What, say no way? wacko
You're still not ready to declare it?
What exactly is it that still makes you hold back from that final declaration?
I don't know :( I know it sounds silly and irrational. Only way I can explain it is like this; it's like being in love with somebody and then growing up to realize that you were in love with an image of that person and not the actual person. You idealized them, and saw past their faults and mistakes because they brought you joy. You grow up and realize you yourself brought joy. The image of them brought joy, but themselves never actually did. And any interaction, however slight, would tenfold the joy's of being in love. It would compound your belief and thoroughly cement it, tis' not a love vain, nor one lost. And any misstep on their part, would never be scrutinized but by a passing thought.
I already lost a love like this, and it hurt like a motherfucker. It did make me grow, and make me stronger. And I have since, long moved on. To the point where I am happy for her, sincerely happy. But alas, now the gods of truth are demanding a new sacrifice on their altar. And even as I stand before them brandishing my knife, I hesitate. To make that once last cut to the jugular would mean another love lost.