Skip navigation
Sidebar -

Advanced search options →
↑ ↓
CEMB → Forum → Life, The Universe & Everything → Religions and Gods → Look What You're Missing!

Welcome

Welcome to CEMB forum.
Please login or register. Did you miss your activation email?

Donations

Help keep the Forum going!
Click on Kitty to donate:

Kitty is lost

Recent Posts

Lights on the way
by akay
Today at 05:55 AM
Qur'anic studies today
by zeca
Yesterday at 07:11 AM
Gaza assault
Yesterday at 04:36 AM
Marcion and the introduct...
by zeca
May 14, 2025, 02:25 PM
New Britain
May 13, 2025, 07:40 PM
Do humans have needed kno...
May 13, 2025, 08:38 AM
الحبيب من يشبه اكثر؟؟؟
by akay
May 10, 2025, 01:22 PM
Random Islamic History Po...
by zeca
May 10, 2025, 10:45 AM
What music are you listen...
by zeca
May 10, 2025, 08:24 AM
Pope Francis Signals Rema...
May 09, 2025, 05:32 PM
Kashmir endgame
April 24, 2025, 05:12 PM
عيد مبارك للجميع! ^_^
by akay
March 29, 2025, 01:09 PM

Theme Changer

 Topic: Look What You're Missing!

 (Read 5409 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Look What You're Missing!
     OP - February 16, 2009, 02:22 PM
    http://www.paradiseinthequran.com/

    This is what you could have for all eternity, if you just give up your apostasy and revert to Islam. 

    According to Adnan Oktar anyway.... wacko

    Edit:  warning before you click on that link - Islamic heaven seems to be very noisy for some reason. 
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #1 - February 16, 2009, 02:32 PM
    Where are the sluts?
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #2 - February 16, 2009, 02:58 PM
    Hahaha,

    very low attempt,

    so they don't only hide the ugly parts in their Da'wa..!  piggy
    "I'm Agnostic about God."

    Richard Dawkins
    ==
    "If there is a God, it has to be a man; no woman could or would ever fuck things up like this."
     George Carlin == "...The so-called moderates are actually the public relations arm of Al-Qaeda and the Islamic Republic of Iran."  Maryam Namazie
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #3 - February 16, 2009, 05:30 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 16, 2009, 02:32 PM
    Where are the sluts?


    Maybe its a bit like a computer game and you need to click on the right object and find the clues and go up a level. Perhaps when you have enough "Houri Power" you can access the King-sized bed and a Houri or two...


  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #4 - February 16, 2009, 05:41 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on February 16, 2009, 05:30 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 16, 2009, 02:32 PM
    Where are the sluts?


    Maybe its a bit like a computer game and you need to click on the right object and find the clues and go up a level. Perhaps when you have enough "Houri Power" you can access the King-sized bed and a Houri or two...

    Cheesy That sounds like fun Cheesy
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #5 - February 16, 2009, 06:26 PM
    Wait wtf?  Huh?

    Where all the hoes at? I expected a lot of nudity.

    Talk about Jannah disappointments.
    Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #6 - February 16, 2009, 06:37 PM
    My Jannah is still loading....
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #7 - February 16, 2009, 06:40 PM
    Quote from: Shaneequa on February 16, 2009, 06:37 PM
    My Jannah is still loading....


    Ha!  See, you have to wait longer cos you haven't been micro-chipped yet.   Tongue
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #8 - February 16, 2009, 06:51 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on February 16, 2009, 06:40 PM
    Quote from: Shaneequa on February 16, 2009, 06:37 PM
    My Jannah is still loading....


    Ha!  See, you have to wait longer cos you haven't been micro-chipped yet.   Tongue


    Oh yeah??!?  finmad Tongue Tongue Tongue

  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #9 - February 16, 2009, 06:52 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on February 16, 2009, 02:22 PM
    http://www.paradiseinthequran.com/

    This is what you could have for all eternity, if you just give up your apostasy and revert to Islam. 

    According to Adnan Oktar anyway.... wacko

    Edit:  warning before you click on that link - Islamic heaven seems to be very noisy for some reason. 


