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Theme Changer

 Topic: first religious memory

 (Read 7194 times)
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • first religious memory
     OP - November 19, 2008, 07:09 PM
    What was your first religious memory?
    I remember mine well. It was my third memory.
    My first was at 18 months old of having a bandage roughly stripped of new scald scar tissue. My second was of trying to kill my new born brother with a large brass fire poker when I was 21 months old.
    My third was when I was 3, in 1949,  at a local Anglican Sunday school held in an adapted mews room, attached to a huge decaying stone vicarage. There was an old white bed sheet, pressed into service as a projector screen. The film was about the civilising good works of Christian missionaries in benighted African kingdoms.
    We were lined up on wooden benches before the flickering black and white images to witness these miracles and then served lemonade and scones before my mother came to collect me.

    So, what do you remember?
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #1 - November 19, 2008, 07:16 PM
    When I was about 3 years old, I climbed up to the top of the stairs (the highest place I could think of) and declared myself God. My mother was horrified.
    Life is a sexually transmitted disease which is invariably fatal.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #2 - November 19, 2008, 07:16 PM
    Probably fidgeting in Sunday school, trying to do anything but pay attention. Yeah. I guess my earliest 'religious' memory is me rebelling at church, wandering around and doing whatever I wanted. Yeah. Smiley
    I chose to get circumcised at 17, don't tell me I never believed.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #3 - November 19, 2008, 07:17 PM
    Quote from: Iris on November 19, 2008, 07:16 PM
    When I was about 3 years old, I climbed up to the top of the stairs (the highest place I could think of) and declared myself God. My mother was horrified.


    Cheesy
    I chose to get circumcised at 17, don't tell me I never believed.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #4 - November 19, 2008, 07:23 PM
    Not sure how old I was - possibly 4 or 5:

    My eldest sisters showing me how to pray and make the du'a afterwards. (I was told to hold my hands out to catch the presents God was sending down.)

    EDIT - actually before that I remember trying to hug God.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #5 - November 19, 2008, 07:28 PM
    When I was 4, I remember my mother coming home from  the Catholic church in, Scunthorpe, the nearest town, for they are never strong in English villages, in floods of tears because the priest refused her holy communion. She vowed, there and then , to convert to Anglicanism.
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #6 - November 19, 2008, 07:56 PM
    Although brought up as a Catholic (whatever that really means) and having gone to three Catholic schools in North London I don't really have any recollection of my first Christian memory.

    Funnily enough though I have clear recollections of my first Islamic memories.

    Just to point out first that I've never been a Muslim.

    Anyway although I met lots of Muslims at university and included them amongst my friends I had my first Islamic experience in 1992 after university on a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course.

    I met a British girl who had converted to Islam. Her name was Michelle and she was from up north, i.e. north of Watford and she came to the course in Islamic dress.

    I remember a few things about her. One was she lent me a couple of videos so I could learn about Islam. I have to admit that they were a bit weird and were made up of what it looked like debates between Arab Christians and Arab Muslims and every time the Arab Muslim said something the crowd erupted into applause.

    Anyway the next day I returned the videos and after doing so another girl on the course brought me to one side and said 'Be careful. Don't get involved with that stuff.'

    It turned out she was an ex-Muslim.

    So there you go.

  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #7 - November 19, 2008, 08:15 PM
    Quote from: Iris on November 19, 2008, 07:16 PM
    When I was about 3 years old, I climbed up to the top of the stairs (the highest place I could think of) and declared myself God. My mother was horrified.

    Hell, I wish I'd thought of that! Totally brilliant.
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #8 - November 19, 2008, 08:48 PM
    Quote from: Iris on November 19, 2008, 07:16 PM
    When I was about 3 years old, I climbed up to the top of the stairs (the highest place I could think of) and declared myself God. My mother was horrified.


    lol...  grin12
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #9 - November 19, 2008, 10:46 PM
    My actual earliest conscious memories are of wanking…
    "At 8:47 I do a grenade jump off a ladder."
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #10 - November 19, 2008, 11:07 PM
    Quote from: Pazuzu on November 19, 2008, 10:46 PM
    My actual earliest conscious memories are of wanking…



    Ah, well that explains a lot. Smiley

    Is that during a religious ceremony?
    Ha Ha.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #11 - November 19, 2008, 11:44 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on November 19, 2008, 07:23 PM
    (I was told to hold my hands out to catch the presents God was sending down.)



