You know you're an ex muslim when......

Previous page 1 ... 14 15 1617 18 ... 39 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
- Pharaoh
- Aragorn son of Arathorn, Last of Isildurs Heir
- Member
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #450 - January 25, 2011, 04:32 PM

Okay, well when I was seven I lived in an apartment complex. In this complex there was this Japanese girl who was my friend. One day, she and I found a cardboard box and she wanted to play "house". We used this cardboard box as our house Our other friend who was 1 year younger than me and 3 years younger than her(9) was playing with us as well. Anyways, while we were playing she asked me if I knew what kissing was. Naturally, I responded yes. Then she asked me if she could kiss me. I replied yes. So it was that way that I kissed a girl for the first time. After that, we kissed for a bit, and she asked me did I know what sex was? I responded no because I really didn't know what sex was. She told me it was another thing that grownups do. At this moment I started feeling a little uneasy. She asked me if I wanted to have sex, and I said I am not sure. She said we have to because she is the mommy and I was the daddy. I said okay fine. So she sent our other friend out because the "daughter" is not supposed to watch. I wont tell the rest because it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and is a horrible memory.

<mchawking>: there's a 9 inch one coming out next month and I wish I had money
- Pharaoh
- Aragorn son of Arathorn, Last of Isildurs Heir
- Member
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #451 - January 25, 2011, 04:33 PM

Unfortunately, no.

<mchawking>: there's a 9 inch one coming out next month and I wish I had money
- Ali Alawi
- ex shiite,ex sunni, ex muslim. But still gay and bitchy
- Ex-Muslim
- We r who we r
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #452 - January 25, 2011, 05:28 PM

LOL pharoh... and thnk goodnesss u didnt do it. u can always have the first with a dude

<AliIsAli>: in ur sharia law, am i to be killed???
<ghutlu>: Yes sure sure u should 4 firstly Being Ex muslim
<ghutlu>: for leaving ISLAM
<AliIsAli>: would u kill me if u saw me?
<ghutlu>: yes surely
<AliIsAli>: :(
<ghutlu>: by the way gay is just a mental problem
- muddy
- The Drama King
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #453 - January 25, 2011, 05:40 PM

I don't really think he didn't do it.

Admin of following facebook pages and groups:
Islam's Last Stand (page)
Islam's Last Stand (group)
and many others...
- olweasel
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #454 - February 14, 2011, 04:03 AM

You know you're an ex-Muslim when you are relieved that your parents forgot about praying for a few consecutive days.

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
- Robert Louis Stevenson
- Mowser
- God-defying Heathen
- Ex-Muslim
- I reject your reality and substitute my own
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #455 - February 23, 2011, 04:06 AM

I was never a religious person so many of the points mentioned in the posts don't apply to me. I never prayed or said "Alhamdulilah" and stuff. Still, here's my list.

You know you're an ex-Muslim when...

Quote from: Ishina on August 29, 2010, 10:03 AM
You might also get the urge to put something irreverent, like 'place bacon upon him' (Muhammad)

... the above quote makes you chuckle.

... you can buy food from the non-Halal-certified stores (for me, during lunch at work, despite my Muslim friend's disapproval ) without feeling guilty.

... your Muslim/God-believing friends are talking about how it's easier to prove the existence of God than argue against it, and you're sitting there not saying anything and feeling like you're about to burst because you're still a closet apostate.

... you don't respond to "Assalamualaikum", or you do so very hesitantly.

... you eat pork, club and drink without feeling guilty.

... your period very conveniently comes everytime someone asks if you want to pray.

... you see people posting on Facebook/Twitter about how Allah is great... and you feel sorry for them and how brainwashed they are.

... you scoff when you hear Muslims talking about how wearing a hijab is a position of honour and that Muslimahs really do have many rights in Islam.

... you feel ridiculously stupid thinking about the times when you actually used to defend Islam online and proclaim yourself to be a proud Muslim. *facepalm*

... when people ask, "You're a Muslim, right?", you awkwardly answer "Erm, well that's the religion I was born into..."

(lastly, applicable to atheists in general)... you laughed when Ricky Gervais closed the Golden Globes with "And thank you to God, for making me an atheist."
- Cato
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #456 - February 24, 2011, 07:30 PM

Quote
.. you see people posting on Facebook/Twitter about how Allah is great... and you feel sorry for them and how brainwashed they are.

^This, it makes me cringe but there is nothing i can do about it. cuz they happen to be nice fellas

"I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

"No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
- ChinaDoll
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #457 - February 24, 2011, 09:44 PM

I know i had to listen to a friend tell me how just it is to send people to hell , I just wanted to fucking scream !

