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Theme Changer

 Topic: You know you're an ex muslim when......

 (Read 184119 times)
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  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1080 - February 22, 2013, 03:01 PM
    and after that.....you catch yourself thinking "holy crap, does that mean I still believe in God and The Devil?"
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1081 - February 22, 2013, 03:43 PM
    I actually lost my faith on the third day of last year's Ramadan then I had to fake it for the rest of the month. It wasn't that hard sneaking food into my room; though my sister swore she saw me eating one day but I vehemently denied it and wallahied my way out of it to the point that she got confused and accepted that her mind was probably playing tricks on her. 

    It'll be winter here at Ramadan time so that makes it easier. 
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1082 - February 22, 2013, 08:02 PM
    Quote from: TheDarkRebel on February 22, 2013, 02:00 PM
    Man you just reminded me of the second worst thing about Ramadan.


    Taraweeh...     no

     Taraweeh is the first worst thing about Ramadan. Just thinking about it gives me the chills and makes me sad  Cry
    Quote from: tabularasa on February 22, 2013, 03:01 PM
    and after that.....you catch yourself thinking "holy crap, does that mean I still believe in God and The Devil?"

    You know you are an ex muslim whenever you mistakenly say Allahu Akbar and then smack yourself for praising the devil(Allah)  Snap out of it

  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1083 - March 06, 2013, 01:03 AM
    When you bring your phone with you in the bathroom so you could text while pretending to your parents that you've been there to do the whudu for the salat.  whistling2
    Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1084 - March 13, 2013, 09:37 PM
    You know you're an ex muslim, when people at your uni come up to you and advertise a talk on Islam for you to attend, and you tell them blatantly "I couldn't give a crap about it, sorry"
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1085 - March 14, 2013, 01:55 AM
    when you fap, you'd say he'll '0' to big all.
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1086 - March 15, 2013, 03:48 AM
    What's taraweed?
    ***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1087 - March 15, 2013, 04:53 AM
    ^ A praying marathon.
    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1088 - March 15, 2013, 07:04 AM
    Quote from: Crunchy Cds on March 15, 2013, 03:48 AM
    What's taraweed?


     grin12
    Quote from: ZooBear 

    • Surah Al-Fil: In an epic game of Angry Birds, Allah uses birds (that drop pebbles) to destroy an army riding elephants whose intentions were to destroy the Kaaba. No one has beaten the high score.

  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1089 - March 15, 2013, 08:03 AM
    Quote from: Crunchy Cds on March 15, 2013, 03:48 AM
    What's taraweed?

    LOL. I'm assuming you mean taraweeh. It's a specific form of torture that Muslims (particularly males) are subjected to during Ramadan where you basically have to go to mosque at night and pray for literally hours with a bunch of people.
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1090 - March 15, 2013, 09:38 AM
    Quote from: Crunchy Cds on March 15, 2013, 03:48 AM
    What's taraweed?


    I dunno but I want some!

    No, it is a prayer in Ramadan that involves standing during the recitation of the entire quran. You literally stand for several hours each night, after having fasted all day. Fasting in the day and "standing" at night are the two main events of Ramadan.
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1091 - March 15, 2013, 09:40 AM
    Oh yeah, and waking up at ungodly hours to eat breakfast when your stomach is still asleep.
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1092 - March 15, 2013, 12:34 PM
    I got one for this xD
    When you realize astronomers can predict when god is going to shoot jinn with stars xD
    Tell people that there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you.

    Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
    - George Carlin
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1093 - March 16, 2013, 06:48 PM
    Hypocrites label you with ironic terms like "sell out"
    "I measured the skies, now the shadows I measure,
    Sky-bound was the mind, earth-bound the body rests."
    [Kepler's epitaph]
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1094 - May 12, 2013, 07:19 PM
    Quote from: Jema on February 11, 2013, 08:10 PM
    When you use your prayer rug as an exercise mat Grin


    Haha, I hadn't thought of that one!
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1095 - May 12, 2013, 07:55 PM
    When you don't own a prayer rug and when family visits you give them a big ass towel and when they ask which direction qibla is your point in a direction hoping it is right and argue with your wife afterward "no its this way, no its that way, babes we need to get a musallah for when family visits"  grin12
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1096 - May 13, 2013, 12:17 AM
    ^ A towel? Cheesy
    The qibla thing is so annoying. All their prayers are useless anyway, unless they live within 10k of Mecca. The prayers aren't directed towards the Ka'bah because the Earth is not flat. They're all essentially Astrolatrists XD
    Started from the bottom, now I'm here
    Started from the bottom, now my whole extended family's here