    Aww, that's so cute!
    "Poor human nature, what horrible crimes have been committed in thy name!"
    - Emma Goldman
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #12 - November 20, 2008, 07:49 AM
    Quote from: Pazuzu on November 19, 2008, 10:46 PM
    My actual earliest conscious memories are of wanking…


    I suppose that could count as a somewhat religious experience  grin12
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #13 - November 20, 2008, 10:07 AM
    Quote from: Pazuzu on November 19, 2008, 10:46 PM
    My actual earliest conscious memories are of wanking…

    Is it 8.47 yet?
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #14 - November 20, 2008, 10:11 AM
    I remember, when I was about 4 I think, how god and Father Christmas 'fitted together'. My Father employed a few people so I wondered, Did FC work for God or what?. I mean, I knew the elves and reindeer worked for FC, so it seemed to follow.
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #15 - November 20, 2008, 11:07 AM
    Quote from: Iris on November 19, 2008, 07:16 PM
    When I was about 3 years old, I climbed up to the top of the stairs (the highest place I could think of) and declared myself God. My mother was horrified.

     Cheesy Awesome. Iris FTW.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #16 - November 20, 2008, 11:49 AM
    My circumcision.
    It hurt like hell.
    There will be no white flag above our door
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #17 - November 20, 2008, 11:59 AM
    When I was 4, my mother told me to pray but I wanted to play. Mum forcibly took me near home temple. I prayed 'God, you are a donkey' wacko Mum obviously scolded me. Next day, I got flowers for temples from my piggy-bank and said 'Sorry'.  
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #18 - November 20, 2008, 02:13 PM
    I remember after playing with my Lego I went to ask my mum if we were just little Lego men that God played with. I asked her if he controlled our arms and legs like I did with my little men - she laughed and said no. Then I asked why he doesn't so we could do good all the time - I was truly puzzled!
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #19 - November 20, 2008, 04:14 PM
    I remember thinking how complicated for God it must be to work all the sets of traffic lights in the world going from green to red:)
    Ha Ha.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #20 - November 20, 2008, 04:16 PM
    Quote from: Charles on November 20, 2008, 11:49 AM
    My circumcision.
    It hurt like hell.


    How old,

    were you?
    Ha Ha.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #21 - November 20, 2008, 04:53 PM
    My earliest memory of a religious experience is sitting during the classes to prepare for first communion and dripping hot wax on my hand. Perhaps I was not interested in 'waiting' for the presents.
    "Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.' So the Apostle called Burayra to ask her. Ali got up and gave her a violent beating first, saying, 'Tell the Apostle the truth.'"
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #22 - November 20, 2008, 06:03 PM
    The earliest one I can think right now of was when I was around 3 years old and playing carebears with my sister. We made one of the carebears perform salah, during which he gets hit in the back and becomes a martyr. I was very saddened.
    The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. - Bertrand Russell
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #23 - November 20, 2008, 06:13 PM
    Quote from: ladyofshalott on November 20, 2008, 06:03 PM
    The earliest one I can think right now of was when I was around 3 years old and playing carebears with my sister. We made one of the carebears perform salah, during which he gets hit in the back and becomes a martyr. I was very saddened.

    What was the name of the carebear?
    "Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.' So the Apostle called Burayra to ask her. Ali got up and gave her a violent beating first, saying, 'Tell the Apostle the truth.'"
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #24 - November 20, 2008, 08:33 PM
    Quote from: Jack Torrance on November 20, 2008, 04:14 PM
    I remember thinking how complicated for God it must be to work all the sets of traffic lights in the world going from green to red:)

    Ah well, that's why he created amber. Gave him more time to count on his fingers.
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #25 - November 20, 2008, 08:55 PM
    Quote from: ladyofshalott on November 20, 2008, 06:03 PM
    The earliest one I can think right now of was when I was around 3 years old and playing carebears with my sister. We made one of the carebears perform salah, during which he gets hit in the back and becomes a martyr. I was very saddened.


    That's cute Smiley. I remember when I thought carebears were the shit. I was so proud of my carebear cereal bowl (nearly forgot about that)
    I chose to get circumcised at 17, don't tell me I never believed.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #26 - November 21, 2008, 01:43 AM
    My 4 year old sister figured out how to cross her eyes and I asked her where she learned it. She said the witch from the 'exorcist place' taught her. I asked her where the witch was and she whispered "Up, up, high with Allah!".

     Shocked Grin
    "Poor human nature, what horrible crimes have been committed in thy name!"
    - Emma Goldman
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #27 - November 21, 2008, 07:16 AM
    w00t! What will your parents say if they hear that story? Will they think their daughter is a witch?
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #28 - November 21, 2008, 11:28 AM
    Quote from: Iggy on November 21, 2008, 01:43 AM
    My 4 year old sister figured out how to cross her eyes and I asked her where she learned it. She said the witch from the 'exorcist place' taught her. I asked her where the witch was and she whispered "Up, up, high with Allah!".

     Shocked Grin

    So, how does a 4 year old know about witches? Fascinating.
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: first religious memory
     Reply #29 - November 21, 2008, 11:29 AM
    First religious memory would be aged 7, being handed a little pink book on prayer and how to do it.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
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