"its fashionable to be an ex Muslim these days"
- billy
- Pub Regular
- Tripitaka ~ Closet Juice
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #458 - February 24, 2011, 10:17 PM

(place bacon upon him) ishina

"we can smell traitors and country haters"

Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
God is Love.
Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
- Jinn and Tonic
- My Place is the Placeless, the Trace of the Traceless
- Ex-Muslim
- aka عزرایل
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #459 - February 25, 2011, 02:10 PM

you know you are an ex muslim when you hear something horrible is happening to
someone, and your first thought is to make duaa for them, and then you pause,
and say, "oh...wait... there is no god"

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
Helen Keller
- Elifaz
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #460 - February 27, 2011, 11:10 PM

Quote from: norabora on January 16, 2011, 06:14 AM
I love this thread

You know you are an ex-muslim
*when you forget to run and put on a scarf when male guests show up....
*you stop acting all sweet and pious in front of your moms and dads friends....
*somebody asks when the asr prayer is and you quickly bring out your phone and google it pretending you arent sure of the exact minute it starts
*you have to catch yourself before you defend jews, homosexuals, and females in an argument with muslims present.
*your opposite sex best friend knows which people you need to avoid (certain hijabis) and will even avoid all hijabis
*whenever you pray you do it without wudu.
*whenever you fast you still drink water
* whenever a non muslim asks what your religion is you say most muslims think im muslim but im really agnostic

Spot on!
- abzm94
- Member
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #461 - February 27, 2011, 11:14 PM

When you forget to have a shower after w******
- Elifaz
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #462 - February 27, 2011, 11:20 PM

You know you're an ex-Muslim when:

...you eat bacon just because you can.
...you accidentally wake up a fajr time, turn over and go back to sleep with a big cheesy grin on your face.
...you start blaspheming the prophet under your breath whenever you are "forced" to pray in a social context. For example I enjoy saying "fuck you Muhammad" whilst in sujood three times.
...you no longer see every hijabi girl as a potential wife
...you watch Islamic youtube videos and TV channels just for kicks
...you read CEMB before you check your email
...you know the Qur'an better than most of your Muslim friends
...you realise how bad many Muslims are at spelling!
- Elifaz
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #463 - February 27, 2011, 11:21 PM

Quote from: abzm94 on February 27, 2011, 11:14 PM
When you forget to have a shower after w******

Yes, that was a serious waste of water. Having 4 showers a day.
- Shahid Raza
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #464 - February 27, 2011, 11:32 PM

When you sing nasheeds, but with your own blasphemous lyrics.

Or am I the only one who does that?

.
- muddy
- The Drama King
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #465 - February 27, 2011, 11:33 PM

Quote from: Eliphaz on February 27, 2011, 11:21 PM
Yes, that was a serious waste of water. Having 4 showers a day.

What? Have you seriously ever took 4 showers a day?

Admin of following facebook pages and groups:
Islam's Last Stand (page)
Islam's Last Stand (group)
and many others...
- Elifaz
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #466 - February 27, 2011, 11:39 PM

Quote from: muddy on February 27, 2011, 11:33 PM
What? Have you seriously ever took 4 showers a day?

Lol... I think I once had three. How else does a teenager going through puberty make their five daily prayers, how?!
- canex
- Suggest a Title
- Ex-Muslim
- Raveeeee
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #467 - February 27, 2011, 11:43 PM

haha wow! 3 showers. My record would be 4 provided I really showered afterwards

A guy I know has a record of 9 !! and I am not talking about showers

Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. - Voltaire
- canex
- Suggest a Title
- Ex-Muslim
- Raveeeee
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #468 - February 27, 2011, 11:44 PM

Quote from: Shahid Raza on February 27, 2011, 11:32 PM
When you sing nasheeds, but with your own blasphemous lyrics.

Or am I the only one who does that?

not sure bro. I dont however. I never really found that stuff catchy enough to have it stuck in my head.

care to share some of your own lyrics...

Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. - Voltaire
- muddy
- The Drama King
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #469 - February 27, 2011, 11:46 PM

Quote from: Eliphaz on February 27, 2011, 11:39 PM
Lol... I think I once had three. How else does a teenager going through puberty make their five daily prayers, how?!

lol.. I was a bad muslim then, who never did 5 time prayer on time even after so much criticism from family..

Quote from: canex on February 27, 2011, 11:44 PM
not sure bro. I dont however. I never really found that stuff catchy enough to have it stuck in my head.

care to share some of your own lyrics...

Seriously? Just for wanking?

Admin of following facebook pages and groups:
Islam's Last Stand (page)
Islam's Last Stand (group)
and many others...
- Alex Lam Meem
- Restricted
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #470 - February 28, 2011, 12:05 AM

Quote from: Eliphaz on February 27, 2011, 11:20 PM
For example I enjoy saying "fuck you Muhammad" whilst in sujood three times.

