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 Topic: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....

 (Read 9695 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     OP - April 02, 2009, 12:23 AM

    But what about love?

    Is it too much to ask for you, my family, to still love me inspite of my choice?

    Is it too much to ask that you actually care about me, a person infront of you, more than an imaginary being you just hope is there?

    Now I'm a kaffir is it ok to treat me like dirt, to take the piss, to hurt me, to steal from me and cheat and decieve me?

    Why does leaving my religion mean I become a nobody to people I am supposed to feel safe with?

    Sure I know you've never really given a shit about me anyway, but for once, just once, it would be nice to be special to you, to believe for one split second that I have what everyone should have, a loving family?

    Sorry for the rant guys, I'm just so tired of being the black sheep, the outcast, the scum of the earth, just because I don't believe and I make different choices.

    So I'm licentious, and what?  why should my sexual habits, that hurt no one, NOT one fucking person (aside from your honour) mean I now deserve no respect?

    Why does the fact that I smoke and I party, that I wear clothes I like, somehow make me less of a person that I was yesterday?

    Why is respect packaged up in that bubble?  why not wrap it a bubble and grant it to people for the kindness they do, instead of the social standing you desire?

    Rant rant, vent vent, arghhh  finmad banghead

    Anyone else feel this way?  Cry

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #1 - April 02, 2009, 12:30 AM

    I would feel that way if anyone knew I wasn't a Muslim anymore but luckily I have the facility to keep it a secret.

    I can feel your pain. Wait, that's a lie, but I can sort of imagine something close to it. I have been an outcast before for my  behaivour but never for apostasy, I have also read your bio, and I can see your family are far from normal. Unfortunately this is something of Eastern cultures-honour has so much value that people lose their values when they lose their honour. Also, freedom means nothing whatsoever in such cultures. That's why I am harsh with cultural criticism, save lives not feelings etc.

    Anyway, the bright side (if there is one and if you look at things this way) is that you are effectively getting a book that says "How NOT to treat your children". One day when one of your children brings home a black girlfriend or comes out of the closet or whatever (IE does something you might disagree with that is not harmful-not that your a homophobe or a racist) you will be able to reminicse and remember how it felt to be an outcast for making your own choices, and you'll be able to sympathise and perhaps handle the situation with grace and in a sensitive and fair manner, rather than the silly way you have been treated. Basically your learning a lesson. There's the silver linning if you want it.

    My sympathies.

    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #2 - April 02, 2009, 12:41 AM

    Thanks finally free, yes, that is a silver lining.  Smiley

    The joke of it is, my father was an outcast from his family, seems he learned the wrong lessons.  In his eagerness to fit back in he went even further into the religion than his father.  Fortunately I have no intention of making those same mistakes.


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #3 - April 02, 2009, 12:48 AM

    Thanks finally free, yes, that is a silver lining.  Smiley

    The joke of it is, my father was an outcast from his family, seems he learned the wrong lessons.  In his eagerness to fit back in he went even further into the religion than his father.  Fortunately I have no intention of making those same mistakes.




    I think-and this is just a theory-but when someone radicalises to that much of an extent after being "loose" they blank those years out. Those years of fun and decadence are a source of much shame and a deep stain that can only be removed with good deeds (!) Since Muslims (and other fundamentals from other religions I suppose) try to forget those years they spent in the dark, they also forget how it felt to be picked on or disliked-so when it comes to the same situation with someone else, they can't treat them in a fair manner.

    Ironically my Dad was an outcast for years too. He spent years and years and years doing the wrong things and drinking, gambling, sleeping with prostitutes and men and whatnot. After that he became a Salafi (good old Saudi propaganda) and the only lesson he learned was that he should never put the Quran down again. When it came to me being an outcast I only met harsh treatment and a fist.

    People like that are the victims of irony, like you said, they learn the wrong lessons. Open-mindedness has no place in an honor based culture and free choice is unheard of.

    Anyway, I'll leave it for someone else with more maturity, experience and insight to comment on the matter.

    Regards.

    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #4 - April 02, 2009, 12:51 AM



    I think-and this is just a theory-but when someone radicalises to that much of an extent after being "loose" they blank those years out. Those years of fun and decadence are a source of much shame and a deep stain that can only be removed with good deeds (!) Since Muslims (and other fundamentals from other religions I suppose) try to forget those years they spent in the dark, they also forget how it felt to be picked on or disliked-so when it comes to the same situation with someone else, they can't treat them in a fair manner.

    Ironically my Dad was an outcast for years too. He spent years and years and years doing the wrong things and drinking, gambling, sleeping with prostitutes and men and whatnot. After that he became a Salafi (good old Saudi propaganda) and the only lesson he learned was that he should never put the Quran down again. When it came to me being an outcast I only met harsh treatment and a fist.

    People like that are the victims of irony, like you said, they learn the wrong lessons. Open-mindedness has no place in an honor based culture and free choice is unheard of.

    Anyway, I'll leave it for someone else with more maturity, experience and insight to comment on the matter.


    Regards.



