Ex-Muslim

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- Shazmin
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OP - August 18, 2016, 04:06 PM

Hi im sixteen year old female ex-muslim.Im still "in the closet" atheist and a hijabi.
Im bangladeshi aswell so my parents are also the typical first generation south asian parents.Strict,sexist, controlling and conservative.As well as religious.The best of both world yay.
Ive always been liberal and never really put religion first.My parents werent always like this and I dont know what the fuck happened.Im guessing its those interent schlors.
I hate dressing being forced to dress "modest".Luckily im not being asked to wear a burka or abaya.Although Im getting older so that might change.Wearing the hijab changes me as a person.It makes me less confident and I already have a hard time making friend.

Anyways I was wondering if anyone was in a similar situation as me and whats plans do you have in the future.Are you saving up to move or planning on going uni.I also want to go to a university hours from where I live (I still have a couple of years) however ive over heard my dad say I have to say local and I wont be allowed .Anyone had any similar experience and what did you do?

17 Female Hijabi
- puzzlelover
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16Yr Ex-Muslim
Reply #1 - August 18, 2016, 04:13 PM

Welcome Shazmin
- Jedi
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Reply #2 - August 18, 2016, 05:15 PM

Quote from: Shazmin on August 18, 2016, 04:06 PM
Hi im sixteen year old female ex-muslim.Im still "in the closet" atheist and a hijabi.
Im bangladeshi aswell so my parents are also the typical first generation south asian parents.Strict,sexist, controlling and conservative.As well as religious.The best of both world yay.
Ive always been liberal and never really put religion first.My parents werent always like this and I dont know what the fuck happened.Im guessing its those interent schlors.
I hate dressing being forced to dress "modest".Luckily im not being asked to wear a burka or abaya.Although Im getting older so that might change.Wearing the hijab changes me as a person.It makes me less confident and I already have a hard time making friend.

Anyways I was wondering if anyone was in a similar situation as me and whats plans do you have in the future.Are you saving up to move or planning on going uni.I also want to go to a university hours from where I live (I still have a couple of years) however ive over heard my dad say I have to say local and I wont be allowed .Anyone had any similar experience and what did you do?

Lots of people are in a similar situation.

Go to university but do you A-levels or BTechs or whatever qualifications first. Most importantly keep yourself safe and sane.

Safe and sane.

Safe and sane.

Youth is rebellious and youth cn cause many missteps. From here get education of academic subjects, but education about yourself too. Find out who you are. Don't try to push too many boundaries though since strict Asian parents with a short temper do not mix well with with overly independent Muslimas.

What are your hobbies?

*I advise you don't post your real name here (I assume it is anyway).

No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
- zoya
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Reply #3 - August 18, 2016, 05:35 PM

Hi shazmin

SO it sounds like we are in a very similar situtation....... I am also 16 and south asian and have very similar parents based on what you said about them. I'm lucky I don't have to wear a niqab or anything either, but I still have to dress modestly. I've also always been liberal and never held religion to be very important to me.

My plan is to just do as my parents say until I move out in a couple years, then live my life how I want once I move away even though I'll still have to pretend to be Muslim when I come home for the summer, but faking it for a while is worth the financial stability, since they will be paying for me to go to college. I plan to become financially independent as soon as possible and only then will I come out and say I am not muslim.

Please don't do anything rash, it's better to keep quiet and play along for a bit until you move out, trust me it's NOT worth it to do anything about it now since you have a real risk of being financially cut off, kicked out, or even receiving death threats.

Feel free to PM me anytime!
- olweasel
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Reply #4 - August 18, 2016, 05:42 PM

Quote from: Shazmin on August 18, 2016, 04:06 PM
Im bangladeshi aswell so my parents are also the typical first generation south asian parents.Strict,sexist, controlling and conservative.As well as religious.The best of both world yay.

especially on the controlling part

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
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- asbie
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Reply #5 - August 18, 2016, 08:49 PM

Welcome to the forum Shazmin, have a rabbit!

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
- Shazmin
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Reply #6 - August 18, 2016, 09:29 PM

Hey guys thanks for the advice and no im not rebellious or anything ive just lost complete motivation to do anything.
I love typical girlie stuff like makeup and fashion.However once again a lot of clothes my parents consider immodest even though its not revealing.I also love sports and used to play loads however im not allowed as they consider it a waste of time and 'girls arent suppose to do that'.I literally dont do anything anymore.

17 Female Hijabi
- three
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Reply #7 - August 19, 2016, 01:37 AM

Welcome!
Do try to stay in the best shape you can, even if it is Pilates in the house, because one day when you are free you can play sports again. Some of the women in my neighborhood belong to teams and go a few times a week.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- puzzlelover
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Re: Ex-Muslim
Reply #8 - August 19, 2016, 02:15 AM

Quote from: three on August 19, 2016, 01:37 AM
Welcome!
Do try to stay in the best shape you can, even if it is Pilates in the house, because one day when you are free you can play sports again. Some of the women in my neighborhood belong to teams and go a few times a week.

Ditto what three said. Will your parents accept something for fitness sake, if not competitive sports ? Physical activity will help you mentally too. Can you somehow fit in some regular time at school or some all women's gym? Walk whenever you can. Best wishea
- adorkable
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Reply #9 - August 19, 2016, 06:37 PM

Hi, I am sorry that this happened to you. I am currently experiencing your situation but even worse than that. I am very liberal and I am dating an open minded non-muslim white man. My family freaks out and some of them are trying to break my relationship apart. I can't run away cos I have to finish my university. But I totally feel you. This is so unfair. I am a grown up woman, 23 years old shouldnt be treated like a 16 years old. It's sickening. Yet I cant do much about it.

I am planning to get married with my boyfriend as that is the only way from me to be "FREE" from my fanatic family. But my boyfriend has to be a muslim. He agrees to do a fake shahada for my own sake because he feels sorry about how my family treats me like I have no control over my life.

You should fight for your life, maybe go to university with open minded system. Then work your way out from there. Try to convience your father that you really want to go there.

Best of luck.
- INcePtion
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Reply #10 - August 19, 2016, 06:48 PM

To all of you
- ElToro
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Reply #11 - August 19, 2016, 11:56 PM

Welcome Shazmin
- Hsnake
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Reply #12 - August 23, 2016, 12:21 AM

Welcome Shazzy
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