    You have sound on yours? Mine is silent. sad

  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #10 - February 16, 2009, 06:54 PM
    As far as anything on earth, it's beautiful....but it's nothing like heaven.
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #11 - February 16, 2009, 07:10 PM
    Quote from: Shaneequa on February 16, 2009, 06:52 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on February 16, 2009, 02:22 PM
    http://www.paradiseinthequran.com/

    This is what you could have for all eternity, if you just give up your apostasy and revert to Islam. 

    According to Adnan Oktar anyway.... wacko

    Edit:  warning before you click on that link - Islamic heaven seems to be very noisy for some reason. 


    You have sound on yours? Mine is silent. sad




    Lucky you, I nearly deafened my neighbours when I clicked on it first.  I'll be sending a strongly worded letter to Allah about it. 
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #12 - February 16, 2009, 07:33 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on February 16, 2009, 07:10 PM
    Quote from: Shaneequa on February 16, 2009, 06:52 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on February 16, 2009, 02:22 PM
    http://www.paradiseinthequran.com/

    This is what you could have for all eternity, if you just give up your apostasy and revert to Islam. 

    According to Adnan Oktar anyway.... wacko

    Edit:  warning before you click on that link - Islamic heaven seems to be very noisy for some reason. 


    You have sound on yours? Mine is silent. sad




    Lucky you, I nearly deafened my neighbours when I clicked on it first.  I'll be sending a strongly worded letter to Allah about it. 


    Okay...but remember not to address it to the Western Wall. Allah would not be amused.

     Cheesy
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #13 - February 16, 2009, 07:39 PM
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3708519/Letters-written-to-God-are-delivered-to-the-cracks-in-Jerusalems-Wailing-Wall.html

    Quote
    God has his own postbox and address, and thousands of people send letters to it every year asking for his assistance.

    All you need to write on the envelope is "To God, Jerusalem"; the postman is obliged by international law to deliver it and the correspondence will be sent to the holy city's dead-letter office, which deals with undeliverable mail.

    There post room workers open the envelopes addressed to God and carefully fold up the notes before slipping them between the cracks of the Wailing Wall, Jerusalem's holiest site.

  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #14 - February 16, 2009, 07:41 PM
    I'm missing this??!!!!

    Fuck.
    How perfect is this. Loads of noise from a fake ass waterfall. A random throne in the middle of what seems to be a jungle. A random swan floating on yet more fake ass water and a random dove flying past the screen thousands of times and hasn't shitted once! I cant wait to get to heaven to sit on that throne and then..... erm...... look down on living people. yeah, sounds good. Maybe I give the dove some laxative as well. Seems to have blockage. Might wanna free that butterly that's stuck to the bush as well, it looks like its in pain.

    If the Quran can sort this out Im off.
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #15 - February 16, 2009, 07:44 PM
    I wont have to contact Yahya binks though would I?
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #16 - February 16, 2009, 07:56 PM
    Quote from: Shaneequa on February 16, 2009, 06:54 PM
    it's nothing like heaven.


    What is heaven like?
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #17 - February 16, 2009, 07:58 PM
    Looks boring to me, I'd rather go to hell..
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #18 - February 16, 2009, 08:01 PM
    Quote from: IsLame on February 16, 2009, 07:58 PM
    Looks boring to me, I'd rather go to hell..


    How could hell be better or are you just giving it?
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #19 - February 16, 2009, 08:02 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on February 16, 2009, 07:56 PM
    Quote from: Shaneequa on February 16, 2009, 06:54 PM
    it's nothing like heaven.


    What is heaven like?


    It's amazing! I'll answer when I get back from my walk.
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #20 - February 16, 2009, 08:03 PM
    Quote from: Shaneequa on February 16, 2009, 08:02 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on February 16, 2009, 07:56 PM
    Quote from: Shaneequa on February 16, 2009, 06:54 PM
    it's nothing like heaven.


    What is heaven like?


    It's amazing! I'll answer when I get back from my walk.


