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Theme Changer

 Topic: You know you're an ex muslim when......

 (Read 184519 times)
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  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #750 - August 17, 2011, 01:22 AM
    ^^^  Cheesy sooo true!

    move lips, bend over x 2, stand up, move lips, bend over x2, raise finger after 8 seconds, move lips, look side to side after 25 seconds. done!

    all the while thinking about boobies.
    Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. - Voltaire
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #751 - August 17, 2011, 01:35 AM
    I used to just lean forward (like, a few inches) four times in rapid succession, then do the tasleem, and that was it. Best of all, I was a Muslim then Tongue (last stages of Islam, when I was flirting with deism and liberal Islam a la Muslims for Progressive Values) Then I'd sit on the mat for a while and go out of the room after some time passes so no one would be suspicious.
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #752 - August 17, 2011, 01:39 AM
    When I used to pray in my room I used to just sit on the floor and if someone walked in I would just go into sajdah or something.
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #753 - August 17, 2011, 02:06 AM
    Were you an ex-Muslim then?
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #754 - August 17, 2011, 02:17 AM
    Nope. Just as lazy as I am now.
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #755 - August 17, 2011, 02:23 AM
    Quote from: Prince Spinoza on August 17, 2011, 01:39 AM
    When I used to pray in my room I used to just sit on the floor and if someone walked in I would just go into sajdah or something.


     Cheesy
    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #756 - August 17, 2011, 03:20 AM
    Quote from: Prince Spinoza on August 17, 2011, 01:39 AM
    When I used to pray in my room I used to just sit on the floor and if someone walked in I would just go into sajdah or something.


    +1

    Becoming an ex-muslim certainly did wonders to improve my ingenuity and resourcefullness, though I no longer resort to these kinds of measures.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #757 - August 17, 2011, 05:00 AM
    Quote from: Prince Spinoza on August 17, 2011, 01:39 AM
    When I used to pray in my room I used to just sit on the floor and if someone walked in I would just go into sajdah or something.


    Oh, I just remembered something! I used to do something like that, except instead of doing a sajdah I'd just stay sitting on my knees, like the posture between the two sajdahs, because I was just too damn lazy.
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #758 - August 17, 2011, 05:16 AM
    I would never be able to keep a straight face... so I'd just go into sajdah and grin to myself.
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #759 - August 17, 2011, 05:29 AM
     Cheesy
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #760 - August 22, 2011, 06:18 AM
    This just happen when i went out to buy cigarrates this morning.

    ...When you see a muslim friend of yours hiding a bottle of beer from you and getting nervous of buying cigarrates in front of you for fear that you may judged him or talk behind his back for his sinful behaviour. Cheesy

    Yet he didnt realise i came to buy cigarrates too. Roll Eyes
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #761 - August 22, 2011, 07:58 AM
    I was drinking water (my family assumed that i m fasting) ....suddenly the room opened and I threw away my glass ...ran away and hid myself in washroom...
    Disbelief doesn't justify getting tortured in eternal hell
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #762 - August 22, 2011, 09:54 PM
    When you almost accidentally sign an application form with your username. D:
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #763 - August 22, 2011, 10:04 PM
    Grin, how come?
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #764 - August 22, 2011, 10:11 PM
    I have an excuse! Sunbul Rocket's been my *~alternative~* (internet) name since I was fourteen. And, of course, I'm on CEMB, like, way too much...
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #765 - August 22, 2011, 10:43 PM
    Wow, you are a forum hopper. This reminds me when i used to log on to footy forums but not anymore only that i used my real name.now i have lost my interest in football,i only check the results and article.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #766 - August 22, 2011, 10:43 PM
    I haven't done that^ but I've actually introduced myself with this username... cue a look of unmistakeable wtf-erry... I wish I was joking. *still feeling the facepalm*
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #767 - August 22, 2011, 10:45 PM
    Quote from: Prince Spinoza on August 17, 2011, 01:39 AM
    When I used to pray in my room I used to just sit on the floor and if someone walked in I would just go into sajdah or something.


    awww soo cute.

    I haven't prayed since November last year, trying to see if i can go a year wihtout praying.
    I make it rain - apparently?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh_I19_mKkU&list=SP1665576E7498BAB7&index=2&feature=plcp
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #768 - August 23, 2011, 07:22 PM
    Quote from: Naija Infidel on August 22, 2011, 10:43 PM
    Wow, you are a forum hopper. This reminds me when i used to log on to footy forums but not anymore only that i used my real name.now i have lost my interest in football,i only check the results and article.

    I prefer the term 'forum whore'. *nodnod*

    Quote from: Prince Spinoza on August 22, 2011, 10:43 PM
    I haven't done that^ but I've actually introduced myself with this username... cue a look of unmistakeable wtf-erry... I wish I was joking. *still feeling the facepalm*

     Cheesy
    How did you explain that one away?
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #769 - August 24, 2011, 02:43 AM
    I didn't. I didn't know him personally, he just blinked, I went red faced and told him my real name name. (Cue a second look of wtf-erry. I ended up having to spell it to him, as usual. -_-')
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #770 - August 24, 2011, 11:55 PM
    When you're creeped out by your mum crying whilst praying.
    19:46   <zizo>: hugs could pimp u into sex

    Quote from: yeezevee
    well I am neither ex-Muslim nor absolute 100% Non-Muslim.. I am fucking Zebra

  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #771 - August 27, 2011, 06:55 PM
    ... when you're expected to pray, so you just splash some water on yourself to make people think you performed wudu, and then when you're praying you're smiling all along and barely containing your giggles, and you forget to say "Ameen" after Al Fatiha, and your knees hurt like #*@!)$*%&@( after a sajdah. (First time I've actually prayed in MONTHS. My parents don't expect me to anymore, but I was visiting relatives).
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #772 - August 27, 2011, 07:16 PM
    Or, alternatively, when you have no sympathy for those who experience the above because you've gone through that waaaay too many times. Tongue
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #773 - August 27, 2011, 07:28 PM
    It was a funny experience Tongue

    I think I heard my uncle, who knows I'm an atheist, giggle too Tongue
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #774 - August 27, 2011, 08:02 PM
    Quote from: GodIsNotGreat on August 24, 2011, 11:55 PM
    When you're creeped out by your mum crying whilst praying.


    That reminds me the time i laughed when some people were crying in Masjidul Haram Grin
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #775 - August 27, 2011, 08:09 PM
    The way you folks tell it, I keep thinking that ex-Muslims just giggle rakat after rakat every time they're forced to pray. I think I've only laughed once during salat after my apostasy but I can't recall whatever it was for....
    "I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."
    Muhammad Ali
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #776 - August 27, 2011, 08:33 PM
    When you don't get tried at serving a good old shock factor which is as follows:

    Person: "Oh your parents are Muslim?"
    You: "Yes"
    Person: "Are you also?"
    You: "No"
    Person: " ... really?"
    You: "Yes, I am not but they are"
    Person: " ... oh ..."
    Hear ye -->> DONATE TO CEMB

    Relativism | Cognitive dissonance | Cognitive biases | Memeplex | Consequentialism
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #777 - August 27, 2011, 08:34 PM
    When you update your facebook status forgetting it hints you are not fasting ... doh!
    Hear ye -->> DONATE TO CEMB

    Relativism | Cognitive dissonance | Cognitive biases | Memeplex | Consequentialism
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #778 - August 27, 2011, 08:58 PM
    When your list of CEMBers you miss when they aren't there is ridiculously long.
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #779 - September 06, 2011, 04:15 AM
    ... say shahada
    (make an intro thread on the forum)
    perform salaat
    (bow before your keyboard believing that there's no forum like the forum)
    do sawm
    (postpone a meal because you're too busy having good time with the kafirs)
    give zakaat
    (wish you had an extra million in your account so you can donate some of it to the forum)
    go on a Hajj
    (visit a library, brothel, pub or an atheist convention according to your means whilst remembering 'zikr' the forum)
    "That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
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