    No, not at all.  Your post really made a whole lot of sense to me.  I had never looked at it that way, but you are so right.   Smiley

    Thank you for listening, and actually calming me down with a new way of looking at a very old problem.  far away hug

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #5 - April 02, 2009, 01:40 AM

    Look at it this way. You have the opportunity to discard a family who doesn't care about, or want you.

    It's a chance to build your own new family. Filled with people who actually care about you, and what happens to you. They may not be blood relatives, but blood is overrated anyway.

     far away hug

    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #6 - April 02, 2009, 05:13 AM

    I know exactly how you feel Berbs... no matter how long you've been the black sheep there are always moments that sting as bad as ever. With me its beginning to have a take on my sanity, I need to do something about that  Cry



    Quod est inferius est sicut quod est superius,
    et quod est superius est sicut quod est inferius,
    ad perpetranda miracula rei unius.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #7 - April 02, 2009, 05:50 AM

    But what about love?

    Is it too much to ask for you, my family, to still love me inspite of my choice?

    Is it too much to ask that you actually care about me, a person infront of you, more than an imaginary being you just hope is there?

    Now I'm a kaffir is it ok to treat me like dirt, to take the piss, to hurt me, to steal from me and cheat and decieve me?

    Why does leaving my religion mean I become a nobody to people I am supposed to feel safe with?

    Sure I know you've never really given a shit about me anyway, but for once, just once, it would be nice to be special to you, to believe for one split second that I have what everyone should have, a loving family?

    Sorry for the rant guys, I'm just so tired of being the black sheep, the outcast, the scum of the earth, just because I don't believe and I make different choices.

    So I'm licentious, and what?  why should my sexual habits, that hurt no one, NOT one fucking person (aside from your honour) mean I now deserve no respect?

    Why does the fact that I smoke and I party, that I wear clothes I like, somehow make me less of a person that I was yesterday?

    Why is respect packaged up in that bubble?  why not wrap it a bubble and grant it to people for the kindness they do, instead of the social standing you desire?

    Rant rant, vent vent, arghhh  finmad banghead

    Anyone else feel this way?  Cry


    Berbs,

    I can relate. I've been an ex-Muslim for about almost two years now, and I already feel the "outcast" vibe. No matter how much I emphasize that being a Kaffir doesn't mean I'm a Muslim hater (like Hesperado), I'm still branded as such. Perhaps not always literally, but I can sense the change in people's attitude-especially my family. I don't like imposing my beliefs on others, but hell, I have an opinion, and I like to demonstrate it.  When I let go of faith, I felt very free, and I still do. I'm free to express my opinion about anything and not have to worry about who I hurt. Although, hurting anyone is never my agenda. Even still, because of such freedom, I'm always told by people that I'm somehow a derailed individual. Someone who will become the most inconsiderate person in the world.  When you say "why does the things I do make me anything less of a person I was yesterday," I ask the same. It doesn't make sense to me either.

    But, considering everything negative that people think of me, there is one fact that keeps me sane: I can't change what others think, I can only change myself.

    As long as I'm not hurting anyone, and I respect others- people have no business paying attention to my personal life. If they'd rather befriend me because of the fact I'm true to myself, then well, they are not much of a human to begin with.

    Thats' just my two cents.

    Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #8 - April 02, 2009, 08:04 AM

    Quote

    No, not at all.  Your post really made a whole lot of sense to me.  I had never looked at it that way, but you are so right.   Smiley

    Thank you for listening, and actually calming me down with a new way of looking at a very old problem.  far away hug



    Well, sometimes it's good to get other peoples perspectives, I'm usually a narrow minded person and I can't see beyond my own angle. But apparantly my angle isn't always bad.

    Not a problem, it's not easy dealing with these issues and it's always good to get it out.

    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #9 - April 02, 2009, 11:56 AM

    Look at it this way. You have the opportunity to discard a family who doesn't care about, or want you.

    It's a chance to build your own new family. Filled with people who actually care about you, and what happens to you. They may not be blood relatives, but blood is overrated anyway.

     far away hug



    True, now why don't you live in the UK again?  I need a hug, a big man hug.  Cry

    I know exactly how you feel Berbs... no matter how long you've been the black sheep there are always moments that sting as bad as ever. With me its beginning to have a take on my sanity, I need to do something about that  Cry



    Exactly.  It just doesn't get much easier it seems.  I know I hace kids of my own, and a chance to have a family that way, but the little girl inside of me wants her parental love still to this day and I can't shut her up sometimes.  Tongue

    I knew when I made the first post that many here would identify with these feelings.  hugs



    Berbs,

    I can relate. I've been an ex-Muslim for about almost two years now, and I already feel the "outcast" vibe. No matter how much I emphasize that being a Kaffir doesn't mean I'm a Muslim hater (like Hesperado), I'm still branded as such. Perhaps not always literally, but I can sense the change in people's attitude-especially my family. I don't like imposing my beliefs on others, but hell, I have an opinion, and I like to demonstrate it.  When I let go of faith, I felt very free, and I still do. I'm free to express my opinion about anything and not have to worry about who I hurt. Although, hurting anyone is never my agenda. Even still, because of such freedom, I'm always told by people that I'm somehow a derailed individual. Someone who will become the most inconsiderate person in the world.  When you say "why does the things I do make me anything less of a person I was yesterday," I ask the same. It doesn't make sense to me either.

