaving, that much has happened that you don't feel ready to fully discuss now.  from experience it works better this way.  You will be stronger at that time too, something that you aren't right now.  You are hurting and angry and because of this you are vulnerable to yet more emotional damage from their reactions. 

    I understand that you want them to know why you are leaving, but I promise they won't see any of your sense in that letter.  They will dismiss it all reading only the anger, the swearing, the hatred, and the arguments will get lost in there. 


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #7 - June 01, 2016, 01:42 AM

    Do what you feel is good for you.

    Hope you will find peace out,

    I think you have some problem.
    Every thing I post, looks weird to you.


  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #8 - June 08, 2016, 06:52 PM

    First, welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your very personal letter  parrot

    I actually liked your letter as an Ex-Muslim.

    However, I agree with the others. It's very confrontational and you are burning all bridges to your family.
    I would recommend to write a less confrontational letter, where you just explain your feelings about how sad you feel for leaving, but you have to since you never can be yourself if you continue living with them.

    You can't convince them in leaving Islam.
  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #9 - June 21, 2016, 09:28 PM

    It's best not to burn your bridges but it's your choice.
  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #10 - July 21, 2016, 03:49 PM

    Did you give the letter to your parents.

    Thank you for sharing your letter, it contains a couple of hadith that i was looking for.

    this may be a mute point since you have prob already handed the letter over already, but

    i would put the im leaving islam bit till the end.  That way they read the letter thinking you are still a muslim
    rather than reading the letter knowing you are an apostate.

    might be a useless change, but muslims only accept religious views from muslims not apostates

    hope you are doing ok


    A perfectly just God who sentences his imperfect creation to infinite punishment for finite sins is impossible
  • Ex-muslim finally moving out *Letter to my family*
     Reply #11 - July 21, 2016, 06:53 PM

    Hi Senay,

    What you have written is powerful. It's filled with detail, rage, and love. It's extremely personal and, at times, heartbreaking.

    My advice, as I have two daughters around your age, is to keep the letter. Tell them you're leaving, tell them you love them.

    The reason for this is that right now, you're angry, and even if it doesn't feel that way, you won't stay angry forever. Life is way too long to let that anger affect your ability to love them, even if their love for you was imperfect because it came from a place that only allows that kind of love.

    Tell them you are leaving. Tell them you'll call them. They will be angry and heartbroken, they'll try to find you, but in time, you will find a way to talk to them, and they will find a way to treat you as an adult.

    Frame the letter though. Put it up in your new home. It's something to be proud of.

    The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you're one of the facts that needs altering
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