Grüße

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- Nynaeve
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Grüße
OP - December 01, 2017, 11:07 PM

Hi everyone,

Dropping in from Deutschland. I struggled with the courage to sign up here many times this month. I hated Islam before I knew there was an option to leave it, that was back when I was still in my teens. I think I was 15 when I gave up prayers and religion started to annoy me. I hail from a Shia Muslim Pakistani family, oh joy, the superstitions, idiocy and self-beating I had to deal with...

Still, that's not the worst of it. I'm sure my Muslim ex-fiance was gay and he raped me back in the day but shall I say, ahem, his preferences led me to believe he's a closet gay. He was a toxic public homophobic and a bully; now, I hear that he's discovered religion.

My parents disowned me recently because I decided to marry a non-Muslim man. But still, what I'm angry at the most is my 6th grade Islamic Studies teacher who lied to me about Mohammed's history. I never bothered to read about Mo before because to me Islam was shit for women - and that was all the reason I needed to leave it. But after studying about Mo quite intensively, I suffered from a PTSD relapse, which I was diagnosed with a few years ago. I'm still in shock about how brutal and inhuman Mo was - and it doesn't surprise me that my parents and ex-fiance, who are great flag bearers of Mo, would be as violent and disturbed as Mo himself.

The second worst thing are my PTSD symptoms, which have paralysed me all of this week. I'm unable to recognise my father after the disownment issue as my illusion of him suddenly died, and I saw him for what he was. I'm looking for a new therapist here in DE now and hope, just hope. The news coming out of Pakistan are ugly. I feel an interesting world I could have shown my husband no longer exists, maybe it never did - or maybe it existed only in my imagination.

I'm sorry for being such a downer.
- alexv33
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Gr??e
Reply #1 - December 02, 2017, 12:03 PM

i am a pakistani origin british man and i was once like you full of hatred for all things islamic. now i feel sorry for the billions of brainwashed people, not just in islam but in many other religions of the world. i will be 61 years old in a few weeks time and have lived a happy and peaceful life since publicly declaring myself to be an atheist. you have manged to to take the hardest step by your actions, you will gain strength by believing in reason, logic and ultimately the truth. i salute your courage and wish a peaceful life with your family. keep strong.
- Philowolf
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Gr??e
Reply #2 - December 02, 2017, 03:51 PM

Quote from: Nynaeve on December 01, 2017, 11:07 PM
Hi everyone,

Dropping in from Deutschland. I struggled with the courage to sign up here many times this month. I hated Islam before I knew there was an option to leave it, that was back when I was still in my teens. I think I was 15 when I gave up prayers and religion started to annoy me. I hail from a Shia Muslim Pakistani family, oh joy, the superstitions, idiocy and self-beating I had to deal with...

Still, that's not the worst of it. I'm sure my Muslim ex-fiance was gay and he raped me back in the day but shall I say, ahem, his preferences led me to believe he's a closet gay. He was a toxic public homophobic and a bully; now, I hear that he's discovered religion.

My parents disowned me recently because I decided to marry a non-Muslim man. But still, what I'm angry at the most is my 6th grade Islamic Studies teacher who lied to me about Mohammed's history. I never bothered to read about Mo before because to me Islam was shit for women - and that was all the reason I needed to leave it. But after studying about Mo quite intensively, I suffered from a PTSD relapse, which I was diagnosed with a few years ago. I'm still in shock about how brutal and inhuman Mo was - and it doesn't surprise me that my parents and ex-fiance, who are great flag bearers of Mo, would be as violent and disturbed as Mo himself.

The second worst thing are my PTSD symptoms, which have paralysed me all of this week. I'm unable to recognise my father after the disownment issue as my illusion of him suddenly died, and I saw him for what he was. I'm looking for a new therapist here in DE now and hope, just hope. The news coming out of Pakistan are ugly. I feel an interesting world I could have shown my husband no longer exists, maybe it never did - or maybe it existed only in my imagination.

I'm sorry for being such a downer.

Welcome have a rabbit.

I am sorry about what islam did to you but know your amoung family
- spare parts
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Gr??e
Reply #3 - December 03, 2017, 02:27 AM

Welcome, lovely person! Well done for seeing the light, like so many bright sparks you've paid the hefty price for dumping Islam.

Very sad, so many of us are shredded by this toxic mix of Islam, Muslim culture and Patriarchy.
All that heavy sad stuff will eventually pass, just make sure to look after yourself as best as you can.

Whereabouts in Germany are you?
I lived in Germany for a few years, in Tuebingen. Loved Germany, wonder if it's changed much now following all the influx of refugees...
- ElToro
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Gr??e
Reply #4 - December 20, 2017, 10:53 PM

Hi Welcome,

Wow, you must be the second one from Germany, because I was probably the first one

Schreib mir, falls du mal das Bedürfnis hast zu reden. LG
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