    But, considering everything negative that people think of me, there is one fact that keeps me sane: I can't change what others think, I can only change myself.

    As long as I'm not hurting anyone, and I respect others- people have no business paying attention to my personal life. If they'd rather befriend me because of the fact I'm true to myself, then well, they are not much of a human to begin with.

    Thats' just my two cents.


    Yes, I still feel free inside and I love having that weight lifted off of my shoulder, the weight of faith.  I just wish it didn't have to be replaced by a new weight, albeit a lesser one since it only stings sometimes.

    Same here too, I hold onto my belief that I know I am a good person and I know I have done no real wrong, it makes it easier knowing that I am not the one to blame here.


    This is for all of you ex muslims who feel alone  far away hug I feel your sadness like it is my own, it makes me proud though, to know that we are here together, no matter how hard the road feels sometimes.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #10 - April 02, 2009, 12:47 PM

     
    Quote
    I need a hug...

    hugs


    And one for everyone else.


    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #11 - April 02, 2009, 01:08 PM


    Quote
    I need a hug...

    hugs


    And one for everyone else.

    (Clicky for piccy!)


    Thanks teddybear.  grin12

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #12 - April 02, 2009, 01:22 PM

    Welcome hunny.  Smiley

    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #13 - April 02, 2009, 01:23 PM

    Can I nick another one?  Tongue

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #14 - April 02, 2009, 01:43 PM

    You betcha.


     hugs

    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #15 - April 02, 2009, 01:45 PM

    You betcha.


     hugs


    Woooooo oooooooooo  Cheesy

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #16 - April 02, 2009, 01:46 PM

    Woooo Hoooo!!


    You're pretty snuggly...  grin12  hugs

    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #17 - April 02, 2009, 01:59 PM

    I know.  cool2

    So are you.  Wink

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #18 - April 02, 2009, 02:03 PM

     grin12

    *snuggle*

    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #19 - April 29, 2009, 04:11 PM

    BerberElla,

    You will never be a black sheep to me.  far away hug
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #20 - May 13, 2009, 11:47 AM

    But what about love?

    Is it too much to ask for you, my family, to still love me inspite of my choice?

    Is it too much to ask that you actually care about me, a person infront of you, more than an imaginary being you just hope is there?

    Now I'm a kaffir is it ok to treat me like dirt, to take the piss, to hurt me, to steal from me and cheat and decieve me?

    Why does leaving my religion mean I become a nobody to people I am supposed to feel safe with?



    They should still love you.

    You have made your choice and chosen whatever you like.

    I still love you even you though you dont believe in your and my creator.

    So what if you are not a muslim.

    You are a human being.


    truthful person never fears debates: http://omrow.blogspot.com/
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #21 - May 13, 2009, 12:50 PM

    But what about love?

    Is it too much to ask for you, my family, to still love me inspite of my choice?

    Is it too much to ask that you actually care about me, a person infront of you, more than an imaginary being you just hope is there?

    Now I'm a kaffir is it ok to treat me like dirt, to take the piss, to hurt me, to steal from me and cheat and decieve me?

    Why does leaving my religion mean I become a nobody to people I am supposed to feel safe with?

    Sure I know you've never really given a shit about me anyway, but for once, just once, it would be nice to be special to you, to believe for one split second that I have what everyone should have, a loving family?

    Sorry for the rant guys, I'm just so tired of being the black sheep, the outcast, the scum of the earth, just because I don't believe and I make different choices.

    So I'm licentious, and what?  why should my sexual habits, that hurt no one, NOT one fucking person (aside from your honour) mean I now deserve no respect?

    Why does the fact that I smoke and I party, that I wear clothes I like, somehow make me less of a person that I was yesterday?

    Why is respect packaged up in that bubble?  why not wrap it a bubble and grant it to people for the kindness they do, instead of the social standing you desire?

    Rant rant, vent vent, arghhh  finmad banghead

    Anyone else feel this way?  Cry


    That is what indoctrination does to humans.
  • Re: So you have no respect for me now I'm an ex muslim.....
     Reply #22 - May 13, 2009, 12:58 PM

    But what about love?

    Is it too much to ask for you, my family, to still love me inspite of my choice?

    Is it too much to ask that you actually care about me, a person infront of you, more than an imaginary being you just hope is there?

    Now I'm a kaffir is it ok to treat me like dirt, to take the piss, to hurt me, to steal from me and cheat and decieve me?

    Why does leaving my religion mean I become a nobody to people I am supposed to feel safe with?



    They should still love you.

    You have made your choice and chosen whatever you like.

    I still love you even you though you dont believe in your and my creator.

    So what if you are not a muslim.

    You are a human being.




    Who are you and what have you done with rayback?  whistling2
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