Amazing story. Well told too; someone said you have a fluid writing style, I second that.
One question, what is "access rights" and why does it mean you wait around for your death?
Access rights mean that my ex husband has a right to see the children, this means that in truth I can never be safe.
Every 2 weeks I have to go to a designated meeting place with the kids and hand them over, and then collect them after.
In 4 weeks I will no longer have the protection of using a contact centre to hand over the children (which involves me sitting in a safe room until he has left with them), instead I will have to meet in a public place.
As to being safe, I thought when I moved to this place I would feel safe, but that was naive of me. He pressured my eldest into giving him our address details so he knows exactly where I am.
This is due to access rights, so it's ok to beat a woman and threaten her life, it's ok to do all of this, as you will still be allowed to see the kids and continue making her feel threatened for many many more years to come.
About time you read it, slowpoke.
I just finished reading it. I started when you first posted it, but couldn't finish it. I guess I thought it was too negative and didn't want to read it right then.
"niggers are the army of the devil" (which he believed based on old Islamic texts)
He believed it was based on text, or believed it because it was based on text? If the latter, you know which?
When I was reading your story, I could hear the old apologist in me trying to reason, "they weren't following Islam right... bla bla bla" I can see how an apologist (or anyone with rose coloured glasses for Islam) could dismiss your story. ...
I'm glad that you finally got out for yourself, your kids, and for us to get to have a friend like you .
Oh, his was a very warped interpretation......maybe, but it was in reference to the hadiths that talk about people with blackened faces, and how if anyone needed to imagine what satan looked like they should just look at this one particular black guy they all knew.
To him that fact that people who ended up in hell, ended up with blackened faces, meant the army of the devil were niggers.............he was a racist bastard deep down.
I remember threatening to tell his black muslim friend all about what my ex thought of black people, of course that led to another fight but I never really did stop saying what I felt needed to be said.
As to apologists dismissing my story, I have also had many muslim ladies pm me, back on FFI and sometimes here who have had their own life thrown into the spotlight of examination when they have read my story. It spoke to them and made them realise that actually Islam was to the blame for the abuse they suffered and they were only deluding themselves when they believed Islam was not to blame, or that their abusers were going against Islam. Infact a good few became ex muslims but weren't ready to plunge into forum life because it's a slow proess, and it's a hurtful one.
My story isn't really for the people who have never suffered, it's for the people who have suffered, and who need to see what someone else has said on what motivates that suffering. People who have been there, who have felt it, they are the ones who will most understand.
If during my abused years I had stumbled across an ex muslim womans testimony, someone who had suffered like I had but had recognised islam was to blame, I know I would have felt I had found someone who understood and I too would have seen earlier that no amount of deluding myself could change the fact that Islam motivated alot of what I went through.
Topic: My journey up from the abyss