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Theme Changer

 Topic: You know you're an ex muslim when......

 (Read 184486 times)
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  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #810 - October 01, 2011, 01:31 PM
    Everyone I've talked to thinks it's "just a phase".
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #811 - October 01, 2011, 01:33 PM
    Quote from: harakaat on September 30, 2011, 08:00 PM
    You know you're an ex-Muslim when Sunbul to you is like Aisha to Moe -- precocious, sexy, and you die when she's 17.

     Cheesy Cheesy
    Oh, Harakaat. You're such a character.
    "I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."
    Muhammad Ali
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #812 - October 01, 2011, 01:58 PM
    When you can barely remember what it felt like to be a muslim.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #813 - October 01, 2011, 02:05 PM
    Quote from: harakaat on October 01, 2011, 01:31 PM
    Everyone I've talked to thinks it's "just a phase".


    Tell me about it, my brother always pull  "Been there,done that" card. Anytime he brings that up and i will ask him to tell me what he has one through,he will say "You will never understand". Bullshit

    I dont like it if someone tries to be condescending especially if one doesnt have any idea on what he/she is talking about.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #814 - October 01, 2011, 03:42 PM
    Quote from: harakaat on September 30, 2011, 07:11 PM
    On this forum, it seems like you're either an agnostic atheist, a non-labelist, or a pantheist. Haven't seen any deists/generic theists/converts to other religions.

    -___-
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #815 - October 01, 2011, 04:12 PM
    Fine, fine, or a Discordian Tongue
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #816 - October 01, 2011, 04:17 PM
    That counts as a religion. Tongue
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #817 - October 01, 2011, 04:20 PM
    Well, so does cunnilingus.

    Technically.
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #818 - October 01, 2011, 05:04 PM
    Cunnilingus is NOT a religion. It is a method of worship, like salah.
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #819 - October 01, 2011, 08:22 PM
    Quote from: Naija Infidel on October 01, 2011, 01:10 PM
    When your brother tells you that you are going through a phase for being an atheist Cheesy

    Sometimes i wish he should just shut up because the more he keeps opening his mouth, the more im losing my respect  for him for being older than me


    Even as an eldest sibling, I can say there's no reason for you to do that. Respect him just because he's older that is.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #820 - October 01, 2011, 08:30 PM
    Quote from: Kodanshi on October 01, 2011, 05:04 PM
    Cunnilingus is NOT a religion. It is a method of worship, like salah.


    It is a religion *and* a method of worship! The religion of Cunnilingus revolves around... well, cunnilingus.

    I should know -- I happen to be quite a cunning linguist.
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #821 - October 01, 2011, 08:40 PM
    Quote from: harakaat on October 01, 2011, 08:30 PM
    It is a religion *and* a method of worship! The religion of Cunnilingus revolves around... well, cunnilingus.


    Do this religion's sacred texts consist of closeup pictures of labia and elaborate descriptions of tongue positions?

    Are practitioners of analingus considered dangerous heretics?

    I think we should be told.
    Before it gets too late, you will find escape.
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #822 - October 01, 2011, 08:46 PM
    I wish you spoke Arabic, I would've showed you my Quranic cunnilingus erotica :(

    Also, no, not at all! Analinguism is a sister religion -- part of the three Oralsexhamic religions of Cunnilinguism, Analinguism, and Fellatioism. However, unlike the Abrahamic religions, we have come to know the virtue of religious tolerance.

    Plus, we're kinda too busy making love to make war.
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #823 - October 01, 2011, 09:10 PM
    But what about Rectolingus? It’s on a MUG, people!

  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #824 - October 01, 2011, 10:59 PM
    Quote from: asbdsp on October 01, 2011, 08:22 PM
    Even as an eldest sibling, I can say there's no reason for you to do that. Respect him just because he's older that is.


    The only way i can respect him is if he learns to get off my back and stop poking his nose at my business and focus on his. He is in his 30's FHS!
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #825 - October 01, 2011, 11:20 PM
    someone must have mentioned this before - Not feeling guilty for having a drink, not guilty for a girlfriend. Not feeling any guilt, or shame in normal things.

    Not feeling guilty for missing prayers.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #826 - October 02, 2011, 04:04 AM
    When reading ummah forum induces rage.
    n = 0 : n + [1,1,1...]
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #827 - October 02, 2011, 09:26 AM
    When reading Ummah forum induces lulz.
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #828 - October 02, 2011, 09:55 AM
    ^+1
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #829 - October 07, 2011, 07:26 PM
    when you start to experiment with different kinds of alcohol just to find out which one you like best
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #830 - October 07, 2011, 08:40 PM
    When discussing religion either bores you to tears or drains you of energy.
    "I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."
    Muhammad Ali
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #831 - October 13, 2011, 10:13 PM
    When you forgot there is going to be Eid Ul Kabeer soon.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #832 - October 13, 2011, 10:16 PM
    when you still wander why recite dua before you leave the house
    "The words that oscillate between nonsense and supreme meaning are the oldest and truest." - C.G. Jung
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #833 - October 16, 2011, 12:41 PM
    When you've lost count of the times you've stolen other CEMBers' jokes to use IRL. mysmilie_977
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #834 - October 16, 2011, 12:44 PM
    When you provoke your parents slowly by asking how they'd react if you marry a. a Christian b. a Jew c. a Hindu d. an atheist e. an ex-Muslim and finally f. a man.
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #835 - October 18, 2011, 06:06 PM
    When you want to scream when someone on phone start conversation with assalamalaikum or end it with allahhafix
    Admin of following facebook pages and groups:
    Islam's Last Stand (page)
    Islam's Last Stand (group)
    and many others...
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #836 - October 18, 2011, 06:35 PM
    I still do that with muslims but im doing it out of courtesy,lol.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #837 - October 18, 2011, 07:37 PM
    When people mention Allah, it makes you want to roll your eyes so hard you think they'll fall out of your head.

    When you feel a discussion about religion is about to start, you feel tired or ill.

    When you feel like reading surat Al-Chicken in a room full of people who probably don't understand Arabic just for the lulz.
    "I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."
    Muhammad Ali
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #838 - October 18, 2011, 07:51 PM
    Hell yes! The number of times I’ve wanted to scream at my father when I’m driving him somewhere in his motability car… He talks about how fortunate he is that allah gave him a car. WTF?! Huh? ¡¿allah gave him a car?! No, the British government and benefits scheme that makes cars for disabled people possible gave him a car! The people whose taxes pay for the scheme gave him a car! All allah gave him, if it exists, was osteo–arthritis and crippling pain. wacko
  • Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
     Reply #839 - October 18, 2011, 07:57 PM
    Quote from: The Wyre on October 18, 2011, 07:37 PM
    When you feel a discussion about religion is about to start, you feel tired or ill.



    or when they twist a normal conversation into religion and you want to avoid the digression or change the topic or leave
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
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