I think I never did that only because I was never forced to pray after apostasy. Funny.

"That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
- canex
- Suggest a Title
- Ex-Muslim
- Raveeeee
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #471 - February 28, 2011, 12:52 AM

Quote from: muddy on February 27, 2011, 11:46 PM
Seriously? Just for wanking?

haha naw man. i am amazed someone actually sings nasheeds on a regular basis. Mohammad would be the last thing in my mind.

Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. - Voltaire
- olweasel
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #472 - February 28, 2011, 04:18 AM

You know you're an ex-Muslim when your relatives frequently remark "koi salam ni duaa?" when they see you.

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
- Robert Louis Stevenson
- canex
- Suggest a Title
- Ex-Muslim
- Raveeeee
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #473 - February 28, 2011, 04:43 AM

^^ lol i feel your pain man !

Funny thing is that I always say Hi when I meet muslims now.

Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. - Voltaire
- Alex Lam Meem
- Restricted
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #474 - February 28, 2011, 04:49 AM

Quote from: olweasel on February 28, 2011, 04:18 AM
"koi salam ni duaa?"

Just wait until more russian speaking kafirs join the forum

"That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
- olweasel
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #475 - February 28, 2011, 04:58 AM

Help yourself to some chai in the meamtime.

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
- Robert Louis Stevenson
- mufa9a
- Ex-Muslim
- Bookworm is the new sexy
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #476 - March 01, 2011, 09:05 PM

Quote from: Eliphaz on February 27, 2011, 11:20 PM
You know you're an ex-Muslim when:

...you eat bacon just because you can.
...you accidentally wake up a fajr time, turn over and go back to sleep with a big cheesy grin on your face.
...you start blaspheming the prophet under your breath whenever you are "forced" to pray in a social context. For example I enjoy saying "fuck you Muhammad" whilst in sujood three times.
...you no longer see every hijabi girl as a potential wife
...you watch Islamic youtube videos and TV channels just for kicks
...you read CEMB before you check your email
...you know the Qur'an better than most of your Muslim friends
...you realise how bad many Muslims are at spelling!

LOL@ F* Y* Mohammed. for a sec i imagined what a devout muslim would think reading that .

right on on the rest.

you know you're an ex muslim when :

- You reach out your left arm to grab something being handed to you and begin to get puzzled when the person handing it to you pulls it back. then get a big "ahuh" moment when he points at your right hand/arm
-Someone starts talking about miracles in today's events " made up stories" and just as you start addressing all the assumptions being made , they get to the point and say : whoever doesn't believe in Allah will never believe this . But for people who believe in his powers it is all possible.
so you say "O.K." and head back to your office.
- When the rumors of Gaddafi having Jewish blood tempt you to request multiple sources.
- When you can't help but make smart references on FB regarding Atheism/religion.
- You smile when muslim friends comment on those references in agreement.
- You want to smack someone in the head when you hear how Adam and Eve caused all humanity to be cursed with greed and what not by eating an apple. or anything similar implying a fairytale has a moral lesson.
- A small adjustment: You wake up during Fajr and actually have the strength to get up and shut the window to drift the callers voice away
( back when i thought of praying , at times i would snuggle in bed feeling really good and cozy, Shaitan makes you feel that way )
- You tell your friend one of the things you and this new guy you met have in common is distaste for religion . she says Astaghfurullah, and you change the subject.

"Tomorrow is the today you were worried about yesterday" Unknown
- abzm94
- Member
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #477 - March 01, 2011, 10:48 PM

Quote from: mufa9a on March 01, 2011, 09:05 PM
- You tell your friend one of the things you and this new guy you met have in common is distaste for religion . she says Astaghfurullah, and you change the subject.

How true this is. And how often it's a girl.
- Cato
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #478 - March 05, 2011, 06:21 PM

Quote
When you can't help but make smart references on FB regarding Atheism/religion.

I just made one today and my Aunty reacted to that, what is even more funnier is that one of my naive muslim friend liked her comment.

Quote
You smile when muslim friends comment on those references in agreement.

So true.

Quote
A small adjustment: You wake up during Fajr and actually have the strength to get up and shut the window to drift the callers voice away

my flat mate use to come and wake me up until i closed the windows and bolted doors, up till now he never came and knocked on my door

Mine

-When you open another facebook account meant for Atheist,Agnostics,Deists and Ex-Muslims

"I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

"No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
- muddy
- The Drama King
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #479 - March 05, 2011, 06:37 PM

You are an Ex-muslim, when you have kitchen full of alcohol, but still like to hang out in wine section of grocery store.

Admin of following facebook pages and groups:
Islam's Last Stand (page)
Islam's Last Stand (group)
and many others...
Previous page 1 ... 14 15 1617 18 ... 39 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »