As a closet ex muslim girl who has no choice but to wear a hijab and abaya or skirt, I have come to a point where I have started to hate wearing a hijab. The hijab is a hotly debated topic, and also a sensitive one due to the multitude of different philosophies given by religious people behind why women should wear it. Here is what I think after sixteen years of being a muslim and nearly fourteen years of wearing the hijab:
First of all, hijab isn't a choice. It's a requirement. Islam does not give you the choice to wear a hijab, it tells you that you must do it. There is no hadith saying "ladies, whenever you're ready". Nope. Women who claim that they had the choice of wearing a hijab had the luxury advantage of living in a country where non muslim laws give them the choice.
In most Muslim communities (especially in Islamic countries) it is generally expected that a girl will wear the hijab without complaining about it.
Narrated Umar: I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Good and bad persons enter upon you, so I suggest that you order the mothers of the Believers (i.e. your wives) to observe veils." Then Allah revealed the Verses of Al-HIJAB. (Book :60, Hadith :313).Aisha said, "Asma, daughter of Abu Bakr (that is, Aisha’s sister), entered upon the Apostle of God (pbuh) wearing thin clothes. The Apostle of God turned his attention from her and said, "O Asma, when a woman reaches the age of menstruation, it does not suit her except that she displays parts of her body except this and this," and he pointed to her face and hands. (Sunan Abi Dawud)
The idea behind the hijab is to prevent relationships between men and women that are deemed haram. It is to suppress the woman's beauty so that she does not become an object of desire for men.
O Prophet! Tell your wives and daughters and the believing women that they should draw over themselves their jilbab (outer garments) (when in public); this will be more conducive to their being recognized (as decent women) and not harassed. But God is indeed oft-forgiving, most merciful. (33:59)Here we learn two things:
- Unveiled women are not 'decent'
- The veil protects women from harassment
And know that women advanced in years, who no longer feel any sexual desire incur no sin if they discard their thiyab (outer garments), provided they do not aim at a showy display of their zeenah (charms or beauty). But it is better for them to abstain (from this); and God is all-hearing, all-knowing. (24:60)From this we learn that:
- Older women who are no longer considered 'beautiful' are allowed to wear less covering than young women because they'll attract less attention.
- Younger women are required to cover more, because their beauty is more attention grabbing for men. In other words, women are responsible for making sure that men are not tempted by their beauty.
The hijab is a covering that is meant to stop men from sinning, and to insure 'decency' and 'modesty'. I see this as a way of blaming women for the lust of men. Why are we responsible for making sure that the guys do not ogle us on the street? And an even better question: what is wrong with lust anyways?
What harm is there in a man looking at an attractive woman? That she's being objectified? Most men can still talk to the same woman they are staring at and treat her as a human and not an object. Women will not be objectified if men do not objectify them. Lust does not equal objectification. The idea that just because a man is attracted to you that he'll treat you like an object is ridiculous.
I also find the objectification argument quite ironic, considering one of the most common explanations of the hijab by Muslim clerics:
A woman is like a candy/diamond/pearl/insert another valuable
object here. And therefore she must be covered or she'll be ruined and dirty.
Women who do not wear hijab are not dirty. They are not indecent. I don't care if she's a stripper. You who argue that hijab protects you from being objectified, do not be a hypocrite and objectify women who do not wear the hijab. Women are humans, and deserve to be treated as such, and not on the basis of what we are wearing. I don't care if I'm naked, if you are a normal human being, you should be capable of treating me the way you'd want to be treated.
The hijab not only makes women responsible for the lust of men, it in and of itself is objectifying. If a woman does not wear a hijab, she will be objectified, because she's a woman. Women's bodies are naturally an object of sexual desire, and so there's no choice but to cover it. That's what the philosophy behind the hijab implies. No we cannot deal with the men who are guilty of objectifying women instead of making women wear the hijab, because it's natural for them to do that.
This has caused me to despise wearing the hijab. Not only because I hate what it stands for, but because I have no choice but to wear it. I cannot just walk into my house or community and say "I'm taking my hijab off" without being treated differently. I'd be ignored, lectured, there'd be rumours, people will not respect my personal decision and they will be relentless on talking me out of it, my family might disown me or at least be in a complete fit of rage. The hijab is not a garment, it is a symbol, and that's why removing it is so difficult. That's also why I'm so eager to throw it off. I do not want to represent an ideology that disrespects me as a female.
Thanks for reading my little rant. I'm sorry if there are a few grammatical errors, this was rather spontaneous and I'm really stressed out and tense right now.
Topic: Why I hate my hijab