    You aint going on any walk.  Cry
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #21 - February 17, 2009, 12:17 AM
    God has a terrible taste, Paradise needs to be redesigned.
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #22 - February 17, 2009, 12:19 AM
    Yep, he cant' even afford a decent interior designer
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #23 - February 17, 2009, 05:09 AM
    What's with the diamonds?
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #24 - February 17, 2009, 05:16 AM
    Quote from: heartbomb on February 17, 2009, 05:09 AM
    What's with the diamonds?


    It's for the virgins.
    Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #25 - February 17, 2009, 10:53 AM
    Quote from: heartbomb on February 17, 2009, 05:09 AM
    What's with the diamonds?


    Arent they links onto different pages?
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #26 - February 17, 2009, 11:06 AM
    Quote from: Tommy on February 17, 2009, 05:16 AM
    Quote from: heartbomb on February 17, 2009, 05:09 AM
    What's with the diamonds?

    It's for the virgins.


    Hey Tommy, thats' a great idea! Men like these virgins-and virgins like diamonds, so the Islamic Heaven does have something for women after all!

    In most of the Mills and Boon books that I read, the hero is always this super rich guy with loads of women chasing after him, and the heroine is more often than not a virgin. Later, innocent heroine marries this rich man, and they live happily ever after.

    Islamic Heaven is perhaps like that, women get these men who'll give them diamonds, and men get these beautiful virgins.

    Quote from: IsLame on February 17, 2009, 12:19 AM
    Yep, he cant' even afford a decent interior designer


    Totally agree! The place is tacky. This Heaven described by Mohammed speaks of the limitations of human imagination, Mohammed could only imagine a garden with Houris-we have Disneyland and Las Vegas right here on Earth.

    Now that Disneyland on Earth is better than Islamic Heaven, will Allah improve the whole thing so that mere mortals don't beat Him?

    Quote from: Cheetah on February 16, 2009, 07:10 PM
    Edit:  warning before you click on that link - Islamic heaven seems to be very noisy for some reason. 


    Methinks Allah is a little hard of hearing, even the Azaan from the mosque always has to be so loud, and now His Heaven is loud as well! 015
    World renowned historian Will Durant"...the Islamic conquest of India is probably the bloodiest story in history. It is a discouraging tale, for its evident moral is that civilization is a precious good, whose delicate complex order and freedom can at any moment be overthrown..."
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #27 - February 17, 2009, 01:30 PM
    Quote from: MSinghK on February 17, 2009, 10:53 AM
    Quote from: heartbomb on February 17, 2009, 05:09 AM
    What's with the diamonds?


    Arent they links onto different pages?


    LOL Why diamonds though...?? Random. They are materialistic so I just think it's weird they would be in heaven.

  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #28 - February 17, 2009, 02:58 PM
    Quote from: heartbomb on February 17, 2009, 01:30 PM
    Quote from: MSinghK on February 17, 2009, 10:53 AM
    Quote from: heartbomb on February 17, 2009, 05:09 AM
    What's with the diamonds?


    Arent they links onto different pages?


    LOL Why diamonds though...?? Random. They are materialistic so I just think it's weird they would be in heaven.




    It's very obvious isnt it? Hmm, what do people like. I know......DIAMONDS.

    Fucking dipshits and a half.  Roll Eyes
  • Re: Look What You're Missing!
     Reply #29 - February 18, 2009, 05:08 AM
    Quote from: Rashna on February 17, 2009, 11:06 AM
    Quote from: Tommy on February 17, 2009, 05:16 AM
    Quote from: heartbomb on February 17, 2009, 05:09 AM
    What's with the diamonds?

    It's for the virgins.


    Hey Tommy, thats' a great idea! Men like these virgins-and virgins like diamonds, so the Islamic Heaven does have something for women after all!

    In most of the Mills and Boon books that I read, the hero is always this super rich guy with loads of women chasing after him, and the heroine is more often than not a virgin. Later, innocent heroine marries this rich man, and they live happily ever after.

    Islamic Heaven is perhaps like that, women get these men who'll give them diamonds, and men get these beautiful virgins.



    Hmm you know, when you put it like that, Jannah sounds suspiciously like a Bollywood film.


     
    Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »