God loves you

1« Previous thread | Next thread »
- Tommy
- Let me feel your butt
- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
- offline
God loves you
OP - April 26, 2009, 04:09 AM

but...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yV0lVWtyduo&feature=channel_page

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- Pazuzu
- any% speedrunner
- Ex-Muslim
- Pazuzu bin Hanbi
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #1 - April 26, 2009, 04:56 AM

That is seriously fabulous, and actually very biting too. That sounds an awful like the Qur'anic god as well. Constant threats of eternal doom and punishment interspersed with declarations of "allah is all-merciful", as though we'll fall for that.

Is he the guy who gave that hilarious explanation of the Trinity and called it 'simple'?

"At 8:47 I do a grenade jump off a ladder."
- Homer
- Pub Regular
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #2 - April 26, 2009, 05:19 AM

God reminds me of this crazy girl I used to know......
she was an "I love you and if you break up with me I'll cut your balls off" type

wonder if I can get a restraining order from yahwehallahgod

The foundation of superstition is ignorance, the
superstructure is faith and the dome is a vain hope. Superstition
is the child of ignorance and the mother of misery.
-Robert G. Ingersoll (1898)

"Do time ninjas have this ability?" "Yeah. Only they stay silent and aren't douchebags." -Ibl
- Tommy
- Let me feel your butt
- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #3 - April 26, 2009, 05:29 AM

Quote from: Pazuzu on April 26, 2009, 04:56 AM
Is he the guy who gave that hilarious explanation of the Trinity and called it 'simple'?

Yep

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- Mixu Paatelainen
- Ex-Muslim
- Rudeboy
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #4 - April 26, 2009, 11:46 AM

That reminds me of a George Carlin routine

"The invisible man has a special list of 10 things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these 10 things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever till the end of time. . . . . . . But he loves you!"

Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
- cosmicdancer
- Pub Regular
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #5 - April 26, 2009, 12:28 PM

I hate the way Christians and Muslims talk about how much God loves us while peddling a belief in a God that is cruel beyond all imagination.
- Rashna
- Pub Regular
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #6 - April 26, 2009, 12:31 PM

Quote from: Hassan on April 26, 2009, 12:28 PM
I hate the way Christians and Muslims talk about how much God loves us while peddling a belief in a God that is cruel beyond all imagination.

They're like one of those lovers who'll kill the girl they love if she refuses their advances..., or like one of those honor killing husbands, just like honor killing husbands would kill their wives if they're cuckolded, God will burn people He loves in Hell if they pray to another God.

World renowned historian Will Durant"...the Islamic conquest of India is probably the bloodiest story in history. It is a discouraging tale, for its evident moral is that civilization is a precious good, whose delicate complex order and freedom can at any moment be overthrown..."
- cosmicdancer
- Pub Regular
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #7 - April 26, 2009, 12:38 PM

Quote from: Rashna on April 26, 2009, 12:31 PM
Quote from: Hassan on April 26, 2009, 12:28 PM
I hate the way Christians and Muslims talk about how much God loves us while peddling a belief in a God that is cruel beyond all imagination.

They're like one of those lovers who'll kill the girl they love if she refuses their advances..., or like one of those honor killing husbands, just like honor killing husbands would kill their wives if they're cuckolded, God will burn people He loves in Hell if they pray to another God.

Yup... like I say, this is a very Human God - a very jealous, possesive and vindictive human.
- Pazuzu
- any% speedrunner
- Ex-Muslim
- Pazuzu bin Hanbi
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #8 - April 26, 2009, 01:36 PM

Quote from: Hassan on April 26, 2009, 12:28 PM
I hate the way Christians and Muslims talk about how much God loves us while peddling a belief in a God that is cruel beyond all imagination.

You and me both! The Qur'an is FILLED with descriptions of the endless cruelty of god, interspersed with passages like "allah is all-merciful", as though saying that after the cruelties would fool us! It's like saying: "Here's our fantastic new burger, it can be yours at a cost of ONLY 8.99! ONLY! Very cheap!"

"At 8:47 I do a grenade jump off a ladder."
- Saif Rahman
- Ex-Muslim
- Je suis Haram
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #9 - April 26, 2009, 03:19 PM

Quote from: Pazuzu on April 26, 2009, 01:36 PM
Quote from: Hassan on April 26, 2009, 12:28 PM
I hate the way Christians and Muslims talk about how much God loves us while peddling a belief in a God that is cruel beyond all imagination.

You and me both! The Qur'an is FILLED with descriptions of the endless cruelty of god, interspersed with passages like "allah is all-merciful", as though saying that after the cruelties would fool us! It's like saying: "Here's our fantastic new burger, it can be yours at a cost of ONLY 8.99! ONLY! Very cheap!"

Is that with, or without, the fries?

My Book
My Blog
- Tlaloc
- Aperture Science Test Subject
- Pub Regular
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #10 - April 26, 2009, 03:24 PM

I want to start a new religion teaching that God HATES you.
But if you kiss his omnipotent ass enough, he will reward you.

Do not look directly at the operational end of the device.
- AlmostAisha
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #11 - April 26, 2009, 04:47 PM

Quote from: Pazuzu on April 26, 2009, 01:36 PM
The Qur'an is FILLED with descriptions of the endless cruelty of god, interspersed with passages like "allah is all-merciful", as though saying that after the cruelties would fool us! It's like saying: "Here's our fantastic new burger, it can be yours at a cost of ONLY 8.99! ONLY! Very cheap!"

lol the funny thing is it DOES fool many. I was telling a Muslim friend my opinion about how hell is a terrible place, only worthy of a cruel and evil God, and she retorted with full confidence that "every verse in the Qur'an starts with saying that God is merciful".... THAT was the best argument a girl that *teaches* Islam as a job could come up with.

"when you've got thousands of hadith/sunnah and a book like the Qur'an where abrogation is propagated by some; anyone with a grudge and some time on their hands can find something to confirm what ever they wish"- Kaiwai
- AlmostAisha
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #12 - April 26, 2009, 04:48 PM

hilarious video, btw

"when you've got thousands of hadith/sunnah and a book like the Qur'an where abrogation is propagated by some; anyone with a grudge and some time on their hands can find something to confirm what ever they wish"- Kaiwai
- cosmicdancer
- Pub Regular
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #13 - April 26, 2009, 04:49 PM

Quote from: Tlaloc on April 26, 2009, 03:24 PM
I want to start a new religion teaching that God HATES you.
But if you kiss his omnipotent ass enough, he will reward you.

Now that's more like it
- cosmicdancer
- Pub Regular
- offline
Re: God loves you
Reply #14 - April 26, 2009, 04:54 PM

Quote from: AlmostAisha on April 26, 2009, 04:47 PM
Quote from: Pazuzu on April 26, 2009, 01:36 PM
The Qur'an is FILLED with descriptions of the endless cruelty of god, interspersed with passages like "allah is all-merciful", as though saying that after the cruelties would fool us! It's like saying: "Here's our fantastic new burger, it can be yours at a cost of ONLY 8.99! ONLY! Very cheap!"

lol the funny thing is it DOES fool many. I was telling a Muslim friend my opinion about how hell is a terrible place, only worthy of a cruel and evil God, and she retorted with full confidence that "every verse in the Qur'an starts with saying that God is merciful".... THAT was the best argument a girl that *teaches* Islam as a job could come up with.

I should try that.

I'm going to go up to random people and say:

"I will GENEROUSLY give you 5 pounds and you ONLY have to give me ten pounds in return."

By Qur'anic logic it should work.

(Though of course the deeper, hidden meaning is that I am benefiting this person by stripping him of the shallow glitter of this life so he may find the true treasures within - eh Tailor?)
1« Previous thread | Next thread »