    JOIN THE CHAT
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1097 - June 19, 2013, 01:15 AM
    Whilst talking to my beautiful hijabbi friend with her extolling the virtues of Islam. I am daydreaming of persuading her to follow me into the big mosque near her house. outside of prayer times we sneek into the Muezzins bit , switch on the transmitters. then we start to have mad passionate sex.

    broadcasting our moans and grunts to all of those who were expecting to hear the adaan soon.

    sorry just me then with these thoughts?
    Late Eid Mubarak, Where's my eidee present ?
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1098 - June 19, 2013, 03:56 AM
    You know you're an ex-muslim when political solidarity between you and oppressed muslims is moot and the islamic left is an utter, utter farce. :(

    Thanks for that qu'ran BTW!
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1099 - June 19, 2013, 08:54 PM
    When you realize it’s been years since you’ve lifted your foot into a sink.

    When you forget you ever cared whether or not your shorts cover your knees (men). Grin
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1100 - June 20, 2013, 11:20 AM
    you eat with your left hand.
    Late Eid Mubarak, Where's my eidee present ?
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1101 - June 20, 2013, 11:47 AM
    This is probably more of a cultural thing. When I was younger, I was taught that if a shoe is facing upwards it's swearing at god so you gotta turn it over. As an OCD kid, I would spend a few minutes before I went inside anywehre, house, mosque, whatever, turning shoes over. I still do it subconsciously. Except for a few days ago when I went towards the shoe and was, "MUST. NOT. TURN. SHOE"

    You know you're ex muzzie when you don't turn the shoe over  dance
    Quote from: ZooBear 

    • Surah Al-Fil: In an epic game of Angry Birds, Allah uses birds (that drop pebbles) to destroy an army riding elephants whose intentions were to destroy the Kaaba. No one has beaten the high score.

  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1102 - June 20, 2013, 01:49 PM
    You know your an ex muslim when you feel lucky when your parents forget to wake you up for those early morning fajr prayers.


    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1103 - June 20, 2013, 05:47 PM
    Quote
    You know your an ex muslim when you feel lucky when your parents forget to wake you up for those early morning fajr prayers.


    OMG, I feel so sorry for you! Mine only do this during Rhamadan. What a pain!

    You know you're an ex-Muslim when:

    You forget the stupid order of Wudu.

    Watching sexualised Korean pop music no longer feels "wrong" (I mean the music part not the sexualised part!)



  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1104 - June 20, 2013, 11:18 PM
    I dont know if this has been said before (there are 38 pages to read here!), and I think I am becoming an ex-muslim (early stages)....

    you know you're an ex muslim when you dont give a fuck when you miss fajr

    Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down - Jeffrey Townes, Willard C. Smith
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1105 - June 21, 2013, 06:19 AM
    Forget Fajr, you know you're an ex-muslim when you don't give give a fuck when you miss Jummah. And Eid prayer Tongue
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1106 - June 21, 2013, 07:06 AM
    Quote from: TheDarkRebel on June 20, 2013, 01:49 PM
    You know your an ex muslim when you feel lucky when your parents forget to wake you up for those early morning fajr prayers.

    Quote from: Kingsaab on June 21, 2013, 06:19 AM
    Forget Fajr, you know you're an ex-muslim when you don't give give a fuck when you miss Jummah. And Eid prayer Tongue

    No more food for you guys  Tongue
    Attached image is missing * fajr.jpg (45.97 KB, 604x453 - viewed 912 times.)
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1107 - June 21, 2013, 08:39 AM
     Shocked what's thaaat!
    Quote from: ZooBear 

    • Surah Al-Fil: In an epic game of Angry Birds, Allah uses birds (that drop pebbles) to destroy an army riding elephants whose intentions were to destroy the Kaaba. No one has beaten the high score.

  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1108 - June 21, 2013, 11:48 AM
    How do you enforce no eshaa no sleep?

    'Bangin' party tunes?

    And surely if you are keeping someone up, you're punishing yourself???

    In another 1400 years that piece of cardboard will be like the tablets of the ten commandments  -  and Zuhr will be spelt with a T and the last 2 letters of Maghrib ALWAYS have to be lower case
    Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down - Jeffrey Townes, Willard C. Smith
  • You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #1109 - June 21, 2013, 03:47 PM
    ^ Naturally, it’ll be translated into Ye Olde KJV Bible English.
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